Sometimes I'm really jealous of you guys.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,55004.msg344466/topicseen.html#msg344466

I wish it were possible for me to find peace in my own body as you have, without having to resort to drastic measures.
But, it's just not possible.

Quote from: Nero on February 08, 2009, 05:47:58 PM
Sometimes I'm really jealous of you guys.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,55004.msg344466/topicseen.html#msg344466

I wish it were possible for me to find peace in my own body as you have, without having to resort to drastic measures.
But, it's just not possible.

I don't know that I've found peace in my body either. And yes, I totally agree about not wanting to go through such drastic measures. I'm fine being neither binary gender, but I also know what the body of my dreams looks like, and it ain't the male body I have.

hugs,

Z

Oh Nero

I'm not really at peace with my body either, at least not completely (no one ever is) but I don't see how you can envy us, except maybe for the sort of whimsical, devil-may-care kind of attitude most of us seem to have in regards to our gender.

I'm still trying to develop that outlook though, it's so difficult, I guess I'm jealous of my fellow unicorns too!

I always wanted to be someone like myself when I was in my teens. Now I discover I am that very person. Sometimes things are not so good on the inside.

I hope you find your peace Nero king.

If we didn't need doctors and dentists, there'd be less stress in the world. On the other hand, you could be having breasts removed for cancer. I've had root canals--not too bad. And had a small cancerous growth on my head burned off. It was the smell that was worst. Last year, I had an enlarged prostate that was threatening to destroy my kidneys, so the surgeon performed an operation he called reaming out the penis. I was unconscious for the procedure, and recovered quickly with no complications--far easier than the catheter I wore for weeks before.

I avoid doctors and don't like shots or pills. Still if I could look like your old picture, Nero, your celestial majesty, and not lose the relationships I've spent a lifetime building, I think I would jump at the opportunity.

You've had a hard row to hoe thus far; I would hope transition would be less difficult. I wish I could stand by you and hold your hand while you get each shot, as I've held my daughter's hand for so many of the shots she's had trying to fight migraines. Just give us blow by blow reports and I, for one, will do my best to stand by. I sure other unicorns feel similar. Maybe Pica can tell how one keeps a stiff upper lip.

I curtsey to your royal presence and drink to your daring and bravery,
S

*hugs*

I don't know that we've found peace so much as we've accepted that there is no body for us to aspire to.  If you think of it in terms that we can either accept the body we have or change to the other sex, which is just the flip side of the same coin, we don't really have much choice. 

Actually, in this sort of situation, it's easier for me to not have a choice.

Quote from: Jaimey on February 08, 2009, 09:28:52 PM
*hugs*

I don't know that we've found peace so much as we've accepted that there is no body for us to aspire to.  If you think of it in terms that we can either accept the body we have or change to the other sex, which is just the flip side of the same coin, we don't really have much choice. 

Actually, in this sort of situation, it's easier for me to not have a choice.

I agree with this, there is no option available to an androgyne to "fix" us. I know that doesn't make you feel any better, but its not always better on this side of the fence either. I'm sorry that you are feeling this way, nero, and I hope you find some peace on this issue.

Quote from: Simone Louise on February 08, 2009, 09:15:24 PM
If we didn't need doctors and dentists, there'd be less stress in the world. On the other hand, you could be having breasts removed for cancer. I've had root canals--not too bad. And had a small cancerous growth on my head burned off. It was the smell that was worst. Last year, I had an enlarged prostate that was threatening to destroy my kidneys, so the surgeon performed an operation he called reaming out the penis. I was unconscious for the procedure, and recovered quickly with no complications--far easier than the catheter I wore for weeks before.

I'll thank you to never speak of such things again.           


Nero,

I think the ambiguity I feel about my body is present in how I relate to the world.  Everything is ambiguous to me. 

At least you have certainty in what you want.  I guess it's not worth the pain, though.

Quote from: Rebis on February 08, 2009, 10:04:28 PM

Quote from: Simone Louise on February 08, 2009, 09:15:24 PM
If we didn't need doctors and dentists, there'd be less stress in the world. On the other hand, you could be having breasts removed for cancer. I've had root canals--not too bad. And had a small cancerous growth on my head burned off. It was the smell that was worst. Last year, I had an enlarged prostate that was threatening to destroy my kidneys, so the surgeon performed an operation he called reaming out the penis. I was unconscious for the procedure, and recovered quickly with no complications--far easier than the catheter I wore for weeks before.

I'll thank you to never speak of such things again.           

I'll second that request...ouch


And Nero,
Your moobs will look better with hair...and even more normal with a big ol' beer belly.  (Don't forget the food stains drizzled down the front of your 4-sizes-too-small T-shirt).  So, rather than surgery, enjoy a couple of burgers and a 12-pack of Bud (or other non-sissy adult beverage) 3 or 4 times per day...soon, your dunlap will be properly in place and you can begin to feel normal.

P.S.  Don't forget to scratch

Seriously, I hope things become better as you move further along your journey.

.....Laurry

As usual, Jaimey says my thoughts better than I do.

Quote from: Jaimey on February 08, 2009, 09:28:52 PM
*hugs*

I don't know that we've found peace so much as we've accepted that there is no body for us to aspire to.  If you think of it in terms that we can either accept the body we have or change to the other sex, which is just the flip side of the same coin, we don't really have much choice. 

Actually, in this sort of situation, it's easier for me to not have a choice.

Then of course there are the unicorns who do need to undergo drastic surgery, to become types of people who have never actually been born.

As for stiff upper lips, it's all about thinking about what really matters, Our connections with others.

What? Haven't you male-bodied androgynes seen the ubiquitous ads for Flomax. According to Wikipedia, prostate growth begins at age 30, and 45% of men age 46 will experience symptoms within 30 years, if they live that long.

"For many men, FLOMAX reduces male urinary symptoms due to BPH in one week. If you are experiencing male urinary symptoms due to BPH (also known as an enlarged prostate), you may wake up several times during the night, have problems with urinating too often, or frequently feel an urgent need to go. The fact is, male urinary symptoms due to BPH are quite common—but you can do something about them by talking to your doctor."

I have only taken one Flomax pill. I fainted in the bathroom, and the following morning, I blacked out on the way home from work, totaling my car (one car accident). The operation had no side-effects and took care of the problem forever. I, too, didn't want to think about it beforehand, but, in retrospect, and quite thankful.

I skipped through the warehouse on my way out of work this morning. I love being active and intend to do so as long as I can. My foster son told me years later, the best advice I gave him was: We need to learn to sacrifice present pleasure for future profit.

You can uncross your legs now,
S

I am going to wish my prostate away.  I already had issues in my twenties with prostatitis.  Not surgical, though.

Quote from: Simone Louise on February 09, 2009, 03:29:29 PM
We need to learn to sacrifice present pleasure for future profit.

Never!

Nero, I'm not at peace with my body. I have no choice but to live with it as-is, because I can't afford to do anything about it. It's not so much that I'm sacrificing present pleasure for future profit. No. It's that I have to secure food, shelter, clothing, and basic healthcare now. Those things, for me, trump my body dysphoria.

Even then, as I've mentioned before, I'm not really sure how I could transition to what would be truly "me."

I find no comfort in my body and there seems to be no acceptable path to go for me to be the true me physicaly. Its hard when your only examples of how you see yourself are "freak show" performers

Quote from: Nero on February 08, 2009, 05:47:58 PM
I wish it were possible for me to find peace in my own body as you have, without having to resort to drastic measures.

Not all of us have.