Hello, y'all. I hope it's ok for me to post here.

So I recently realized I'm much more "in the middle" than male, which has made me all kinds of confused.

As a female I was "gay". As a male I'm "gay". As an androgyne, I'm confused. -_- I know I like bio-males, and I identify more as male than anything, and I really don't want to give up being gay. But how can a guy be gay if he's not really a guy, if he's in the middle? I told my mom I figured out I like males, and she celebrated 'cause now she thinks I'm "straight". But I'm as crooked as can be! I'm in no way a chick, mom! *sigh*

I LIKE being gay. I was at my LGBTQ club at school the other day and I felt weird. I mean, the president's a lesbian, the VP's a gay male, and on Monday we got a couple new members, a really butch lesbian and a really effeminate gay guy, not to mention a couple of femm-ey girls who (I assume) are gay. We've even got an FTM in the club (my friend). And I looked at myself in this context and I just didn't fit! But I want to fit with this type of group. I don't want to be straight. I want to be as queer as can be. But I just don't fit, not even in the gayest place in school (BSC102 on Mondays at 2:30 =p).

Gah. I haven't been this confused since I was 12 years old. Anyone have any thoughts or similar experiences?

I don't have many thoughts, because I'm not particularly sexualised and so do not have very strong inclinations in any directions. I think women are the most aesthetically pleasing, but you talk aesthetics and you kill the mood a bit.

However I like the fact you know the exact time and place for the gayest place in school.

You sound rather pansexual, so I guess if you're not with the person you love, you can always love the person you're with

If you were gay for girls and you are now gay for guys, I say that makes you extra gay! 

Seriously, though, you do fit in that group.  I call myself a male identified androgyne.  And as far as attraction goes, we're exactly alike!  When I am attracted to a guy, in my mind it's a gay attraction.  And the only time I like women is when I am conscious of my female body.  Since I've been aware of sexuality, I've thought of myself as a gay male.  When I'm around gay men, I get a little self conscious about looking female and it makes me disappointed that they don't see me the way I want them to.

I'm glad it's not just me.    We can be extra gay together. 

I think you're just queer all around. Your identity's 'in the middle', so that definitely makes you GLBT regardless of who you're attracted to.

I'm extra queer too.  I think of it as GenderQueer^GenderQueer

Sorry if this is rude or whatever but, why is it so important for you to be queer?

I mean, you ARE queer, genderwise, anyway.

But you say you don't want to be strait. Why? It's not a crime, you know.

Quote from: Blueflare on March 25, 2009, 03:11:54 PM
Sorry if this is rude or whatever but, why is it so important for you to be queer?

I mean, you ARE queer, genderwise, anyway.

But you say you don't want to be strait. Why? It's not a crime, you know.

Well, it ought to be.   

I think I can relate,

When I was a student I flated with a lesbian couple. I was so jelous of them, partly because I was in love with one of them, but I so wanted to be gay and lesbian and queer. It was attractive and magical to me, like their love was somehow better than straight love. Then there is the gay community, visible, strong, active, vibrant. Maybe it was a rejection of a straight world, a feeling that I was not part of it.

As it turns out I am actually pretty queer. I like women and I have a male body, but I'm not straight. I don't think I am gay either though, the problem could be that there are no words to describe it. I want to be part of a visibly queer community.

me too.  I was briefly, but everyone went their own way.

Indeed, the Gay community is not necessarily the most tolerant of difference as many of us have experienced. Just today I was discussing an article with a friend is writing about prejudice against married Muslim lesbians from other lesbians who are privileged enough socially and/or economically to avoid marriage.

Transphobia is present in the Gay community and even right here here as numerous "locked" and deleted threads have shown.

I think it is hard to get away from. Almost all of us will be surrounded by messages that being trans or gay or queer is not a good thing and it is incredibly difficult not to have internalised some of these messages, maybe even impossible.

Most of us would probably feel a lot better if we did not have some internal phobias about what we are. I know myself that I have this fear that I will end up the 'ugly ->-bleeped-<-'. I know it is wrong to think this way, but I admit that I have internalised some transphobia.

spoiler: It doesn't matter who you are with, all it matters is what you do with them.

Quote from: ZaidaZadkiel on March 25, 2009, 06:55:17 PM
spoiler: It doesn't matter who you are with, all it matters is what you do with them.

or too them, or they to you 

Quote from: ZaidaZadkiel on March 25, 2009, 06:55:17 PM
spoiler: It doesn't matter who you are with, all it matters is what you do with them.

nah, that's bollocks,

mooching around a park with a friend is much more fun then mooching around with a parent's friend. Going to an art gallery with an art lover different to going around with an art hater.
I don't need to do anything to have a good time with my sister...other friends are only good company at more structured events.

yeah, doing stuff to your sister is kind of wrong  .

But I don't think that is what ZZ was talking about.

Hm. Other people's sisters are pretty fun to be around.

Hm. You wouldn't take a paraplegic to play basketball, would you ?
Why would you take an art-hater to an art-centric event ?

Maybe the art-hater is very much into talking about the philosophy of kettle design. Who knows, maybe something which is actually awesome.

I think everybody is / can be fun to be with. But we're too into what we want to not bother trying to dig out "the coolness" of other people.

Not everybody is awesome in the way you want. But almost everybody is awesome in one way, and those who aren't, poor them.

PS: If I am manking no sense it's because my head hurts.

Quote from: Blueflare on March 25, 2009, 03:11:54 PM
Sorry if this is rude or whatever but, why is it so important for you to be queer?

I mean, you ARE queer, genderwise, anyway.

But you say you don't want to be strait. Why? It's not a crime, you know.

It may be that because we don't really have a gender, we can't be straight?  We can't fit into that box because of our gender.    Also, I think that we just relate better to gay people of the opposite sex.  I've always gotten along better with gay men than any other group of people.

Quote from: Rebis on March 25, 2009, 02:21:17 PM
I'm extra queer too.  I think of it as GenderQueer^GenderQueer

Wow.    <3 for Rebs.

Quote from: Jaimey on March 25, 2009, 08:21:05 PM
...We can't fit into that box...

Why do you want to fit in a box ?

http://20.media.tumblr.com/qyuzOO6cGi3zmax4BvAWpG9go1_400.jpg

There's nothing wrong with being straight, per se, but it just ain't isn't me.

I like the idea of being extra gay, or genderqueer to the genderqueerth power.   

Jaimey, I guess I do tend to relate to gay guys pretty well. I had a friend in 7th-8th grades who was "bi" but later came out as gay, and we got along fantastically--maybe it's 'cause I was a gay guy too, and neither of us knew it. xp