I understand pretty well. If I were to describe myself as genderqueer, especially to a group or person that is not in a forum that is more open to that (like Susan's is), there is a political connotation of that word. The gender[expletive deleted] term surely means a political/social statement. It is very specific.
Really, if I want to get a rise out of someone or to make them think about gender in a more confrontational way, I'm not going to soften it. I think that is the bad method, so I welcome different terms. It suggests a maturation of thinking.
That's the distinction, in my head, between the term Kendra is bringing in, IMO, and the more "popular," perhaps vulgar, varients.
But, i'm pretty pretensious. YMMV
beatrix