Hi 

:)don't worry I'm mtf lesbian, too

Anna

Hi I am La Tosha from Detroit, I just wanted to say hi and hugs, and I am a 38 yo preop ts who is also proud to be lesbian.

Quote from: samantha1976ts on January 16, 2009, 06:36:15 PM
i have always been attracted to female gender and never really for the male gender, not to say i havent crossed the tracks once, i hated it and found that i wasnt gay or attracted to males..                                                                                                     I am transgender and born in the wrong body and I hate what I was born as, but me wanting to be female and still wanting to be with other females how can that be that i feel that way? and is that even possible?
I dont' know anyone that has the same problem, or atleast i have not met anyone, even online, so i feel alone on this and thats why i started this topic.
If your out there your not alone let me know..
All feed back welcome hepl me get some in sight..

LOL! Male to Female Transsexual lesbian?! IMAO! You created this post to crack a joke and make us laugh right or are you really serious? If you're serious then I would say it's the first really ever I'm hearing this.

Quote from: Shelina on July 11, 2009, 07:35:21 PM
LOL! Male to Female Transsexual lesbian?! IMAO! You created this post to crack a joke and make us laugh right or are you really serious? If you're serious then I would say it's the first really ever I'm hearing this.

Now I've got to ask.  Are YOU serious?  Is it really the first time you've heard that sexual orientation & gender identity are two completely different things?  Though I'm hetero, there are many trans women that are lesbian, bisexual & asexual...what is so funny about that?

Quote from: Shelina on July 11, 2009, 07:35:21 PM
LOL! Male to Female Transsexual lesbian?! IMAO! You created this post to crack a joke and make us laugh right or are you really serious? If you're serious then I would say it's the first really ever I'm hearing this.

My girlfriend is a male to female transsexual lesbian.  What, may I ask, is so funny or strange about that?

Quote from: Leslie on July 11, 2009, 07:44:03 PM
Now I've got to ask.  Are YOU serious?  Is it really the first time you've heard that sexual orientation & gender identity are two completely different things?  Though I'm hetero, there are many trans women that are lesbian, bisexual & asexual...what is so funny about that?

M2F Trans here but 'Straight', LOL! Well, cos most of us struggle all of our lives to become woman to finally be able to attract males but here the person could have already attracted females by staying male already. Why he needs to become female to have affair with females, I don't get this part.

Yet I am uncertain if he is trying to attract genetic females or trans women. A genetic straight female would go only with a male and a transwoman would go with male as well. A genetic female might go with him unless she's lesbian herself but now knowing she 'was' a male, would she still want it? Now about transwoman, transwomen is most extreme form of homosexuality/feminity and I personally fall into that category and will a transwoman go with another transwoman, this I NEVER heard to be honest, so forgive me if I offended anyone cos we learn new things everyday.

This has been said in another forum topic in the FTM section, but not transitioning and having a straight relationship with a woman isn't the same as having a lesbian relationship.

Do we want to have relationships like everyone else? Of course... but I'm sure it's not the sole reason.

Quote from: Shelina on July 11, 2009, 08:00:30 PM
M2F Trans here but 'Straight', LOL! Well, cos most of us struggle all of our lives to become woman to finally be able to attract males but here the person could have already attracted females by staying male already. Why he needs to become female to have affair with females, I don't get this part.

Yet I am uncertain if he is trying to attract genetic females or trans women. A genetic straight female would go only with a male and a transwoman would go with male as well. A genetic female might go with him unless she's lesbian herself but now knowing she 'was' a male, would she still want it? Now about transwoman, transwomen is most extreme form of homosexuality/feminity and I personally fall into that category and will a transwoman go with another transwoman, this I NEVER heard to be honest, so forgive me if I offended anyone cos we learn new things everyday.

If you like guys so much, why bother transitioning? I bet plenty of gay guys out there would love to jump your bones, pre-transition. They are probably easier to find than the straight guys who want to date a "->-bleeped-<-."

Oh, because your gender and your sexuality aren't identical? Because you don't want to be someone's "boyfriend"? Wow, go figure. That's how I feel too. Except I dig girls.

You really need to get out more. About half of trans people are not straight. Including "early transitioners." Frankly, except that I've seen it so often that I'm just used to it, anyone, regardless their gender, who wants to date guys makes me "lmao." Seriously, guys? Ew.

A trans woman might be trying to attract men or lesbians, whether cis or trans. There are plenty of trans-trans relationships, both gay and straight.

Please try to rid your mind of these prejudices, lest others prejudge you.

Also: epic pronoun fail. Whether a woman is trans, cis, old, young, rich, poor, African, Eurpoean, Polynesian, multilingual, redheaded, or bipolar, you ought to refer to her with female pronouns: "she," "her", "hers," etc. No more h-bombs, capisce?

Dearest Samantha,

Listen sweetie, sexual orientation and gender identity are really completely separate from themselves. One may identify as female, and be attracted to females as well. This is not unusual and one should think that there is a problem here. There is a tendancy to feel that hey... I am a woman so therefore I must be attracted to men. Well not so necessarily. Simply this hon, you can be yourself and be attracted to anyone who attracts you. There are no rules on this anyway.
For what it is worth Samantha, my gender identity is female (I am MTF) and my sexual orientation is also towards females (for the most part).

So hon, you are not alone sweetie.

You are very normal

HUGS hon

Brenda

People don't transition to be able to attract someone of the opposite sex!  Transition isn't some random thing people do to find a date more easily!  That's completely and utterly false, maybe YOU became a woman to attract men more easily but for most people that's the last thing on their minds.  Gender identity isn't about "what's the easiest way for me to have sex with who I want to."  That's one of the most ignorant things I've ever read here.

Transsexuality is NOT an extreme form of homosexuality.  That is FALSE.  In fact, that's the kind of propaganda that's spread by bigots to discredit the entire LGBTQA community.  But it could not be more wrong.

I mean, honestly.  I'm a gay woman.  Should I suddenly want to be a man JUST so that it's easier for me to date women?  Please.

I suppose for mtf transexuals, you have to look at our roots.  Being brought up as a boy I can say that theres alot of pressure to be "straight" "normal" ...ad nauseum. lol.  So maybe theres still that level of comfort being with a female even post transition. 

ANd if there is still that drive or attraction to females, who cares.

Personally I don't consider myself to be gay, but theres aspects of being with another female that I do find exciting or just down right fun.  I also do enjoy what Laura talks about earlier, being held by a man and that strength and perceived security.

So to each their own. 

---

Post Merge: July 11, 2009, 11:52:28 PM

---

It is difficult being an MtF transsexual who is straight.  I've had so many men I've dated who tell me I'm such a good match for them.... who wind up hating me because I'm trans.  Sometimes they don't even believe me when I tell them.  I met another MtF who was bisexual but I just can't be attracted to her like that.  We're still friends.  I feel I need a man in my life, not a woman.  But I'm sure a woman would accept me more, just like my friend.

Whether you are lesbian or straight or whatever, there is going to be so many freaking hurdles.  At least the lesbians have girl power.  I'm out here in straight people's world being made to feel like I'm deceiving men for the hell of it.

Sorry, I'm just really sad right now.

We all have our personal reasons for transitioning. Me I am transitioning because:

1. I'm female in my head.
2. To attract straight men sexually.
3. To be loved by straight men emotionally.

I could have attracted males staying as I am by staying male but the problem is I attract gays or bisexuals and this is not what I want. For me gays are 'sisters' to me no matter how masculine they behave. I want 100% straight men only. Half of my life is already ->-bleeped-<-ed up, attempted suicided several times cos I lost EVERYONE but really EVERYONE I love for the same reason that I am not female. And this is the reason I need to transition into female to attract straight men. Hope you got my point now.

We got your point, but:

Quote1. I'm female in my head.

you listed that first. That is why lesbian transsexual women transition too. Because they are female first and foremost. Who they f is secondary to that.

i think some transsexuality 101 lessons wouldn't hurt:

Quote from: Natasha on January 19, 2009, 12:06:39 AM
Transsexuality 101

"For simplicity, a transsexual is a person whose inner sense of gender identity and brain patterns are completely the opposite of what physical form they are born into. This is a recognized medical condition which is completely unrelated to sexuality or sexual preference at all, but unfortunately society sees only brazen gay and bisexual people out there using gender bending to express their sexuality and assumes this is what transsexuals are too. A real transsexual has no more in common with a drag queen, gay or bisexual person than they do with a chimpanzee! They have a deep basic incongruity between their inner identity and their physical form which can only best be expressed as something which is within their very soul. Transsexuality occurs in equal numbers across born male and born female people. Estimates are that approximately 1 in 30,000 people are born with the condition."

http://www.breesaffirmation.org/Transsexuality.htm

Quote from: Shelina on July 12, 2009, 09:37:15 AM
We all have our personal reasons for transitioning. Me I am transitioning because:

1. I'm female in my head.
2. To attract straight men sexually.
3. To be loved by straight men emotionally.

I could have attracted males staying as I am by staying male but the problem is I attract gays or bisexuals and this is not what I want. For me gays are 'sisters' to me no matter how masculine they behave. I want 100% straight men only. Half of my life is already ->-bleeped-<-ed up, attempted suicided several times cos I lost EVERYONE but really EVERYONE I love for the same reason that I am not female. And this is the reason I need to transition into female to attract straight men. Hope you got my point now.

You just answered your own question. You want a 100% straight man, not a gay one. Is it not so strange to think that maybe they don't want a straight woman but a 100% lesbian woman?

Bernii is correct. Sexual orientation and gender are two different things. I don't know. Why are leafs green? Why does poop stink? Why are all we CDs photo buffs? Because it just is.

Quote from: Shelina on July 12, 2009, 09:37:15 AM
We all have our personal reasons for transitioning. Me I am transitioning because:

1. I'm female in my head.
2. To attract straight men sexually.
3. To be loved by straight men emotionally.


I could have attracted males staying as I am by staying male but the problem is I attract gays or bisexuals and this is not what I want. For me gays are 'sisters' to me no matter how masculine they behave. I want 100% straight men only. Half of my life is already ->-bleeped-<-ed up, attempted suicided several times cos I lost EVERYONE but really EVERYONE I love for the same reason that I am not female. And this is the reason I need to transition into female to attract straight men. Hope you got my point now.

Good, now we're getting somewhere. As for me, I am transitioning because:

1.  I'm female in my head.
2. To attract lesbian women sexually.
3. To be loved by lesbian women emotionally.

I could have attracted females staying as I am (was) but the problem is I attract straight women (or the occasional bisexual if I'm really lucky) and this is not what I want. For me, straight women are "sisters" no matter how they behave. I want 100% lesbian relationships only. Half of my life is already ->-bleeped-<-ed up, suicidal thoughts, with the only thing keeping me going the possibility of transition, practically no friends and no close friends before I was 20 and difficult relationships even after that, when gender didn't matter quite as much, but still completely unable to be in romantic relationships, all for the same reason, that I wasn't outwardly female. And this is the reason I transition, to be a lesbian woman and have romantic relationships with other lesbian women and friendships with other women as women and not as some guy they can't share things with because "he" is a "guy." That's not who I am.

Hope you got my point now.

I always got your point, you know. You were the one who was confused about how someone can be a trans lesbian. I suspect that you see homosexual relationships as inferior to heterosexual ones. I think that's really sad. I also think you don't value gay people as full members of their gender class; you pretty much said that. I think that's really sad too. A gay man is every bit as much a man as a straight man. Just because you were raised male, but weren't, doesn't mean that there aren't gay men completely and rightly secure in their gender role; the same goes for lesbians. Please try to overcome these apparent prejudices against gay people.

I know exactly how you feel, I am a MTF also & I have been married for 3+ years now, & I have a 2 year old son.