Today I am having what I refer to as a bad day.  My desire to be female is at its strongest right now, and I would do nearly anything towards that end.  This is the kind of day, that if it was winter, I would shave my whole body, and go waste entirely to much money on clothes, shoes, and new earings.  This is also the kind of day that I tend to slip up on and get caught.  My wife hates it when I am like this.

But sadly it is summer, so I cant shave my whole body.  I am somewhat hairy, and people would notice.  But, I see no reason that I cant go waste money on clothes, shoes and earings!  Maybe I'll get some makeup too, that always makes me feel better. 

Between my feelings today and that dang BJ thread, I am really worked up.

Oh, I sent my wife a text, so hopefully she wont be too upset/shocked.  You see I promised to tell her when "it" was on me like this.

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Post Merge: May 20, 2009, 08:05:09 PM

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So, I didnt get the clothes, shoes or earings.  But I did get some makeup!  It is amazing what you can buy when you just dont care what people think.  I got a little of everything...  Concealer, some mineral makeup, mascara, eye liner, eye shadow, and lip gloss.  in retrospect, I should have gotten something more along the lines of a lipstick because the coverage is better.

I had some fun putting it on, and now I feel better.

I just wish I didnt look like a 40 year old drag queen when I have it on.  And I have to get some other shades, what i got was all wrong.  Oh well.  You live and learn!

As Jimmy Buffett sang, "There are good days and bad days and going half mad days.  We all have had them and rats still have them now and then. 

HA and makeup takes experience as to what looks good for your skin tone, eyes and hair color.  With time it will come.

Here's hoping tomorrow is easier for you, no matter which way you go.

Beni

All I can say is that I remember being Jekyll and Hyde VERY well.

*hugs*

Count your blessings though... Many people end up having to hide their feelings like the plague. Many aren't so lucky as to have a SO that truly cares.

Hi
The bad days hit like thunderbolts and that is one really good thing about this site, we have them. A number of people suggest exercise to help overcome the depression. Are you on anti-depression medication? It helped me. Try very hard not to look at yourself as a 40yr old drag queen, unless you are. I'm definitly not a 56yr old drag queen. I'm a 56yr old woman, and I like how I look. And YES, I wish I was a teenager, ain't goner happen.
This is rude but I do do it.  I look at GG and  there are many ugly, obese, people who don't care for themselves.  I just reflect on how much better looking and feeling and healthy person I am.

It's called building self confidence.

Love

Cindy the Beautiful

I guess I break the rules when it comes to depression.  I am not depressed, at least I think so.

At any rate, I have spent a lot of time researching this GID phenomena, and have come to terms with it.  I recognize that I am a "probable transsexal" and I am good with it.  I actually went so far trying to figure myself out that I got a degree in Psychology.

Counseling starts in less than 2 weeks, hopefully I'll know more soon.

I call 'em BBDs, Bad Body Days.
Having one at the moment too.