My dear Cindy, you live in Australia but have not been warned of the dangers posed by drop bears??!!!
They are the most
terrifying creatures this fine, rather dry land has (but the media doesn't like to publicise them too much, in case they scare off the tourists).
They look exactly like koalas, but instead of being small and cuddly, they're about 1.5-2 metres tall with 2-feet-long claws on each paw, and have 3-inch-long, blood-dripping fangs. As the name "drop bear" suggests, they are an ambush predator, and wait in the treetops until an unwary person stands too long underneath. (Rumour has it that they also have anal teeth to make the attack even more lethal, though I can't confirm this point). They then DROP onto the person, either tearing out their jugular with aforementioned fangs, or squashing them flat.
There *are*, however, methods to avoid these
vicious drop bear attacks. One of the most common methods is to smear vegemite on you. Behind the ears works well, though all over your face should do the trick too (if you're paranoid, in your armpits is meant to work as well, though, for the truly terrified, a full vegemite bath is sure to work). Probably the best method, though, is to mix vegemite and urine together, 1 part vegemite to 2 parts urine (the older and smellier the urine, the better). Works a treat, they won't come anywhere near you.
