Well yesterday in summer school we were put in to groups of four. The group consisted of me, my friend Cory, A girl named Jada, and a girl named Nadine.

Nadine passed a note to Cory and in reply Cory said "why don't you ask him." I looked up because I was the only one who is know as "him" at the time. Nadine wrote on the back of the paper and told me not to look at the front. I did anyways. On the front it said Is your friend gay? He acts like a girl and talks like one. I said kindly "No. Just leave it at that" but she keeps asking me then she said " Who are you kidding you are gay." I didn't say anything and tried to get back to work.

Meanwhile a boy comes walking by and passes out paper to each group. Nadine flat outs says "Cj (my real name) Is gay and watch out he might be checking you out!!" Everyone looked at our group not saying anything just looking. I have never been so embarrassed in my life!!! I sat up and said "Your retarded! You do not belong in this class and should go back to special ed."

(no offense to special education people)

She got up because it was the ending of class and we like to wait by the door. A girl that was on the other side of the classroom asked what happened I didn't hear her clearly but I know I heard "...I was trying to get him to come out of the closet..."

I have dealt with people like her but I thought I was over it.  I don't feel like a gay male. I feel like a female in a male body and I never get to forget it .

Hun, I am sorry this happened to you.  I had similar experiences growing up.  People like Nadine are insecure and say mean things about others to make themselves feel better.  She obviously has issues herself.  Still, that doesn't excuse her behavior towards you.

The best thing you can do is just calmly ignore such comments.  If you try to argue or fight with them, they win.  I'm sorry, I know it's hard to do but it really is the best thing.  If you get angry they will keep it up, but if you ignore them they will move on and find someone else to pick on.

{{{HUGS}}}

I was always bullied in school for being "gay", "queer", whatever and learned to just ignore comments like that.  Reacting to them only brings on more.  I wish in those days I could have come out, but that could have been worse.

Janet

Thank you two. Its bitter/sweet to hear I have this in common with you guys. I will try to not to stoop to their level.

This bring me back memories from university and high school , well the best thing is ignore it and act like nothing happened.

or reply by saying:  ah So you are gay and wondering if we can sleep together?   

As hard as it is, it's better to ignore that stuff.  Just roll your eyes or something.  *hugs*

I know exactly what you are going through I went through that alot when I was in HS, but the thing that I realized for me personally was that I didn't feel like a gay male I felt like a gay female & @ the time that confused the hell out of me 'cause I didn't know anything about the transgender people & I knew very little about the gay & lesbian socioty as well but once I figured it out I was alot better off but if you need to talk just E-mail me.

I would have done something along the lines of, "Bwahahahaha! I've got new socks."

That way they just think you are run of the mill crazy.

YMMV

While I believe I'm probably considerably older than you.  I totally understand your pain.  I couldn't get away from it.  No matter where we moved to or what peer group I was with, I was called "gay," "queer," "homo," etc.  Even the adults in my life (my few friends' parents) thought I was gay.

So how do you deal with it?  I stuck close to good male friends who would defend me.  I can't say it was the best strategy, but I just had to deal with it.

NOTE: this is referring back to when I was in grade school.

thanks you guys so much and I am glad I do not have to do this alone. Having your support helps me out a lot.

Quote from: Shazny2010 on July 09, 2009, 01:24:32 AM
thanks you guys so much and I am glad I do not have to do this alone. Having your support helps me out a lot.

Well that is exactly wha we are here for, we are here to help & support each other 'cause no one else will.

To put this in perspective, since I am -- well -- older, in two years I will have my 45th year high school reunion, and they will get to meet the classmate they spoke of the same way your classmates act toward you as the person I wish they really could have known back then. (I really didn't know "her" then either, I was too young.) I have been to the 20th, 25th and 40th year parties as my male self, and now realize that "Kids" do grow up!!  I think even they will realize a difference and wish they could have accepted me as I was back then, but hey -- they and I were just "KIDS" back then. (Sniffle, sniffle -- happy type!)  What the F$%K did we know then? ?

Does she still bother you? I doubt it since you stood up for yourself. Bullies are mostly cowards.

Whenever I was asked I'd just flatly and honestly answer "I'm not attracted to men".

Beats explaining "well yeah I'm gay, but for girls..." etc.

Dear Dear Shazny!!

Hon, I am so sorry you had to deal with that unpleasant experience . Take heart sweetie, you won't be dealing with juveniles forever!! Right now you are surrounded by people who are immature and gender insecure. Anyone who appears to threaten their little world will be bullied. They are simply scared and will lash out towarss you to make themselves feel better, if only for the moment.

Shaz, dear! I know this is easier said than done, but hon, ignore them, they are not worth your time.

Love

Brenda

This reminds me of the time some girls called me a lesbian for wearing saggy cargo shorts in highschool. Never wore them again after that.  be yourself Shazny and screw them all to hell.

We are all here for each other.
Don't fret Shazny the immature insecure ones are having more problems that you are. You have accepted you. They may well be trying to gigure out what and where they are.

As others have said ignore them

Vicky I hope the reunion goes well. I would just love to do that. I put up with a whole high school life in a male christian brothers (now there's an oxymoron  ) school. Every one knew I was different. I was generally ignored but just not accepted. I would get a blast returning as Cindy.

Take Care both of you

Cindy

I was talking to a couple of girls in a class at high school in younger days. I was only talking to them because I was attracted to one of them. Suddenly in chorus, they both said "Thaaaaay". It was at that moment I learned that my hard stare down scared the crap out of people. They never said boo again.

Some TG people are gay, others are not. Whether your gay or not is none of Nadine's business. She sounds pushy and obnoxious and best to be ignored unless you end up suing her for sexual harassment. She's going to put her nose up someones butt one day and they are going to fart in her face 

It's easy to say, "don't pay any attention to them", but you have to.  I did.  Periodically throughout my public schooling, eons ago, I had to "prove" I wasn't gay to lots of kids who thought I was.  And so, I did. I became so good at being tough, lots of kids , then later, adults, left me alone....well alone.
And now, I've come full circle.  I'm gay.
I'm a gay woman, and happy, and not quite so tough anymore.

Bev

Indifference to taunting is a quick deterrent.  If you don't care (visibly, anyway) and don't react to what they're doing, they aren't getting what they want out of it.  Even if it is difficult, the best thing to do is not react.  If people were trying to beat you up, it would be one thing, but that doesn't seem to be what's going on.