Granted, you didn't loose your voice.  But now instead of talking normally, you sing everything in opera. 

I wish that Disney didn't give me false hopes about finding love.

Granted, they give you the painful truth instead.

I wish I could permanently slack off on my homework without consequences.

Granted.  You can permanently slack off on your homework.  You graduate from school and begin a great job.  But you regret not learning in school what others around you did.

I wish someone would buy me flowers for no reason at all.

Granted; because they were bought for no reason and feel worthless, they wilt an hour after you receive them.

I wish I could go swimming.

Granted, you can go swimming, but the water freezes while you are inside. See you in a thousand years! 

I wish my parents understood how hard this is for me. 

Granted...Your folks are totally understanding to the point it drives you up the wall

I wish the people I'm attracted to would be attracted to me

Granted, but all they want is to get you in bed. Nothing else.

I wish my school would close for the rest of the year.

granted but you now have to go to school for two extra years to make up for it.

i wish i could get some sleep.

Granted... but you oversleep and miss out on the most important event in your entire life.

I wish for no hurricanes this year...

Granted, no hurricanes. But there are Tsunami's that are somehow able to crash over the entire continent, instead of just the coast.

I wish it weren't so damn hot here! 

ok, but now it's so cold that it's like the norht pole....

i wish my parents didn't steal my horse and dog....

Granted... But horse stealin' is a hanging offense

Wish I was a girl in her Early 20's and could get pregnant

Granted, you're in your early 20s and able to get pregnant, but no one wants to sleep with you.

I wish my history teacher wasn't such a f***ing retard.

Quote from: Unconditional Acceptance on April 20, 2009, 10:30:54 PM
I wish my history teacher wasn't such a f***ing retard.

Granted: you are instead.

I wish the phone switch at work would crash.

granted, it crashes and as a result your company goes out of business and you are laid off.

I wish I knew what to do: move home or risk moving to a new place with no money.

Granted, you know what you need to do but end up doing the opposite.

I wish I could get motivated to finish this painting.

ok, you get motivated to finish it and do, but nobody likes it...not even you

I wish I could have the nerve to actually discuss this stuff with my parents.

Granted.... You get your nerve up, but your folks are completely bored and walk off saying "tell us something we didn't know"

I wish my neighbors would just talk to each other rather than yell loudly up and down the hallway early in the morning

Granted, now they yell loudly in the evening, preventing you from getting any sleep at all.

I wish it was easier for me to accept reality instead of escaping into what could be.

They already do that, and I rarely get much sleep

Granted..... You accept reality for what it is but don't like it

I wish it was easier to shave my dog's winter coat