You have echoed something I have felt for quite a while now. Ive started on my second attempt at transition, the first time being back in the 80s when I have neither the resources, finances or perhaps even maturity to follow through to completion. Spent years regretting not transitioning then, only recently did it dawn on me that its only too late if I choose to give up.
That being said, there are some farther along in the journey that dont know my past and will behave as if I could not understand the issues or experiences they think they uniquely share. To them I tend to say nothing, because there's little point. But there have also been a fair number of supportive folks as well, and I wouldnt be on this site if I hadnt known them elsewhere from other sites where I am anything but a newbie.
Which brings me to my next point. Having spent time elsewhere its not hard to figure out who the helpful folks are in any new forum (new from my perspective), and I can see you are one of those that helps others. I recently started to question my value or usefulness on another place where I have spent considerable time, wondering if I made a difference. I was overwhelmed by the response from both the old timers (compared to me) and by the current and "newbie" members whom I had no idea were following my posts. Sometimes it takes a smack upside the head to see what we cannot because we cant see the forest for the trees.
In time I expect the same to happen for me here, but I know that only possible if members like yourself continue to post and help others. Dont let those that would make you feel small deter you, as it does a disservice not just to yourself, but to the whole community and forum at large. I may have gone through this before, but the first time I didnt have an ex wife, teenage son and business w/business partner to contend with as well (on top of family, friends, etc), and so this second time I know I will need all the support I can get. I came here because I could not get what I needed from the other place, which is not an indictment or criticism... everyplace and everyone has a purpose to serve. And
you are no different, you have a place and purpose here.
BTW, pedastals are made for the vain, if you find yourself at the bottom of one, its probably because you dont need one in the first place...