Quote from: Nero on January 24, 2009, 09:57:59 AM

Quote from: JasmineG on January 24, 2009, 08:09:54 AM
I've lived my life as a female for 15 years now and counting. I started living my life as a female when I was 22 or 23 years old. There was no transition period for me. But, you know what? I'm a woman. Legally, I'm a woman. Physically, I'm a woman. Medically speaking, I'm a woman. Hormonally, I'm a woman. Who do I need to prove this too but myself?

Should I carry around my medical papers to prove that I'm a woman? Should I pull down my pants so that they see my genitalia? Should I show them my birth certificate and drivers license to prove that I'm not a man? The heck with what someone says. You don't need to surround yourself with people like this.

I don't care what someone sitting next to me thinks. Do I blend in? Do I look female enough to pass? Do they think I have big hands? Do they think I have big feet? Oh God, please don't let my cellphone ring and I have answer it in public! Look at all these people that look better than me, they all know about me. I don't pass well. I must have, "Guy in a Dress" syndrome. lol

These thoughts are not of someone that is confidence, of someone that is sure of themselves, of someone that loves themselves, or of someone that knows without a doubt that they are a woman. These thoughts come from a person that still wonders if they are a man or woman.

If your a woman, you don't need no one else to tell you, your woman.  Let's not confuse body image with a lack of self confidence. There's a difference here. It's o.k. to look in that mirror on a daily basis and say, "You know what, I don't like the way my nose looks." vs. "You what what, I think my nose makes me look like a boy."  Do you see the difference? I don't wake up thinking what body parts make me a man or woman. Nor, do I wake up wondering what someone else next to me is thinking. I don't care if they think I'm a man or woman. What matters is what I think I am. I'm woman, period and I have half my life to prove that I have lived my entire life as a woman regardless if someone at work, church sitting on a bus or sitting in a coffee house looks at me and says, "That's a man."

Are you a man or are you woman? Whichever decision you decide, start living like one and stop all this crazy talk about "Guy in a dress Syndrome."

you go girl!

What do I think?...I think I'm a woman, how do I feel?...I feel Like a woman, how do I act?...I'm not acting,

How do I look?...Well I guess I'm glad I don't wear dresses.



Ok, I have worn skirts

Quote from: stardust on January 23, 2009, 02:38:00 PM
I'm going to rock the boat here. I have a real bad thing. I don't like being with trans people who don't pass. It comes from not wanting to be seen as trans if you get want I mean. I am female.

All that I do is as a female my work, leisure activities, church, 100% is lived and accepted as female. To join in with others that look like guys in a dress is a problem for me.

Also others that I know who still have, shall I say, more maleness than femaleness find getting work and social acceptance a real problem and live on social welfare. I do feel for them, I don't want to be judgemental but society is what it is. I'm a realist and I do get fed up with people who say others look great when obviously it may at best be OK.

I also understand that someone with gender dysphoria has no choice in how they look. You are lumbered with what nature has given you and you have to work with that. My problem I think is not wanting to be included with them in public. I know this may get me some flak but I do really feel for the 15 stone biker who has GID. I also don't want to appear elitist and seem unfeeling and I may not be explaining myself very well.

For me you see, I am female and my trans nature is just the medical thing in between. I am no longer trans in my mind and body. O yes some may say different and I will always be trans and I don't pass that well either, but as far as legal, work, and life I am female so for me I am 100% female.

I'm thinking I shouldn't post this now, lol. but here goes.

Stardust

An interesting post. If you are a genetic female and wouldn't ever be seen out with a obviously masculine looking transsexual why do you come into a transsexual forum?

Also interesting is that while scanning through the posts I actually thought you were a transsexual from your avatar photograph. I think you need to look at yourself before making those kind of statements.

I agree with you that we shouldn't build someone up with false compliments if they need help in whatever capacity and I have been in trouble myself for providing an honest answer to someone's criteria instead of a false one.

But you seem to be critical of anyone who suffers from gender dysphoria or is intersexed or anything that is not up to your 100% female standard regardless if they look like a bloke or an absolute stunning babe.

Some genetic females are bigoted against transexuals for various reasons but I've been lucky in that most females I know as friends have no idea I'm transsexual. If they did it is possible they could also adopt a similar attitude to your own.

By the way I don't ever wear dresses but I am still seen as a normal female. I think stereotyping is a dangerous thing..

 well I have no clue where I fit in these standards and honestly I don't want to know if I am as is stated a guy in a dress (although I don't wear dresses often at all) by others standards that is fine with me and if an elitest doesn't want to associate with me that is great I will hang out with my sister GIDs and we will have a good time amoungst ourselves. If however I don't qualify as someone with guy in dress syndrome by your standards please make an exception in your standards for me and just drop me under that term and me and my sisters will still hang out and have fun! I personally don't understand the elitest attitude as it says under my picture I am a sister to anyone who needs one and i will be a sister to anyone who wants one that includes any of my trans sisters any trans brother and any sibling out there who fits anywhere in between our outside any of these definitions!

[/quote]

An interesting post. If you are a genetic female and wouldn't ever be seen out with a obviously masculine looking transsexual why do you come into a transsexual forum?

Also interesting is that while scanning through the posts I actually thought you were a transsexual from your avatar photograph. I think you need to look at yourself before making those kind of statements.

Sorry Naturally Blonde if I offended you, there was no intention, I'm really gutted now about my pic, I'm now going to get some FFS, lol.

But the reason for the post was to highlight my problem of being identified as trans. Being with people that don't pass that well (I suppose now I am included in that, lol) worries me because I don't identify as such and I don't want to be seen as such. That's my point. I am female from start to finish even though I was born with a male body defect, so my mtf is merely a medical condition no different from any other medical condition that needs medical intervention.

luv

Stardust

Quote from: stardust on January 30, 2009, 03:52:30 AM

Sorry Naturally Blonde if I offended you, there was no intention, I'm really gutted now about my pic, I'm now going to get some FFS, lol.

But the reason for the post was to highlight my problem of being identified as trans. Being with people that don't pass that well (I suppose now I am included in that, lol) worries me because I don't identify as such and I don't want to be seen as such. That's my point. I am female from start to finish even though I was born with a male body defect, so my mtf is merely a medical condition no different from any other medical condition that needs medical intervention.

luv

Stardust

You have every right to decied how you want to be seen and you have every right to choose how to live. The idea that some post-ops and some of those who have come to the point of passing having this fear of being seen with people who do not pass is kinnda scary it seems in alot of ways that once these goals are reached these people who were once discrimated against and made to feel as less than people pass then into "normal" society and then use that status to become just as bigoted and uncaring as the people who dicrimated against them. It really seems as though for some the whole goal to transisition is to become one of the ruling class so they can use there new status to look down on others as they themselves where once looked down upon. When this happens doesn't that seem to send a message that it is ok that main stream society shuns us because if people who were once in the very same position cannot be understanding and empathetic then how could we ever expect mainstream society to show those traits. In choosing to behave like those that have hurt us couldn't it be said that we show that it is ok that they hurt us and wouldn't we be condoning the idea that society is right to persecute us all along? can we really expect to defete discrimation against us in mainstream soceity if there is this discrimation even amongst ourselves?

[quote author=Jessie_Heart link=topic=53393.msg339607#msg339607

You have every right to decied how you want to be seen and you have every right to choose how to live. The idea that some post-ops and some of those who have come to the point of passing having this fear of being seen with people who do not pass is kinnda scary it seems in alot of ways that once these goals are reached these people who were once discrimated against and made to feel as less than people pass then into "normal" society and then use that status to become just as bigoted and uncaring as the people who dicrimated against them.
[/quote]

You have not got my point. I said the things I say from a personal point of view because of these self same bigoted views from society. For me I want to be feminine not just on the inside. I want to be feminine on the outside. To reach my goals and self expression of who I really am means to get rid of all my male traits, looks, etc. That's me, I'm not satisfied with looking like a "guy in a dress." That's my point. I'm not saying others are any less a person but I am not into the trans scene. I don't know why I'm here either. So I will as you say become normal and fade into the night. I wish all of you well and that your dreams come true. In closing my last post I will say, "be true to yourself."

Stardust   

It is a shame to yet again see....

..that some people here do not bother to carefully read and understand a post before launching into unjustified personal attacks.

I'm sorry Stardust.... thank you for posting with honesty and understanding over the last year.

Chrissty

Quote from: Chrissty on January 30, 2009, 01:21:49 PM
It is a shame to yet again see....

..that some people here do not bother to carefully read and understand a post before launching into unjustified personal attacks.

I'm sorry Stardust.... thank you for posting with honesty and understanding over the last year.

Chrissty

I hope that my post did not come across as a personal attack on stardust the post that I made was actually a general one on the topic. the only reason I quoted the previous post was in address for my first line that she had every right to decied how she wanted to be seen and that she had every right to decied how to live, I then went on to use general broad terms to envolope the entire thread rather than to personally rail against one post or person. I now wish I would have made that more clear I wish I could ammend this error but it is evidentally too late maybe I should stop replying to post and just come here to read so this type of damage isn't caused again. my intention with my post in this thread and many others has been one of trying protect others feelings and to avoid discrimation against others in our community but it seems even though my intentions were good the old saying "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" seems to apply. I have no plans to leave the site and anyone who would like to talk with me can feel free to send me a private message but I think it may be best for me to keep my opinions to myself at least for awhile. I hope that in my lack of clarity with what I have said I have not caused others any damage if I have please understand that it was unintentional I hope that it does not stop anyone else from getting the support on this site that they need.

Everybody who posted here looks all woman to me.. They sound all woman to me and they are all woman to me.

However, i do have an issue with people who want to play and by that i mean they will not go all the way that they can go to be their best or they just want the thrill and not the work that goes with transitioning.

Quote from: Jessie_Heart on January 30, 2009, 01:43:52 PM
I hope that in my lack of clarity with what I have said I have not caused others any damage if I have please understand that it was unintentional I hope that it does not stop anyone else from getting the support on this site that they need.

Hi Jessie,

I hope Stardust gets to read your reply, I'm sure she would
appreciate it, and I also wasn't referring specifically to your post.

I'm sure she knew what she was writing was a little contentious,
but some of the best post here are.

Unfortunately she lost a job she trained 2 years for, because of
her GID, and had to move to another area to get work. Now
that she is getting established, I'm sure she is clearly worried
about the same thing happening again if she does not remain
stealth, hence her comments.

Please do not stop expressing your opinions, as that's what this
site is for....
....but please be a little more careful about how you present
your response, if you do not want it to be taken as personal.

Chrissty

QuoteHi Jessie,

I hope Stardust gets to read your reply, I'm sure she would
appreciate it, and I also wasn't referring specifically to your post.

I'm sure she knew what she was writing was a little contentious,
but some of the best post here are.

Unfortunately she lost a job she trained 2 years for, because of
her GID, and had to move to another area to get work. Now
that she is getting established, I'm sure she is clearly worried
about the same thing happening again if she does not remain
stealth, hence her comments.

Please do not stop expressing your opinions, as that's what this
site is for....
....but please be a little more careful about how you present
your response, if you do not want it to be taken as personal.

Chrissty

I know you weren't talking to me directly Chrissty but due to the fact that evidentally my post was the one that drove stardust away I knew I was at least one of the offending parties. I will continue to partisipate in the site but as you say the presentation of my post will in the future be more carefully thought out I know now I should have split the post into two or maybe even started a new topic to assure that it was clear that I was not personally attacking anyone. once again I would like to apoligize to everyone for being overzelous in stating my opinion!

Quote from: Jessie_Heart on January 30, 2009, 01:43:52 PM
I have no plans to leave the site and anyone who would like to talk with me can feel free to send me a private message but I think it may be best for me to keep my opinions to myself at least for awhile. I hope that in my lack of clarity with what I have said I have not caused others any damage if I have please understand that it was unintentional I hope that it does not stop anyone else from getting the support on this site that they need.

I hope you'll stick around Jessie. Your opinions are valid and valuable.

My thoughts on this topic, there is no one I wouldn't be seen with regardless of whether they "pass" as target gender or not. I look at the quality of the person, if they are a good person then I'm proud to be seen in public with them.

Z

Quote from: Zythyra on January 30, 2009, 03:04:50 PM
My thoughts on this topic, there is no one I wouldn't be seen with regardless of whether they "pass" as target gender or not. I look at the quality of the person, if they are a good person then I'm proud to be seen in public with them.

Z

I agree wholeheartedly with that statement, and it's my philosophy also.

Quote from: postoplesbian on January 30, 2009, 02:10:29 PM
Everybody who posted here looks all woman to me.. They sound all woman to me and they are all woman to me.

However, i do have an issue with people who want to play and by that i mean they will not go all the way that they can go to be their best or they just want the thrill and not the work that goes with transitioning.

As I said in the personal message to you I can appreciate this point of view the idea of encouraging someone to be the best they can be as far as appearance goes (to me though this would apply no matter what gender of classification someone was). I can see this approach as being something to uplift someone and not running them down for things that are out of thier control.

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Post Merge: January 30, 2009, 03:18:27 PM

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Quote from: Zythyra on January 30, 2009, 03:04:50 PM

Quote from: Jessie_Heart on January 30, 2009, 01:43:52 PM
I have no plans to leave the site and anyone who would like to talk with me can feel free to send me a private message but I think it may be best for me to keep my opinions to myself at least for awhile. I hope that in my lack of clarity with what I have said I have not caused others any damage if I have please understand that it was unintentional I hope that it does not stop anyone else from getting the support on this site that they need.

I hope you'll stick around Jessie. Your opinions are valid and valuable.

My thoughts on this topic, there is no one I wouldn't be seen with regardless of whether they "pass" as target gender or not. I look at the quality of the person, if they are a good person then I'm proud to be seen in public with them.

Z

I will be sticking around thanks I guess if the first sign of mistakes I make or trouble I have I run away I am not going to get very far in life (as far as transisition or anything else!).

I agree with the statment of being seen with anybody no matter thier passing status also. I have always avoided be a member of anything exclusive anyway "I would never be a part of any club that would have someone like me as a member!!"