Do you even begin to have a clue as to what I said?

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Post Merge: July 17, 2009, 12:23:20 AM

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Understanding Margo Rose - which is beyond you, or at least your google skills -  is to know that puppets are controlled by someone, somewhere. It's not a shell, its a facade, real different deal.

No, quite the opposite.

What Margo, and her husband of many years, Jim, taught me was.

I was the puppet, and the puppet was me.  It only moved in the freedom that I gave to myself.  That if the puppet was stiff, and clumsy, and kind of jerky, then that was not the puppet, that was me.  To the degree that the puppet was fluid, was graceful, was liquid, well that was me too - it was a matter of challenging myself to be, through the puppet, what I really was.  That the puppet was not something on strings, but rather, those strings were attached to my heart and to my soul and reflected that.

Not even

Re: The Woman You Thought You'd Be vs. The Woman You Became?

I haven't reached that point of saying the woman I became because it hasn't happened. I'm not gonna lie. The whole thing is a disappointment and after 10 years of HRT it's not working. Some might like to kid themselves and some it might have worked well for them, but for me I haven't achieved what I set out to do.

If reading some of these posts didn't make me sad and feel disappointed, it would be funny.

(not yours, NB)


Bev 

Forgive this off-topic post...

Quote from: Tristan on July 16, 2009, 11:14:28 PM
oh yeah and Firefly was good. happy to know im not the only one with it on blu ray

(assuming you're referencing my quote/avatar)

I don't have it on Blu Ray, but I do have the series on DVD and the Serenity Collector's Edition 

Tekla, Heatherrose, please be friendly in my thread, and everyone try to stay on topic.  Thanks. 

...Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

Quote from: Naturally Blonde on July 17, 2009, 04:14:21 AM
Re: The Woman You Thought You'd Be vs. The Woman You Became?

I haven't reached that point of saying the woman I became because it hasn't happened. I'm not gonna lie. The whole thing is a disappointment and after 10 years of HRT it's not working. Some might like to kid themselves and some it might have worked well for them, but for me I haven't achieved what I set out to do.

I don't really have high expectations for hormones. If I were 17, that would be one thing, but I'm not. I have much higher expectations for surgury that hrt, but mostly my expectations are of myself and my ability to work with what I've got. How has that part gone (if that made any sense)?

For me, I transitioned with the assumption that I would seldom pass. But now I find that I usually do. That is the biggest difference I find between what I thought and the reality. I always expected to out myself every time I would open my mouth to speak. Well, my voice isn't good enough on the phone, but in person, people I talk to still consider me female. And now that I regularly see women who are taller than I am and women who have smaller breasts than I have, I feel like I really belong in the female world now.

the idea of being able to grow, emotionally, was rather foreign to me prior to HRT, which i wasn't quite able to see until after i was on HRT.

so in that regard, expectations were better than, um, expected. no, wait, results were better than expectations. no, actually, i didn't know what to expect.

physically, i like my body, but, i feel that i pass less these days than LAST YEAR. (sorry, caps).

-ell ell

ps, Tekla, please stop bothering Heatherrose, or i will have to wop you.

Oh, HR looks like she can take care of herself well enough, if she can't she would be the first truck driver I've ever met who can't, as most truck stops exists somewhere between the Wild West and the Barbary Coast.

My Girl can easily take care of herself, me and anyone else who would be in our circle.  But she can also be quite the lady.


Janet

Quote from: ell on July 18, 2009, 10:21:12 PM
the idea of being able to grow, emotionally, was rather foreign to me prior to HRT, which i wasn't quite able to see until after i was on HRT.

so in that regard, expectations were better than, um, expected. no, wait, results were better than expectations. no, actually, i didn't know what to expect.

Emotionally? Can you elaborate hon? What did it do?

Quote from: Nero on July 19, 2009, 02:44:03 PM
Emotionally? Can you elaborate hon? What did it do?

well, it gave me the feeling that i could finally access an important part of my brain which i didn't have access to before.

i had a pretty tough go-around in many aspects of my personal life, and, my typical response had mostly been anger.

now, of course, one has a conscience, which tells one not to carry one's anger too far, but, consciences can get to feeling like the rude people who only grudgingly filled in for parents. hostile to the self.

with the result that i was also rude to people. and myself!

well, that doesn't sound so different from lotsa people you meet every day.

i still get angry sometimes, but now i often have the capability to choose how i respond to various stressful stimuli.

it might sound pretty basic and stupid, but this is what i'm supposing is emotional growth.

-ell

I've been on HRT for 11 months now and I'm very pleased with the results so far. my face has started to feminize nicely, although i don't see it as dramatic as my friends say i do see some improvement. my jaw line has softened and my skin is getting softer.
the hair on my chest has gone away but the on my legs and arms it's just gotten softer and lighter.
my breasts have grown to a full b cup and are still growing. the women in my family average a d so if i can grow to a full c i'll be happy. i have decided to live with what i get and not go for for a ba.
before HRT i had a big "ball" on the end of my nose which is almost gone now and my nose seems to be getting smaller too!

the most surprising thing i've found about being on hormones is the way i feel. it's hard to say that i feel like a woman as i've never "been" a woman before however i now feel like me. and that makes this all worth while in my eyes.