So a random person friended me on Facebook.. and I accepted.. for gods know what reason.

Today I got into a discussion with one of these random people.
My facebook account has a number of pictures, and my "avatar" there is the same one as here.
For "some reason" the discussion involved transsexuals.
And the guy I was talking to asked me if I was MTF.

I stared at the screen for a moment.

And I have No idea how to feel about that question.
It threw me completely off guard.

I just had to write it down somewhere, well, like here.

Well at the very least maybe it's better for him to ask rather than make the wrong assumption and run with it for ages until you find out and hilarity/frustration ensues...I guess...

true..

it's the first time I've been mistaken for a woman in a man's body,... being.. you know.. the exact opposite o.O

it might be because, in your avatar at least, all you can see is your face. in early transition, sometimes its hard to know if someone is MtF or FtM if you can't see the rest of their body and see which gender they are presenting as 

It happens to a lot of us. I outed myself to someone I was interested in (pre transition) and she thought I meant that I was FTM and that it "all made sense now". LOL. Another friend introduced me to a gay couple that she knew. Later on I found out that they were perplexed on why a pretty girl such as myself wanted to be a guy. My friend "straightened" them out.

Sorry, but I gotta lol at that. xD To be honest, you do look a little more femme in that picture than you do masculine. I'm sure that's quite the opposite offline, though~ Ya seem to make a lovely dude.

Quote from: Miniar on June 27, 2009, 01:54:59 PM
true..

it's the first time I've been mistaken for a woman in a man's body,... being.. you know.. the exact opposite o.O

Heh, I had it happen once. I sent my cd to a queer radio show and the guy assumed I was going in the other direction 'cos I hadn't changed my name yet. He brought me in to talk about it and it was the most awkward interview I've ever done, he kept asking me about all of my insecurities 

I saw an endo last year, who had spent a very long time dealing with transsexual patients. Exclusively FTM, it turns out.

And she thought I was one since I was using my male name. She was very confused in the beginning.

I found most MTFs I ever met IRL assumed I was one of them.  FAIL.

 People mistaking mtfs and ftms. I don't get it. I mean don't people realize most ftms don't femme it up? I mean it's hard pressed to find ftms in any stage of transition dressed as female.

meh, since I borked my glasses I got new frames, so that might help....

I've had similar situations where I've revealed I'm a transsexual, and have been asked, "so, you're becoming a male?"

People don't understand.  We're deep in the middle of the phenomenon (we ARE the phenomenon,) and we know so much about ->-bleeped-<-, because it's a part of us that doesn't really go away.  But we're somewhere between .04% and .5% of the population (Lynn Conway numbers,) and most cisgendered folks have no idea...

In such situations, I take a deep breath and look at it as an opportunity to teach.

Karen

That's not much, what a high of 1.5 million given an even population distribution and demographic spread puts .5 million on the Eastern Seaboard between Boston and D.C. (but mostly in Amherst and Manhattan) and another 250K on the West Coast, with a smattering between, and that's for the big numbers.  At the low end of Conway's numbers we have about 120K, 30,000 are on the Eastern Seaboard, another 17K or so on the West Coast (8K of that in the Bay Area) so the odds of running into anyone outside of those population zones is rare.

The first time I met my gender therapist she thought I was an FTM as well.

Well, we are in transition - in between one and the other - so I guess it makes sense that it isn't always clear which way we're going.    Still, Miniar, I agree it would give pause if someone thinks you're going the other direction.   I think I would have reacted in the same way: Uh, what?

But in a way, it was a compliment for you to be thought as a man trying to be a woman but not succeeding very well.  After all, isn't that what you've been?

- Kate