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Children

Started by Scratchy Wilson, February 17, 2009, 09:53:31 PM

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Scratchy Wilson

So I know there's a couple guys on here who already have kids, but I just wanted to know how everyone else felt about having children. I only date straight girls, and although I'm not at an age or a position to settle down, my girlfriend really wants kids one day and it got me thinking. I'm not sure if she's my "life partner" or whatever, but I'd like her to be. I don't know, sometimes I just feel inadequate because I know I can't have kids and I know of bio guys who have had relationship trouble because of being sterile. It just kind of sucks knowing that I can't have kids, you know? Not necesserely because "I wanna be a daddy," but more because of the issues it may cause with the woman/future women I want to be with. Thoughts? Input?
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Lachlann

I'd want a kid someday. When I'm fully adjusted with transition and with someone that is.

Saving my eggs, my gf said something that they can turn an egg into a sperm? Either way, I'll have something just in case.
Don't be scared to fly alone, find a path that is your own
Love will open every door it's in your hands, the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know, all the answers will unfold
What are you waiting for, spread your wings and soar
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Dante

Well, when I'm WAY older and have transitioned, I wish that I could have kids. It seems that I would like to be able to have a kid (I would never give birth to one; the idea has me cringing), so I might adopt or something when the time comes. Although, I agree about maybe having dating problems since we're all sterile. That could be a big problem.





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jet3

I want kids.  I think it would be awesome to be a dad.  My fiance wants to have kids now, but we have decided to wait for a couple years.  I want to be able to give my kids everything, so it's important to me to be finacially stable and have a good carrer (which I'm working on).  We've talked about a lot of different ways to go about it.  She has said lots of times that she wants to use my eggs, but i've heard to do that they have to pump you full of E, and I don't want anymore of that than I already have.  I think we know what we're going to do but when the time gets a little closer we'll decide for sure.
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Scratchy Wilson

Quote from: Monty on February 17, 2009, 10:04:16 PM
I'd want a kid someday. When I'm fully adjusted with transition and with someone that is.

Saving my eggs, my gf said something that they can turn an egg into a sperm? Either way, I'll have something just in case.

Nope, can't turn it into a sperm. You can take the nucleus out of it and put it in one her eggs tho, but that's technically considered cloning which isn't legal for humans. I'd be totally down to have a clown of myself  :P
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Luc

It's funny, because I was actually considering posting a thread just like this. I've been thinking A TON about having kids lately. Every time I watch a movie or TV show where people have kids, I almost cry... yeah, that could be the fact I'm off T right now. But really, I want kids. I love kids. I want to be a dad, no question.

I'm 26, which makes me feel like I'm at death's door (like 30 is just around the corner), and I'm starting to believe that whole theory about one's biological clock ticking. Honestly, it's gotten so bad that I watched the TLC special on Thomas Beatie (the "pregnant man"), and wanted to be him. Now, rationally, there's no way I'm going through pregnancy... I think. And yet, that would be the easiest way. I'm ftm, my wife is mtf, and neither of us has killed our reproductive organs, so it's quite possible for us to have children of our own... it would just be a massive sacrifice for me.

Really, I'd be happy enough adopting. However, my wife wants our own genetic offspring. She is awaiting funds for sperm storage so she can get back on hrt, and I assume my eggs will be fine regardless of how much T I take... it would just be a matter of harvesting them when the time comes for surrogacy, or if I decide I really want to bite the bullet and bear kids of my own. I have no problem being a "pregnant man" in terms of social exposure; really, I'm just afraid of what it would do to my body. Thomas Beatie is one brave motherf***er, in my opinion.

SD
"If you want to criticize my methods, fine. But you can keep your snide remarks to yourself, and while you're at it, stop criticizing my methods!"

Check out my blog at http://hormonaldivide.blogspot.com
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sneakersjay

I'm older and already have kids, and have had a hysto.  So... no more bio kids for me.  But I have thought about it if I meet someone young enough to have kids and we decide to have kids of our own...I guess I'd use a sperm donor and might consider asking a blood relative to donate (he has no kids of his own) to keep the family line; if not an anonymous donor.  I'd be interested in being a dad.

Bottom line it's doable if you really want it; just as regular couples who have trouble conceiving the usual way.

Jay


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Jeatyn

I can't get pregnant anyway so I've already come to terms with the idea. I would like a kid eventually I think, not sure. If I suddenly spontaneously had a child now I would be happy but I'm not sure I want one enough to go through the whole process of adopting. Maybe some day.
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Northern Jane

I am on the other side of the fence but the whole issue of having children was MAJOR for me when I was young and would have been a great impediment to transition if  I had been fertile.

I had ALL the instincts and desires and loved children. If I had the chance to be mother, I would have jumped at it! If I had the chance to be father, I would have had to think long and hard about it because I knew I was not going to live very long in "guy mode" (this was before SRS was possible).

It is fortunate (in a way) that that was all taken out of my hands. I knew by 15 that I was likely to be infertile but that never stopped me from wanting children in the worst way. Unfortunately, life never went in that direction for me.
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Jay

Quote from: Monty on February 17, 2009, 10:04:16 PM
my gf said something that they can turn an egg into a sperm?

Umm I dont think so..


Yeah sure I would like kids but if I am with a partner who I love who doesn't want kids it wont be that bigger issue. Its not that bigger deal for me at this moment in time. I haven't frozen any eggs. And being daddy doesn't really bother me.


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Lutin

I'm sorry you never got to be a parent, Northern Jane. I think the only thing worse than not wanting children and having them would be wanting to have them and not actually be able to. :-\

I've been thinking about kids a lot recently too, for some bizarre reason. I don't know, I think I'd love to be a dad - I can sort of imagine me being a dad - but I don't want to get pregnant myself. I certainly don't want to decide to not transition and eventually marry and become a mum. I just can't see me doing that at all. But being a father...I love kids, and I would love to be their dad. Ahhhh... ^-^ I've even imagined my brother getting married and having kids and he and his wife (whomever she may be) letting me look after them a lot of the time. That would be great, too. If I couldn't be a dad, being an uncle would be a pretty awesome runner-up.

Will
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Linus

There was a story that did talk about women-only conceiving children. I did a little search and found the following:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-511391/Death-father-British-scientists-discover-turn-womens-bone-marrow-sperm.html

http://www.lifenews.com/bio1037.html

The science is there..

That said, I do want to be a dad. I have no problem with a donor or adoption since as far as I'm concerned they'd all be blood related. It's interesting that I had never contemplated being a parent until I started transitioning. I feel more in control of myself and confident enough to be a better parent now than I did before. Most profound to me.
My Personal Blog: http://www.syrlinus.com
My Cigar Blog: http://www.cigarnewbie.com
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fluffy jorgen

Couldn't mess up my life more if I tried. ;D
For this reason I would've loved to have been a teenage parent but I kind of nearly passed that stage now. :)

Regardless of what gender I was/ am/ will be, I'd love to be a part of something that big.
Even if it meant doing it all in the dark and using the thingy down below. :)
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Lachlann

Quote from: Linus on February 18, 2009, 10:16:28 AM
There was a story that did talk about women-only conceiving children. I did a little search and found the following:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-511391/Death-father-British-scientists-discover-turn-womens-bone-marrow-sperm.html

http://www.lifenews.com/bio1037.html

The science is there..

That said, I do want to be a dad. I have no problem with a donor or adoption since as far as I'm concerned they'd all be blood related. It's interesting that I had never contemplated being a parent until I started transitioning. I feel more in control of myself and confident enough to be a better parent now than I did before. Most profound to me.
The science is definitely there and I wouldn't say it's impossible just yet. Is it shaky right now? Yes, but all things are in the beginning. They can build heart muscle tissue with stem cells and I wouldn't be surprised at what else they can do. A legality issue might come up, most likely, but there are people who are unable to have children who aren't trans, so I think there's more hope for this than there is at first glance.
(If you're curious about the heart stuff: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/02/090212161808.htm )


I wouldn't mind adopting at all but the adoption process isn't as easy and you're lead to believe. You can't waltz in and just grab a kid, you have to meet the requirements. I'm sure most who want kids here want someone with their own flesh and blood like stated before, which is natural. But giving another kid a chance is a great thing to do as well. However, I think you'd have to be prepared that the kid will probably have some emotional baggage going on.
Don't be scared to fly alone, find a path that is your own
Love will open every door it's in your hands, the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know, all the answers will unfold
What are you waiting for, spread your wings and soar
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Linus

Quote from: Monty on February 18, 2009, 01:09:48 PM
The science is definitely there and I wouldn't say it's impossible just yet. Is it shaky right now? Yes, but all things are in the beginning. They can build heart muscle tissue with stem cells and I wouldn't be surprised at what else they can do. A legality issue might come up, most likely, but there are people who are unable to have children who aren't trans, so I think there's more hope for this than there is at first glance.
(If you're curious about the heart stuff: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/02/090212161808.htm )


I wouldn't mind adopting at all but the adoption process isn't as easy and you're lead to believe. You can't waltz in and just grab a kid, you have to meet the requirements. I'm sure most who want kids here want someone with their own flesh and blood like stated before, which is natural. But giving another kid a chance is a great thing to do as well. However, I think you'd have to be prepared that the kid will probably have some emotional baggage going on.

Oh ya. That I'm aware of. A friend of mine, a lesbian in her mid-60s, is a foster mom to LGBTQ girls (all cis-gender last I heard). Now, she's in Ontario, which has a more open policy about the LGBTQ being foster parents as well as adoptive parents. Since my g/f and I have talked about moving back to Ontario to raise kids (I'm sorry but unless the US Health system changes, we're going back because having a kid here would put me and my generations behind in debt so bad... :P ). So we'll likely be foster and adoptive parents to LGBTQ, specifically keeping our doors open for trans kids.
My Personal Blog: http://www.syrlinus.com
My Cigar Blog: http://www.cigarnewbie.com
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Mister

QuoteI assume my eggs will be fine regardless of how much T I take.

That's kind of a risky statement when your future kid is at stake, isn't it?
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Mr. Fox

I want a child (or two) at some point, but don't care much about whether they are my own flesh and blood.  This is good because I'm not going to freeze my eggs (expensive!), and I definately don't want to give birth.  I'm not too worried about a spouse wanting biological children.  If I even get married (leaning towards no, but falling in love could change my mind), he or she can get pregnant or impregnate someone else if they want their own biological children.
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JonasCarminis

ive always wanted kids and still do.  funny thing is, even before i was out to myself i knew i didnt want anything popping out of there and always planned on adopting. :P

i think being a foster parent might be kindof neat.
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Luc

Quote from: Mister on February 18, 2009, 02:10:22 PM
That's kind of a risky statement when your future kid is at stake, isn't it?


I've never seen any evidence that eggs die from exposure to testosterone. Thomas Beatie didn't have any problem... and he was on T for at least 10-15 years prior to becoming pregnant. I have no money for T, even, so egg storage is nowhere near a possibility.

SD
"If you want to criticize my methods, fine. But you can keep your snide remarks to yourself, and while you're at it, stop criticizing my methods!"

Check out my blog at http://hormonaldivide.blogspot.com
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J.T.

i've never understood the desire to have biological children.  there are kids out there waiting for homes.

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