Granted.  You are now laid off and expelled from school.  Start writing. 

I wish it would stop raining, snowing, blowing, and generally being terrible weather.

Janet

I hear ya there....

Granted, You'll soon be complaining it's too hot

I wish my hair would stop turning gray

Granted, it turns puke green instead. 

I wish homework was nonexistent.

((lol, no job and already not going to school. Lol))

Granted! But school gets longer.

Wish I could go to Findlay, Ohio. <3

Granted... But there are no road maps available for the town

I wish my lil' butt was even cuter than it is now

Granted.  You now have just the cutest wittle baby's bottom, and the legs to match.  Maybe you'll learn to walk next year.

I wish this thread would never end.

Granted, it'll go on forever, but you need to post your most embarrassing story for the world to see forever and ever.

I wish people would stop being so depressed.

granted, but now everyone is sickiningly happy.

I wish people would stop being dramatic. >.<

Granted...All the drama queens are now back up singers and will happily sing everything you think or say in chorus

I wish my boobs would grow two more cup sizes

Granted. As soon as they do, they become cancerous and fall off.

I wish the economy would straighten itself out.

Granted.  It is now the worst depression in history and it stay that way.

I wish that I had a lot better paying job.

Granted, your job pays better but that's because you work triple the hours.

I wish my stomach would make up its mind on if it's hungry or not.

granted, but you're going to be hungry and stay hungry.


wish I could become invisible at will.

Granted but becoming invisible makes you go blind and deaf aswell.

I wish this paint would freakin dry!

Granted... The paint will dry into a rather freakish glob. Then you'll become obsessed with adding more paint until no-one knows what it is you've painted.

I wish frozen dinners actually tasted like food

Granted. They taste like DISGUSTING food.  xD

I wish my brother would stop talking to me about D&D.

Granted, but now your brother talks to you constantly about World of Warcraft instead :p

I wish the outcome that Janet said 6 posts ago about a permanent depression actually happens...maybe then we'll all learn something and build a world worth living in.

Granted. Permanent depression across the globe. But not only economically. All the people are depressed too, so no one is motivated enough to actually try, so we all perish.

I wish I knew what I said when I talk in my sleep.

Granted, you stay awake so you know what you're saying at all times.

I wish I wasn't feeling sick.

Granted, now everyone around you is sick instead.

I wish I had a new wardrobe.