Quote from: Laura Hope on July 05, 2009, 12:37:58 PM
Oh I know. But women with bellies as big as mine also have big soft DDs laying atop them which I don't. And usually a pretty wide tush which I don't.

It's not the belly, it's the belly by itself.

(not that I want to be fat all over, just sayin)

One thing I do - I assume we all do - is make a study of women I see around me. I was always attracted to petite women so for most of my life, while repressing, I pretty much paid little attention to tall or big girls.

now that I know I'm going tobe one of them, for the last year or so, I have been almost rude in studying other women shoe seem to be, say, 5'9" and up and comparing myself in terms of presentation. Hairstyles, manner of dress, proportions, and so forth.

And I can't remember the last time I saw a woman with a big belly and wasn't chubby in her breasts and backside too.

In any case, even if I do as poorly in the next year as I did in the last year, I can still be way more credible in the 200 neighborhood than in the 250 neighborhood.

But like I've said elsewhere, my goal is to average 2 pounds a week. that's not too much to ask, is it?

Not really. But fat should change to a more feminine shape after a while on HRT. Just be careful. Too many women develop a poor body image because they can't diet into a perfect body. Hate to see transwomen fall into it too.

edit: sorry for hijack, Stacey. 

Quote from: Laura Hope on July 05, 2009, 12:37:58 PMBut like I've said elsewhere, my goal is to average 2 pounds a week. that's not too much to ask, is it?

Nope, not too much at all. Weight Watchers recommends only about that much weight loss (2 lbs. per week) because anything more is not only unhealthy, it is unsustainable.  The goal is not so much to lose weight as it is to develop a new, healthier, skinnier lifestyle. We can't expect to lose a lot of weight and continue with the same lifestyle that got us overweight in the first place.

I lost 64 lbs. over about 9-10 months and it was tough going sometimes, but oh so rewarding now when my friends tell me I have a nice figure and I see the guys checking me out when we go out. I've gained back about 5 lbs since hrt and it's all gone back to the right (female) places. And you know what? It is a great feeling to know that you accomplished it and that you CAN do it, and that is something no one can take away from you.

I still have my occasional bout with sugar cravings...and I still mostly hate the salads and such I'm supposed to be eating but where I'm having luck is portion size.

One of the coolest things that has happened to me in the last year is discovering that a "Whopper Jr" was plenty of food and a Whopper was way too much (not just in theory but, what i mean is that I was FULL on the smaller burger and just stuffing myself to eat the "regular" size)

That really showed me some progress.

Quote from: Nero on July 05, 2009, 12:43:38 PMedit: sorry for hijack, Stacey. 

Seems to be right on topic to me- weight is a concern for a lot of women in the U.S. and a source of low self-esteem for many (it was for me). It fits in with our mental transitioning because low self esteem in one area can easily cross over to your entire self-image as a female.

Quote from: Buffy
Letting go of the past, ditch the guilt;

Seeing what other people see, hearing what other people hear;

Learn to change, stop being afraid;

Covers so many aspects of what we go through... and is a huge part of the mental transition. I think that once the guilt is tossed aside and we stop being our own worst critics.. then change and confidence automatically follow.

Quote from: Kesty'Mentally Transitioning' is something I'm only at the tip of the iceberg with, but validation in general is something I have a lot of experience with... and the secret is this: external validation is a lie you tell yourself.  When you think, oh I really hope/wonder if this or that person approves of how I'm acting/how I look, what's really going on is that *you* are unsure of yourself and rather than admit 'I am insecure' it's easier to run yourself in circles thinking about what other people think about you.

Two sides of the same coin. The more secure we are the less we look to others to confirm that which we know is right. But no one can completely eleminate validation... who doesnt like to be acknowledged for a job well done or some goal achieved. I think the difference is that validation should come (if at all) afterwards, not become a requirement.

Quote from: RenateWell, starting out you shy away from a bald-faced statement like, "I am a woman".
As time goes by, you can say it without feeling awkward in the least.
As Janet Lynn said, this declaration is the core of transition.

That being said, to have your internal feelings seconded by family, friends, co-workers and strangers is the gravy.

That last one really hit me. So obvious, yet sometimes the most obvious things are the things we cant or dont see. Sums up the rest.

I am a woman!

I used to think that transitioning was like escaping from prison. Lots of work, lots of planning and scheming, secrecy, etc. But as I've progressed, I've found it's more like crossing the border into Canada. Sure, there are mean-looking Gate Keepers with guns and surveillance equipment and walkie-talkies and fences, so it looks a lot like a prison gate -- but they just glance at your passport and let you by, and then you can say without any tension, "Hey, I'm in Canada now." And nobody will challenge you -- why would they? Nobody cares -- why should they?

I don't have to tell anybody I'm a woman. I just am.

It's taken some effort to be sure -- that's what the "mental transition" is about for me -- but the effort was mostly about convincing myself not to worry about what others might think and to quit apologizing. Once I did that (and I'm only talking about the last two or three months), transition changed from a great hurdle I had to overcome to a tedious chore I have to complete.

Is my face feminine enough? Is my voice okay? Are my clothes always appropriate for the situation? Do I act in a feminine manner and avoid masculine patterns of interaction? No on all accounts -- at least not to the point that I can present as reliably invariant as a woman, not to my satisfaction. But so what? I'm getting there, and as long as I keep working at it, I'll eventually arrive at my destination.