Quote from: cassie09 on June 05, 2009, 08:24:48 PM
Have any of you experienced delusions of grandeur? that is to say, you have these amazing fantasies of how you will look post-transition, etc. only to realize that they are just that - fantasy, and that you are deluding yourself?
I have experienced full-blown psychotic delusions in which I was using the power of my mind to slowly reshape my body into a desirable female form, and the reason that nobody noticed this was that I had magically programmed their minds to believe that this is normal. At the time, I seemed to be perfectly normal on the surface. I was happy and
highly motivated, and I had become a bit of a captain of industry for a while. What I didn't know at the time was that I had turned very selfish and arrogant, too. When the delusion broke down, I went into a very traumatic depressive episode, relapsing a few times into the delusions again, and I finally broke down and went to see a therapist. The entire thing nearly destroyed my relationship with my boyfriend, and I'm
still trying to piece the thing back together. He never started hating me, thankfully, but he felt a little contempt toward me for a while, and earning back his respect is taking a LOT of work.
QuoteHaving said that, I think I had the best response ever today in an e-mail. One FFS surgeon pretty much told me to cut my ->-bleeped-<- out, and to accept that I will just in the end look like a feminized version of me, like the twin sister I never had.. not Megan Fox, damn it 
I am very fortunate. I'm just going to look like a six-foot tall Amazon. Some guys dig that. Some guys dig it a LOT. Maybe I'll take up gymnastics, just so I can do like backflips and somersaults and stuff. I was already freakishly limber for a male. It works for me, and I can be happy with it. I LIKE it. I am a tigress, and part of what makes me that way is that I'm learning to MOVE like a tigress. That's where real beauty comes from, you know; it emerges from the way that your body moves more than just your superficial appearance. I still look terribly masculine when I pose for pictures, but a video recording of me just SCREAMS "female."
My advice: try to make YOURSELF look sexy, and attempt to bring out the best in your OWN appearance. Take the lead of attractive females who share your physical characteristics and personality, and try to model yourself after THEM, not Megan Fox. Megan Fox is attractive because she found something that WORKS for her, and she patiently cultivated it over the course of several YEARS. Doing something like that takes a lot of humility and WORK; at least in part, she has EARNED what she has. A fortunate roll of the genetic dice can't make you famous, and Megan Fox would tell you that herself. Follow her example, and find the special something that works for YOU. When you find it, bless it with the mysterious magic of experience. That's what created Megan Fox. Use it to create the new you.
