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Young person just looking for direction.

Started by nehow3@yahoo.com, February 23, 2009, 02:27:28 AM

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nehow3@yahoo.com

Well, I turned 18 last July, and at this point in my life I'm starting to notice some really distressing signs of growth, and 'filling out' for males....and being an amateur actor and perfectionist ???....if there is nothing I can do about growing then I would rather cultivate my male image than chase my passion for androgyny.

The only problem is I've been with women and men, and God :o I loved being with men so much more (submissive ::)).  I've put a lot of work into androgyny like body language, cosmetology, sex, and even playing a girl in a play once (which was really fun), but it all seems like a waste with these new signs of growth.

Being 18 (almost 19) I shot up to about 5'9" which is pretty uncomfortable, and I'm getting noticeable facial hair, to the point where I have to shave every few days to keep it away.  Is there anything I can do to prevent any more growth? (Other than hormones, I don't want to do anything like that)  Would maybe becoming vegan, and maybe a bit undernourished (avoiding B vitamins, zinc, and too much protein) help me in my efforts?


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Jaimey

I don't have too much advice, but as for your height, don't worry too much.  I know several girls who are 6' barefooted and even more who are 5'9" +.

I have heard that certain foods...mainly soy, I think, can feminize your body a bit.

But honestly, don't let your body hinder you.  You are who you are and if you try to change that, it's basically like suffocation.  It's better to do what you want and be confident in it, even if you feel like your body isn't cooperating.  If you are confident and secure with yourself, other people will be at ease with you too.  :)
If curiosity really killed the cat, I'd already be dead. :laugh:

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these." GWC
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JonasCarminis

i suggest lazer treatments if youre looking for long term.  possibly epilatory poweders or creams for short term if they dont irritate your skin.  maybe even that smooth away pad thing.
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nehow3@yahoo.com

18 years old.  Birthday is July 18th.  Just recently having to actually shave to prevent scruff (other than sideburns, those have been growing for a while).  How much growing do you think is left?

I've heard many different explanations with growth.  I know in younger development ages 14,15 a vegan diet can really do wonders against the onslaught of puberty, but I'm not exactly sure what age someone really stops growing.  I've heard things from like when you start having to really shave, to the age of 18+19.  Google answers of course vary.
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ZaidaZadkiel

so you want to present as male, but are you androgynous, mentally ?
there are many manly gays out there. I.e., guys who cultivate their guy looks in order to attract guys who like how guys looks. Guys guys etc.

Otoh, there's the "sissy" guys, for whom I don't know a better word, I apologize.
These are the very effeminate kind of guy who either cultivate their fem side oder cultivate their male side in an effeminate manner.

About hair, well. Idk, I'm not very hairy, thank heaven. but I've been wondering if I should do anything like lasers or something.

I've heard that meditation can somehow help, but I don't know the specific... something like, you tell your body to stop growing hair and it'll obey or some such. But that's not very western science lover thinking, so YMMV.
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Nicky

I think it would be unwise to try and 'stunt' your growth through not eating properly. If you manged it you will probably end up stuffing up your own health because of the extremes you will need to go. Doing this sort of thing could be bad for your eyesight, bad for you brain, bad for your bones, bad for your joints, bad for you heart, bad for most of your vital organs, impotence, bad for you teeth.

There are better options than trying to stunt your growth through diet (which probably won't have any affect on your hair anyway). For example you could do exersise that creates lean muscle and you could get elctrolysis or laser on your facial and body hair. You might have to face it that you are getting older and with that comes more body hair and more flesh. If it is that hard to deal with then I would suggest talking to a therapist or counsellor about it.
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nehow3@yahoo.com

I'm not too much worried about hair at all.  It's really just height....I hate feeling so tall.

Is cultivating your male image and parting with your youthful looks in exchange for the success of androgyny not an effective way to face growing up?  If there's 'no other choice', then what else can you do? 
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Nicky

Your main worry is the height? You don't sound all that tall. Do you you think that there is a possibility that perhaps your perception on the matter does not reflect reality? I'm about 5'9, most guys seem to be taller.

What it comes down to is what do you want and what can you live with, and what you can do to change what you have. If you want to cultivate a male image do that. If you want to cultivate a androgynous image do that. Beyond hormonal changes the rest is mostly window dressing anyway.

You don't have much of a choice regarding height, so yeah, there is pretty much nothing else you can do. You can learn to live with it just like everyone else. There are ways to play down your height or take advantage of it, but beyond that you don't have a lot of choice in the matter.



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Jaimey

We finish growing completely around age 25, generally, although I would imagine you're mostly done already.  It seems like male bodied people have their biggest growth spurts in the mid teens (female bodied people tend to be earlier), so I would imagine that any major growth spurts are probably over for you.  But, like I said, I know lots of girls who are 5'9" plus, so don't worry too much about that.
If curiosity really killed the cat, I'd already be dead. :laugh:

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these." GWC
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Pica Pica

If you're growing, looks like the direction you are going is up. Nothing you can do, might as well enjoy it and smugly put things on higher shelves.

I am myself an amateur actor and have played a number of women. When I was 17 I played a schoolgirl in a pinafore dress and it wasn't until I opened my mouth that the people you didn't know me realised I was a male. When I was 20 I played a goddess largely because of my matronly girth, now I am approaching 24 (also in July) and I have to shave twice a day, my face has lengthened and bizarrely my sideburns have started to curl...and I like it. I feel like I am finally growing into my body. Maybe you will feel the same.
'For the circle may be squared with rising and swelling.' Kit Smart
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Genevieve Swann

Jaimey is right about the time we stop growing. I grew an inch btween the age of 20 and 21. The facial hair kept getting worse for another five years. I'm afraid there is no turning back time and aging. Wish there was. Genevieve

Jaimey

Quote from: Genevieve Swann on February 25, 2009, 12:50:34 PM
I grew an inch btween the age of 20 and 21.

I grew an inch to an inch and a half between 12 and 25.  Puberty is weird.
If curiosity really killed the cat, I'd already be dead. :laugh:

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these." GWC
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Simone Louise

I grew my last inch (to 5'8") my first year of college. On the other hand, within the last decade I've lost an inch and a half in height, possibly due to the weight of heavy UPS packages. I'd gotten used to being sixty-eight inches, and the worst of it is that my ideal weight, according to my doctor, declines as I lose height. My ideal weight has become an impossible dream.

S
Choose life.
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Nicky

Quote from: Simone Louise on February 25, 2009, 05:02:48 PM
My ideal weight has become an impossible dream.

S

I don't blame you. Sounds like you are a good cook and it is difficult to be a good cook if you are not into food. The best thing I ever learnt about being a cook is to always prepare yourself a 'chefs treat'. I think it was Nigella that said it. Like a little tasty morsel - a crunchy piece of fat. I love eating the garlic I put inside chicken when I roast it, or the brown scrum in the roasting pan.. delicously bad...
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