All right, so I've been doing some thinking (you'll find I change my mind a lot...I apologize ).  I may consider T.  Still don't know if I could handle top surgery...I get a little squeamish just thinking about it (I REALLY need to do something about that...it's starting to annoy me).

Anyway, here are some of my questions.

1.) Is T available in pill form?  Because I REALLY don't think I could do shots.  I can't imagine letting myself pass out until I got used to it.

2.) Is it possible to take a smaller amount than would normally be described?  For example, if I just wanted to be slightly more masculine.  2 reasons: 1.) I come from a hairy people and I already have to deal with body hair issues...particularly facial hair (I don't want to look like a bear...my dad totally does) and 2.) I don't want a super deep voice.  My voice is pretty deep for a woman and most of the men in my family have deep, deep voices.  In fact, my 14 year old brother's voice is so deep that he never went through that squeaky phase.  I would like a nice tenor, maybe a little androgynous.  I still sound female, just with a deep voice.

Also, how does it affect your singing voice?  I love to sing and I have a pretty large range...that's probably the main thing that makes me shy away from T.  It would be a little sad for me if I couldn't sing as well afterward. 

I think that's all I had.  At least for the moment. 

Oh yeah...how does it change your face?  I understand feminizing a male face...how do you masculinize (<--???) a female face?

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1.) Is T available in pill form?  Because I REALLY don't think I could do shots.  I can't imagine letting myself pass out until I got used to it.

yep u can get it in pills. shots. patches & gel. dunno anybody that's on the pill. the dudes I know r on the gel or the shots.  I'm on the shots.

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2.) Is it possible to take a smaller amount than would normally be described? 

some endos will get u start it w/a small dose & then give u the real deal. if u dont want the full dose u gotta talk 2 ur endo.

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Also, how does it affect your singing voice?  I love to sing and I have a pretty large range...that's probably the main thing that makes me shy away from T.  It would be a little sad for me if I couldn't sing as well afterward.

I aint a singer but cant sing like a girl no more  ur voice's gonna change & thats all there's 2 it. it can take longer 2 break w/asmall dose but its gonna.

1. What Chris said. I don't know if the newer pills put a strain on the liver, but the older ones did.

2. A small dose doesn't affect how much you masculinize, it affects how long it takes. Your voice will change to what it's going to change to regardless of the size of the dose.

3. A lot of us haven't had a problem with our singing voices. There's a video linked in the Just for Us section of one of our members singing, and I have an outstanding request for a recording (and a voice recorder that isn't working for some reason). I sing in an auditioned small group, for which I have to re-audition every year and have made the auditions each time. We perform on microphones, often a cappella, and I haven't heard any complaints yet.

4. There are also a lot of before, during and after threads in Just for Us. I've made one, I think sneakersjay's made one, and some others have made one. That'll give you an idea of what masculinization does. It's rearranging body fat, makes the skin more coarse, and perhaps jaw muscles more prominent, making the jaw look more square.

Dennis

Thanks, guys, that gives me some things to think about. 

Jaimey, aside from all the written information that I looked up, probably the most helpful was watching video blogs of people on youtube.

There is quite a big community of FTMs on there from various backgrounds, orientations and needs. A lot of the blogs are geared toward people going through transition, documenting their T shots and whatnot. What helped me was watching someone go through those changes and watching not only the physical changes but the emotional ones they went through as well. That's information that you can't really write down unless it's a journal, but it's a good idea to go and check out how everyone else has reacted to it.

Quote from: Dennis on March 19, 2009, 08:32:23 AM
2. A small dose doesn't affect how much you masculinize, it affects how long it takes. Your voice will change to what it's going to change to regardless of the size of the dose.

What about the other effects?

I've gotten my first few shots from a nurse. I've had three different nurses so far, and not a single injection has bothered me. I have a low pain threshold, but I barely feel the poke--it's like the lightest little pinprick. And I'm not exaggerating.

I don't know how long it takes to learn to inject someone that painlessly. I imagine that self-injecting will not be so pleasant. There might be a rather steep learning curve.

You might consider injections; but if you want autonomy, you'll have to do your own. And it sounds like that's not a great option for you. Maybe you should look into gel.

Whilst blood and pain in general don't bother me, I had reservations about injecting. its mostly the concept of 'putting something in' rather than just the stab.

In all my experience however, I've barely felt the needles. Getting it in the butt was effortless, didn't feel a thing. I learnt to self inject in the thigh, and though I notice the needles presence, it doesn't hurt at all. That being said, I know another ftm who finds it hurts to get it done in the leg so it appears to be a case by cases basis.

Basically, do it fast and the needle should slide in painlessly. I've only ever felt the jab on my second self-injection, where I went too slow. Sorry if this doesn't help you, sometimes ya just gotta bite the bullet when you get there. Its nowhere near as painful as monthly cramps!

you can always use the gel or cream if you dont want to inject.

Quote from: Asher on March 19, 2009, 08:06:08 PM
What about the other effects?

Same. Size of dose only affects how long it takes. You can't pick and choose among effects of T.

Dennis

Quote1.) Is T available in pill form?  Because I REALLY don't think I could do shots.  I can't imagine letting myself pass out until I got used to it.

I was on oral T (Andriol)for a little while before transferring to the shots because I was nervous about injectible T too. i had my first 3 weeks ago, i'll have my second tomorrow.
Iwas so nervous but it's a cakewalk my partner does it for me, I don't feel a damm thing, I have him inject me in the butt :laugh:so I don't even see it and I lay on my front and put on a video I enjoy

Andriol is a newer form of oral T which doesn't harm the liver unlike the old c17 alkylated testosterone pills.
It's totally safe but the drawback is it's expensive, very especially at the dosage you would need to take to keep a constant supply of T in your system as it has a very short half life (I had to take a pill every four hours even when I was supposed to be asleep).

It's a nightmare  ::)plus you always have to take it with food and studies have shown the amount of T released in your body with Andriol really varies wildly with each pill. I mean one time it could be 5mg the next it could be 50mg so there is really no way to know how much you are getting.

So altho it is safe and it does work if you take it continuosly in my opinion it's not worth it when shots are such a breeze, way cheaper and so much more effective...

You all are so manly.

Keep taking the T.

This has been very helpful!  Thanks, guys!

It's really got me thinking about transition.  Mainly, I'm wondering I'm considering transition because I want to change my body or if I'm considering it because the only way society will see me as male (or even not female) is if I look male.  Many, many things to ponder. 

Quote from: Jaimey on March 20, 2009, 11:37:51 PM
It's really got me thinking about transition.  Mainly, I'm wondering I'm considering transition because I want to change my body or if I'm considering it because the only way society will see me as male (or even not female) is if I look male.  Many, many things to ponder. 

My best buddy once asked me whether I would still want to change my body even if everyone saw me as male in my current body.

Impossible question. Too hypothetical. The link we make between physicality and sex/gender is simply too strong for us to imagine such a disconnect.

But I was thinking: in such a society, I already wouldn't have such disgust over my body. In such a world, I would probably never consider transition. In such a world, transsexuals probably wouldn't even exist.

The whole issue would be moot.

In short, I'm not sure how valuable such a question is.

Ask away if you think it will help. But I have to say that it never helped me.

Sending anti-headache vibes...

Quote from: Dennis on March 20, 2009, 09:25:13 AM

Quote from: asherWhat about the other effects?

Same. Size of dose only affects how long it takes. You can't pick and choose among effects of T.

Dennis

x2   yep its gonna take longer 2 happen but its gonna. 

Quote from: Jaimey on March 20, 2009, 11:37:51 PMMainly, I'm wondering I'm considering transition because I want to change my body or if I'm considering it because the only way society will see me as male (or even not female) is if I look male.

Personally, before I went on T, I thought I was only going on it because I knew I couldn't be seen as male otherwise. That was the thing that finally made the decision for me, because though at 23, when I first started the path of transition, I passed perfectly as male, as months went by, I could see my face feminizing more and more, and I passed less and less. I didn't want to go through the pain of shots, nor the possible weird hormonal changes... none of it. I did it because I felt it was the only way.

However, after even just a month of T, I wondered why I hadn't gotten on it earlier. Not only did the physical changes make me feel incredible with the confidence they brought, but my bipolar symptoms were extremely lessened, PMDD gone due to lack of menstruation, and I felt calmer and more sure of myself overall. Getting on testosterone made me realize that all the doubts I might have had that I was just confused, that I wasn't male after all, were completely unfounded. It convinced me that my body was meant to run on testosterone, not estrogen, and I felt like all those things that had been wrong with me over the years had finally been corrected.

If you want the changes, but not necessarily all of them, go on T for awhile, if that's what you want. Body hair will lessen if you go off it, periods will come back, skin will soften, curves will return. You'll retain the lower voice and most facial hair (this is all my experience, having gone on and off a few times, though unintentionally). However, you might find yourself amazed at how you feel with the influence of testosterone... or you might not. If you're really that interested, though, it's worth checking out. Oh, and the shots are nervewracking, but really not painful, and simple enough to get past.

SD

Quote from: Jaimey on March 19, 2009, 03:27:55 AM1.) Is T available in pill form?  Because I REALLY don't think I could do shots.  I can't imagine letting myself pass out until I got used to it.

Androgel. I take testosterone in topical form. I just rub it on my belly. You can also use a patch.

Pill form will kill your liver.

Quote from: Jaimey on March 19, 2009, 03:27:55 AM2.) Is it possible to take a smaller amount than would normally be described?  For example, if I just wanted to be slightly more masculine.

That's not how testosterone works. Over time, you'll catch up. The only way to be slightly masculine is to start and then stop.

Quote from: Jaimey on March 19, 2009, 03:27:55 AMAlso, how does it affect your singing voice?

Yes. A lot.

Quote from: Jaimey on March 19, 2009, 03:27:55 AMOh yeah...how does it change your face?  I understand feminizing a male face...how do you masculinize (<--???) a female face?

Fat redistribution. The bones in the face do not change.

The bones in the face CAN change if they haven't been stopped to expand and grow by estrogen.

I've seen the most manly trans men who were once the most softy girls.

Quote from: Tanya1 on March 21, 2009, 07:33:24 PM
The bones in the face CAN change if they haven't been stopped to expand and grow by estrogen.

I've seen the most manly trans men who were once the most softy girls.

Most people don't start testosterone that young, though. Not even kids. They usually start you around 16.

Trust me, the bones DO change. There's no fat in the forehead, and my brow has become incredibly more pronounced than ever before. I can see where the bone has begun to jut out.... I wouldn't necessarily have believed it before, but it's happening right before my eyes. I'm 26, and I started T at 25. Apparently, the rules of bone growth don't apply to the skull.

SD