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Apartment hunting - disclose or no?

Started by kae m, July 27, 2009, 04:05:36 PM

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kae m

I will be starting to look at some places within the next couple weeks.  I am not full time yet, due mainly to work, and continuing electrolysis on a generally more than weekly basis (in other words, my face is pretty beat up :embarrassed:).  If my state doesn't have anti-discrimination laws for gender identity, am I at risk of being kicked out because of that after I have signed a lease?  If that's the case, is there any advantage to disclosing up front, or am I better off just letting them figure it out sometime after I move in?
I know that in a perfect world as long as I have a steady source of income to pay my rent on time it shouldn't matter, but some people suck. 
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Arch

I don't know where you live or what your options are, but have you thought of looking specifically for LGBT-friendly housing? Is that a possibility?

If the credit check will turn up a gender discrepancy, you might want to disclose. But I'm not an attorney. Definitely do your research.

Mostly I just want to send positive vibes your way.
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
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kae m

Quote from: Arch on July 27, 2009, 04:24:01 PM
I don't know where you live or what your options are, but have you thought of looking specifically for LGBT-friendly housing? Is that a possibility?

If the credit check will turn up a gender discrepancy, you might want to disclose. But I'm not an attorney. Definitely do your research.

Mostly I just want to send positive vibes your way.
Thanks :)
I (unfortunately) don't have to worry about a discrepancy showing up in a credit check.  I'll be showing up for viewings and whatnot in boy mode, I'm realistically still at least a year away from a name & gender marker change for my DL, and longer for anything further than that.  For what it's worth, I'm in CT, a socially liberal and laid back state all things considered so I'm probably needlessly worried.  But I have this fear that like 3 months after I move in management will see me around the place in girl mode and decide I'm driving away tenants or something, so they'll try to throw me out.

As far as finding LGBT-friendly housing, I'm not sure where to go about looking, and I'm not really sure that's something I would benefit from.  I don't want to feel like I have to segregate myself to a certain building or neighborhood or whatever, if that makes any sense.  I wouldn't rule it out, but I don't think there even is an especially LGBT-friendly area here, the city and surrounding towns are all pretty diverse.
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fae_reborn

If your documents are still in your male name, then don't bother disclosing anything to your landlord and keep all records in your legal name, but change them when the time is appropriate.  I doubt they'll make a fuss if you start going in girl mode, and if anyone asks just tell them you're making some changes.  They don't need to know any of the details, that's your personal business, not their's.

As long as your a good tenant, pay your rent on time, and mind your neighbors, I really doubt the landlord will care.  But once you go full-time and change your records, if they do make a fuss, you can always find a new apartment.
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Ender

Quote from: Fae on July 27, 2009, 08:08:45 PM
As long as your a good tenant, pay your rent on time, and mind your neighbors, I really doubt the landlord will care.  But once you go full-time and change your records, if they do make a fuss, you can always find a new apartment.

I agree with this; the most important thing to a landlord is that they get their money on time, don't have to hear neighbors complaining about how noisy you are, and don't have to repair a trashed apartment when you move out.  And if for some reason they throw a fit over a name change, you can always get a new place.

For the first two years at my apartment, the lease was in [girl name].  Once I changed my name, I merely informed my landlord of this fact.  The response was a very anti-climactic 'oh, OK, thanks for letting me know, Eryk.'  I didn't offer any details along the lines of 'and the reason I go by a male name now is because I am a transexual'--and he didn't ask for them.
"Be it life or death, we crave only reality"  -Thoreau
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sneakersjay

I wouldn't disclose.  Once you're an established tenant, I doubt the apartment manager will really care (you pay the rent; you're not trashing the place, etc).  Good tenants are hard to find and keep.

By the time you need to change your name etc. on documents it should be a non-issue.



Jay


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finewine

I agree with Jay...and would add that it's none of their damn business anyway :)  When you rent, part of what you're buying is the privilege of privacy in your own home which they're legally bound to respect (enforcement issues not withstanding).   Well, that's the case on this side of the muddy puddle.
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tekla

On this side of the pond the ideal is far closer to 'we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.'  And often they do.
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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fae_reborn

Quote from: tekla on July 28, 2009, 01:24:12 AM
On this side of the pond the ideal is far closer to 'we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.'  And often they do.

Still, there's no reason to disclose everything to the landlord.  If you're a good tenant, it shouldn't matter.  Once you change your name, just inform the landlord only of what's necessary, and if you've been there a while and have a good landlord/tenant relationship, that's all that really matters.  There's no need to go into depth because it's not their concern.
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