I found a psychologist in the area who's client base consists largely of transgendered people, which is great, she seems like someone who should be able to help me.  And that's as far as I've made it so far.  But some things are still hard.  I've only had one appointment with her, which is more of an appointment just to see what problems I'm having and work on a plan. One thing that's hard is having to wait and go sort of slow. I can't stand having to wait  a couple weeks between appointments, because I just want stuff to happen now

I'm sort of stressing myself out on having to wait to see her again too.  I want to take a testosterone blocker, and I want to get on it as soon as I can, so nothing more about me changes, so it can be easier for me too look feminine with my already somewhat feminine face. But I know I have to take it all slow.


But basically, I'm at one of the first steps.  Seeing someone, and figuring out what the hell I even want to do. It still confuses me sometimes though.  Hopefully it starts to make more sense soon.

Kai, you have made the first step and that's seeing a gender therapist, many have a very hard time doing that. If you feel you need weekly sessions and have the money or insurance covers it see if she can do weekly appointments. I did weekly appointments for 3-1/2 months and am now doing every other week unless i need one in between. I went to my therapist 3 months before getting the letter to start hrt. I know it's hard and you want things to get moving faster but this is not a race. I think as time goes on and you get farther into transition you will re-evaluate and slow some things down like i did.

HUGS
Paula.

Well I don't want to start hormone therapy soon, I know that's a big decision and takes time.  I wouldn't mind taking a testoserone blocker though, because in my current situation it would really help me if I took them as soon as possible.  It would really help my look later on if I started taking it now.  But still, I'm waiting until I have more appointments.  I have two more this month, and then I disappear across the country for a month after that.