I am not having much success in wearing female clothes and not drawing attention.  I want to shift my clothing slowly so that no one notices.  I did wear a business woman's wool white pants to work and got no comments.  They looked good and got no reaction.  That was perfect.

How can people shift gradually so that no one notices?

Perhaps shift to a more unisex look, but clothing is pretty gender marked in most people's eyes.

I have worn women's jeans and tee shirts in public without comment.  Some shirts are gender neutral while others are very feminine.  You might try wearing a woman's oxford style shirt.  It is definitely feminine but it may not attract all that much attention.  It is harder to find shoes that are more unisex.  Sandals or sneakers could work.  I have a pair of women's leather sandals that I wear all the time in the summer.  They are definitely unisex.

Louise

Same as above suggestions - Just start shopping in the women's section, but avoid anything that's clearly female. A lot of women's jeans and shirts are the same style as men's. Then slowly work up to more feminine styles and colors. Just wearing clothes made for women should make you feel a little more comfortable.

You can look in many clothing catalogs or fashion magazines and find clothing that doesn't draw much attention. The kind of stuff you normally wouldn't pay attention to. Probably no one else does either. I'm not sure why it matters if others pay attention or not.

For me, when I went full time I left work on vacation for a week as male.  Returned after as female and have never been seen as male again.

But I used to wear female lingerie under my male clothes.

Janet

Louise wrote, "You might try wearing a woman's oxford style shirt."

Good idea.  I have been wearing male sateen shirts in different colors.  They look nice.  A woman's Oxford should work.  Women's sneakers are long enough but not wide enough.
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Nero I am quite self conscious to shop in the female section of department stores.  Catalogs are difficult because my size is not standard.

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Genevieve wrote, "I'm not sure why it matters if others pay attention or not."

Because I look like a male and have a high probability of getting fired.

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Janet wrote, "But I used to wear female lingerie under my male clothes."

I have been wearing a sports bra for a couple of years because it hurts if I do not.  As long as you don't get arrested no one sees your undies so that is acceptable to do what you want.

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People now think I have turned "super" gay.  The teenage minority boys will outright ask me if I am gay.  They also will touch me.  Several are inappropriate and rude.  I do look different.  I would like to move slowly and let everyone adjust.  Maybe I don't have to lose everything.

Womens' clothing, if you don't go for frills, lace, and extra skin exposure, is basically like mens' except more form fitting with less room in the shoulders and more in the hips/ass. And darting at the breasts/waist to add shape. With the buttons/etc on the opposite side.

You may be able to find simple, plain button down shirts and slacks that fit you alright. But keep in mind that they are shaped for someone who has an ass and breasts, especially as you go up into the larger sizes where it's more pronounced. Try Lands End for prudish female professional attire :v

And try leather professional styled loafers and other slipon shoes. if you shop online, like at shoebuy.com, overstock, zappos (in particular), etc you can often find a wide range of sizes available for shoes with good shipping/return policies.

Quote from: Wendy on July 16, 2009, 11:07:44 AM
I am not having much success in wearing female clothes and not drawing attention.  I want to shift my clothing slowly so that no one notices.  I did wear a business woman's wool white pants to work and got no comments.  They looked good and got no reaction.  That was perfect.

How can people shift gradually so that no one notices?

i don't exactly understand the question because, oh lordy, they *do* notice!

Quote from: Wendy on July 16, 2009, 11:07:44 AM
I am not having much success in wearing female clothes and not drawing attention.  I want to shift my clothing slowly so that no one notices.  I did wear a business woman's wool white pants to work and got no comments.  They looked good and got no reaction.  That was perfect.

How can people shift gradually so that no one notices?

It is an interesting question.

About 5 years ago, when I just started wearing women's clothes, all of them were not obviously feminine.
I just wore plain jeans and jackets in those days. My hair was no so long.

In fall, 2004, I noticed that young women tended to watch my stretchable blue jeans I purchased at $20 in Wal mart. In a supermarket, I strolled in lanes to find something, probably milks for my new born daughter. A young caucasian woman sat there to argue with her little toddler. She happened to be next to me. Then she began to look my jeans from the bottom, and finally looked up to my face. It took 3 or 5 seconds. She seemed amazed, but I am not certain I was a male to her.

A few days later, my Korean male friend told that he saw a physically outstanding person in a mall. He did not mention whether the person was he or she, but said that he had never seen any person whose jeans are so match well her/his legs in the U.S. Finally, he said after carefully looking the person, he was surprised that it was me. I asked whether I looked like a man or woman, but he did not explicitely answer it. Instead, he said that I looked nice whatever my gender is.

Also, other people used to comment on my wearing stretachable blue jeans, usually mentioning my waist size.

However, I still do not know why people in the US gave so much attention to my plain blue jeans of US women's size 6. I still sometimes wear them in here (Korea), but no so many people paid attention to them. Until now, no comment on the same jeans. I guess the reason is that the blue jeans are too plain here whereas they could emphasize my waist line in the U.S.

Because of this reason, nowadays I try to purchased pants that can attract people here, for example, skinny jeans.

Photos of my wearing stretchable jeans about 5 years ago:
https://www.susans.org/forums/MGalleryItem.php?id=1779
https://www.susans.org/forums/MGalleryItem.php?id=1780

I still think the jeans look too ordinary.

Barbie~~

Autumn I go for the granny look.  However the form fitting look nicer because I do have a waist.  Pants tend to be difficult because I do not have a behind or hips.  I do have big legs so that the right cut looks good and professional.

At work I wear my jacket from morning until night.  I can wear use some beautiful ties which usually get compliments.  The Jerry Garcia collection is really nice.

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Ell wrote, "i don't exactly understand the question because, oh lordy, they *do* notice!"

Hi Ell.   Hope you have been well!  The educated adults have yet to say one word to me.  They just say I look good and I look different.   However several poor inner city minority males take about 5 seconds to get in my face to make a comment.  Most of the inner city females are very nice to me.

Ell I would prefer everyone knew so that I would not have to hide all day.

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Barbie your pics look great.  My measurements are 40B/C-33-39 (which is good for me but very male except for the B/C) .  You are 35-27-36 if I were to guess.  You have a nice thin female figure.

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My girlfriend goes around in conservative female clothing.  She has a male face but beautiful hair and once in a while someone gets confused.  However she could care less what people think.  She is out and goes by her male name.  She is very comfortable with herself.  That is nice.

I am trying to find a way to move off of center but at a snail's pace.

Women's polo shirts and caro capri pants are good. Jeans and T-shirts as well.

There's no such thing as people, "not noticing."

You're switching from one extreme to another and society isn't at the point yet where it readily accepts in betweens.

Annwyn wrote, "There's no such thing as people, "not noticing."

You're switching from one extreme to another and society isn't at the point yet where it readily accepts in betweens."

People notice something but I think they guess wrong.  I am accepted by many as an in between but they address me as sir.  I will ask a couple of girlfriends to help me shop.

If you want to wear girls clothing then wear girls clothing.  If you're gonna shop for girls clothes so you can look like a guy, then you're wasting your money.

Socks.  Scarves (the winter kind).  That's about it.

The elephant/waterfall scene in your avi reminds me of bukakke.


Disturbing.

Annwyn when you wear girl's clothing you look like a girl.  When I wear girl's clothing I look like a guy in girl's clothing.  Most of the older folks that I know in the support groups lost their wife, job and house.  Many are well educated and talented and as soon as they walk into an interview the interview is over.

The chairperson at the training session on Sunday said, "If I knew how tough it would be I am not sure I would have transitioned.  However I am happier when it was over."  She is still friends with her ex and she rebuilt her business.

My relationship is much different with my wife but we are still best friends. I now work a new job as a male.  I would most likely be fired if I push the envelop too far.

However society does accept some things.  These days you can be a "different" male.  Therefore I keep pushing the envelop.  I look very different than I did four years ago.

I will try my way of doing things because it is my life.  Yes I have wasted a lot of money.  Your input is very accurate

I see a lot of good ideas and I will continue to waste my money.  I will slowly find my way and will do it my way.  Maybe I can keep a job.  Maybe I will keep my wife.  Maybe even a few friends will stay but probably not.  I have new friends.

Oh well.  If you own your own business then you're much better off than I am.  I can only blow about 1000 a week on clothes, you probably have more money than that to dispose of.

Quote from: Annwyn D'Fenwyr on July 20, 2009, 11:52:53 AM
Oh well.  If you own your own business then you're much better off than I am. 

If I own my own business, then I will get more money as I can attract so many people. As an employee in a large government institution, I should follow some implicit rules which are vague but still valid.

In my home town, nearly everybody knows me and some people joke that I may have better run for a local politician.

As I have been a natural scientist, my changing job would not happen. But, if I want transition, then I would consider run my own business to be independent.

Barbie~~