You don't: you are dinner (yum, human flesh!)

I wish that my black nail poslish wasn't all dried up.

Granted, but you nail polish never dries so it just drips off your nails.

I wish they'd finally fix my AC unit.

Granted.... But now Ice cycles are forming on your ceiling and you bump your head on them

I wish my dog would not be so wiggly when I trim his winter coat

Granted, he sits still when you trim his coat, but it still comes out uneven.

I wish I didn't have to work at 9am...

Granted.  you now get to go in at 4 Am.  Have fun, I do. 

I wish I could have an SO in my life.

Janet

Granted, but it's someone you can't stand and would rather be alone instead of with them.

I wish I could Christopher Titus' standup shows on DVD.

Granted...You are now doing stand up shows with Christopher Titus and don't need the DVD's

I wish everything would not become so heavy and difficult after a variety of injuries

Granted, everything is extremely easy, but you look like a zombie from Half-Life.

I wish I owned a PS3 and Xbox 360. (We should have a video game smiley *hint hint*  )

Quote from: Virginia Marie on April 19, 2009, 12:37:36 AM
Granted...You are now doing stand up shows with Christopher Titus and don't need the DVD's

HELLS YEAH! For a corrupted wish that's pretty damn good.

Quote from: Osiris on April 19, 2009, 12:41:35 AM
HELLS YEAH! For a corrupted wish that's pretty damn good.

Right then... have you another wish?

Ok first must grant this

Quote from: Roxas on April 19, 2009, 12:39:00 AM
I wish I owned a PS3 and Xbox 360. (We should have a video game smiley *hint hint*  )

Granted, you receive them for free, but they get stolen. But, hey no money down.

I wish I had gone to sleep 3 hours ago.

Granted... You did go to sleep 3 hr.s ago, but your subliminal mind causes you to wake up here in front of your computer with glaring eyes

I wish I could afford everything I want to grow in the garden

Granted... but customs intercepts your "Amsterdam," garden supply order.

I wish that I had absolute complete control over the entire world, I promise to be a benevolent Empress.

Granted....You are now A benevolent Empress. But have to deal with everyone's problems and report to Goddess Virginia

I wish the big toe on my right foot didn't get smashed and the toe nail would grow back correctly

granted but now u got the same problem on ur left foot.    I wish I got a brand new truck. 

Granted... Is that the truck that ran over my foot?

I wish everyone to realize that the are all Gods and Goddess'

Granted, Everyone realizes their inner divine power and now fight each other with Fireballs and Lightning instead of using their words.

I wish I had 10 minutes of free time in which I could go outside in the lovely weather and just have a smoke.

Granted, but some horrible beast has taken up residence in the middle of a cigarette.  When you try to light it one fire, it gets angry and kills you.  Then you get to stay outside in the lovely weather for a long time, until someone finds the body.

I wish I was still able to do a convincing British accent (ah, lost childhood talents).

You now can do a brilliantly convincing English accent but only when you say the phrase "tea and crumpets".

I wish I had energy to work out more often.

Granted, you have so much energy and work out so often that your muscles swell to huge proportions, BUT none of your clothes fit any longer, and you have to go live in a nudist colony. xD

I wish I hadn't lost my voice.