granted he's blind  I wish I didnt have 2 pay my parkin ticket. 

Granted....But now you have to pay all your friends parking tickets

I wish I had a new VW Beetle in either Yellow or Orange

Granted, but the brakes fail within days and you end up in a tragic car accident which leaves you in a permanent coma.

I wish I had a better doctor.

Quote from: Unconditional Acceptance
Granted; it is replaced with extreme stupidity.

Methinks the proper response is, "You're grounded."

Quote from: Nor
I wish I had a better doctor.

Granted, but his last name is Frankenstein.

I wish there was a nice big hot breakfast on my desk.

Quote from: Shades O'Grey on April 14, 2009, 09:14:23 AM
Methinks the proper response is, "You're grounded."
Granted, but his last name is Frankenstein.

I wish there was a nice big hot breakfast on my desk.

Granted your desk is buried in a mountain of eggs, bacon, sausage, etc. Good luck getting through it all so that you can work on your desk.

I wish my personality would stop changing. o.O

Granted, you are permanently a pissed off violent person.

I wish I could change my appearance at will.

Granted but your appearance changes into random stuff unless you concentrate really hard.

I wish I could fall asleep when I want to.

Granted, but it takes a jet taking off five feet from your ear to wake you up.

I wish my back and knee would stop hurting.

Quote from: Nor on April 15, 2009, 01:47:37 AM
I wish my back and knee would stop hurting.

Granted: you are now an octopus and are devoid of those pesky bones.

I wish I had my dream guitar now.

Quote from: Shades O'Grey on April 15, 2009, 10:03:10 AM
Granted: you are now an octopus and are devoid of those pesky bones.

I wish I had my dream guitar now.

granted, but it has no strings. i wish i was a real princess

Granted, but your country is at war and you are taken hostage.

I wish I could feel this good all the time.

Granted, but everyone else is miserable and blames you for it. Bring out the torches and pitchforks! 

I wish I had a mute button that could make people stop talking.

Granted! *gives you an axe* That should quiet them sufficiently.

I wish I'd stop being hungry after eating. -_-

Granted; you're no longer hungry after eating. You're insufferably giddy instead!

I wish I didn't have to read The Grapes of Wrath to pass my English class.

Granted, you don't have to read The Grapes of Wrath (what book is that, anyway?) to pass your class, but you have to read every Shakespeare play ever written in 3 days, then write a 10 page essay about each of them.

I wish you could go to a movie for free.

Granted ...But only movies you've seen already

I wish my dog would learn to play fetch

Quote from: Roxas on April 16, 2009, 01:20:10 PM
The Grapes of Wrath (what book is that, anyway?)

It's a classic about a family during the Great Depression.

Virginia, your wish is granted! Your dog knows how to play fetch, unfortunately he only likes throwing the ball so you gotta run and get it.

I wish music I like would come on the XM radio.

Granted. Power outages ensue.

I wish I didn't get stressed so easily.

Granted, you are never stressed. You are always, however, in a frenzied rage. 

I wish my spring break wasn't almost over. 

Granted...But you live out your life as an uneducated street person

I wish printer ink was less expensive