is crossdressing supposed to be fun and exciting or is it a need that has to be fulfilled?

Dominique,

I think the answer is yes to both questions.  Crossdressing is fun and exciting...at least I think it is.  It is also a need that has to be fulfilled.  If I don't dress as a woman I feel as though I am denying another part of my personality.  Some say it is expressing an inner femininity. I'm okay with that assessment.  Whatever the reasons for my need to dress I just know it makes me feel very content when I'm able to do it.

Hugs,

Sally

Sally,thanks for the response ,I agree with you but why do I sometimes feel so ashamed after I dress up.
Dominique

I think the answer to that question varies from person to person.  I think crossdressing is fun and exciting for most but the question of why we crossdress varies widely.  I too used to feel ashamed after crossdressing and still do on occasion.  There was always this conflict between my male persona which came out after the crossdressing and my female persona which sort of took over once I started dressing.  I think part of the reason I crossdress is to better relate to and understand women but my male persona is still very attracted to women as a male so I feel ashamed once the dressing euphoria is over.

Hi Dawnalicia,your comments are well taken.You are right I think when you say that when the euphoric feeling disipitates one could feel shame but I also
feel empty and lonley and sad and alot of other feelings.

Thanks
Dominique1

Hi Dominique,

I have felt all those things.  I don't want to get too psychoanalytical but after a lot of reading, therapy, introspection I have found that for me crossdressing ties in with all sorts of childhood experiences.  I have often thought of it as a sort of "male bulimia" where I binge and purge in order to rid myself of those experiences over and over.  Like I said, I think its different for everyone but I think most crossdressers have felt the desperation you are feeling.

Hi DawnAlicia,desperation is exactly what I feel and I think until I come out to my family and friends  I will always feel that way.Alot has to do with the fear of being found out.

My answer is yes to both questions. Crossdressing is fun and exciting. It is also an expression of my feminine side. I started crossdressing in my mid fifties. Perhaps it is a reason I never felt any guilt or shame about wearing women's clothing.  Society has always dictated how one should act but that is changing. We are dichotomies of more than one personality. Crossdressing allows me to be the person I really am.

Gennee

Hi Gennee,thanks for your response.I guess when you start doing something like crossdressing at 50 you don't feel shame or guilt because your doing it having thought about it.At 10 years old you don't know why your doing it ,all you know then is that you can't get caught by your parents ,siblings or friends or you'll catch hell for it.

Dominique1

Dominique,

From my own experience, the feelings of guilt I dealt with stemmed from the fact that I wasn't comfortable with my crossdressing side.  Later as I came to embrace my feminine side those feelings of guilt began to dissipate.  I think guilty feelings are directly related to how well you accept your "other" personality.  Now I am extremely comfortable as a crossdresser and it seems to make all the difference.  I think that as you mature as a crossdresser you'll find that the guilt begins to abate. 

Try to enjoy and embrace your inner woman and I believe you'll find contentment and you'll lose the guilt.

Hugs,

Sally   

Sally, thanks so much for those word of encouragement.
Dominique

For me, its a definite need to be fulfilled, and I know it is being fulfilled when I have fun, excitement, companionship of others who feel as I do, and a lof of other things.

Part of the "guilt" you feel is actually the good feeling of fulfillment, since it comes in a way that you and I and most other "boys" were taught was wrong.  "Why do I feel so great when I do something bad?"  I posted in my own thread a few days ago that recently I lost the feeling I was a "guy in a dress" when I put on my female clothing, and that it was a revelation that ALL the clothing in my closet is for me, and is appropriate for me to wear as I please.    As long as you don't upset the fashion police too badly, and are found guilty of bad taste, the little bit of guilty conscience is part of the fun.  I feel so great this must be bad!!!   Stuff and nonsense!!  Humph!!

hi

I have never felt guilty about my crossdressing. I have only being crossdressing for about a month now. When I put on one of my dresses and dunn the makeup I feel my femine side coming out and I embrace it.

What I can say it did take a while have the guts to dress for the first time, maybe that was guilt. But when I finally did it went all away.

So I say enjoy your dressing. anyways I am off to try on my new breast forms that have just arrived

byee

Noleen,thanks for your comments.i think the guilt comes from starting so young, around 10 years old for me.At 10 you know your a boy and you don't know anything about sex or sexuality so when you find yourself trying on your sisters clothes "and by the way this is all done in secret"you feel stupid ,ashamed and guilty.Well thats the way I felt I know everybody's different.
bye Noleen.
Dominique

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Post Merge: February 07, 2009, 09:12:01 AM

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Hi Vicky,sorry I didn't respond sooner.Funny thing is now that I have been ''found out''the guilt is gone and I can dress and finally let the girl inside me out,it feels wondrful.

Thanks Dominique1

I probably depends on the individual. Myself, after a few days I start getting cranky and irritable from withdrawals. Since there are no meds for my condition the only solution is to continue. For me it's a must. There is probably a term for this condition. If not I'll create one. Oh, I know. It's AFDS.     AutoFeminizationDependencySyndrome   Genevieve

Is having a clean/organized living space a need?

Is leisure time away from work a need?

Is getting outside of your jail cell to see the sun a need?

Is Freedom a need?

Depends on your definition of need.  You won't die if you don't crossdress, but odds are that you'll become depressed if you don't, just like the above 3 examples.

The "need" is a psychological need to express the human soul.  To deny it has consequences.

question really is, can you live with those consequences

Ashling, A therapist told me once that most people have basic needs: Food, water, shelter and validation. I wondered what she meant by validation. We want others to accept us and also to accept ones own self. An example of validation is young people who join gangs. Crossdressing is  my way of being a more complete person. One I am comfortable with. My own selfish way of validating a part of me without the need for  approval from others. Of course the validation theory was conceived by a psychologist. Psychologists will be the first to agree that they never agree on anything.

I think cross dressing might also fall under one of Maslow's upper blocks in his Pyramid.

I have heard of Maslow. I wll google that. I find pschology interesting since it is an unknown science. We probably know more about mars than each other.

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Post Merge: February 26, 2009, 05:31:38 AM

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Chrysalis, You are correct. Abraham Maslow: A theory of human motivation 1943.It does not specify crossdressing but I would place that in my pyramid. He mentions excretion as one of the needs. I forgot about that. Ain't that some ****?

Ashling, you are right when you say that there would be consequences if certain needs go unfulfilled.I know that I can't stop dressing up,I cannot imagine not being able to cd.
Dominique1