I voted "in the middle of transition, not sure".  It's impossible for me to be stealth right now because all of the people I hang out with are people I've known for a while and I'm not about to give up friendships for the sake of transition.  But when I meet new people at parties and whatnot, I don't tell them I'm trans because it's unnecessary.  Also I'm going back to college in the fall and I don't plan on telling people (I go to a huge school where nobody knows anybody, so there won't be a problem of people recognizing me from last year or anything).

Quote from: Matilda on July 27, 2009, 06:38:59 PM
Tasha...ROFL

Do you mean that you are not "PROUD" of what you "REALLY ARE"?  How dare you use your being a woman as a way to "HIDE THE TRUTH", huh?   

i know. it's hopeless.

Around the area where I live, I am mostly stealth. People that know me on line because of my business do know my of my former male persona. Since I wrote the book, total stealth is out of the question. 

When I first started to transition, I wanted to be totally stealth and lead a double life with my business clients never knowing who I really was.  I thought back then that I would never really pass in public either but when I made the plunge into full time, I did pass.  At the same time though, I began to feel less and less that being a transsexual woman was something to hide.  Now, I will tell just about anyone if it seems logical that they know.  I never live or refer to that old identity and for most of my waking hours, I don't think about stealth.  I just live the life of a typical woman.   

Maggie

Quote from: Leslie on July 16, 2009, 06:19:56 AM
there are also many transpeople that leave their countries once they've transitioned.  I'm one of them.

I never thought I was going to be able to. I wasn't stealth material ~wink~.  But my life has turned out very different from what I expected.  I moved away, I moved to a different country to get away from the trans stuff & I intend to keep it that way.

Not sure if I am or not. I don't try to talk about it with people who don't know, but I seem to have a knack for outing myself to my friends. Since i'm in such a small town it seems the majority don't know about me unless I start hanging around a guy. Then its all "OMG, did you hear this about her?"  Other then that its pretty much pure miss or ma'am.

So partial stealth? Stealthy?

Only my family and some close friends know about my past, Im 52 now, started transition at 16, had srs at 28, so work it out.
Im now living as a typical woman, some men who had no idea saw me as a ''lovely lady'' which is a complement, but it comes back to haunt me again and again, I was engaged to my BF, but this is now off for the moment till he gets his mind together since I came out to him a few months ago, sometimes I regret I tolded him Im trans, well now at least he knows, bloody hell, we're still an item, but he hasnt tolded his family, thats the whole God dam thing being stealth, he was first attracted to me and saw me as a ''beautiful woman'' his words, not mine, Im still all woman, just with a pass that people ether except or don't, just my 2cents.
p

i suppose it is a shallow way for me to see things, but being called "sir" really sucks.

Quote from: pretty pauline on July 29, 2009, 04:03:33 PM
Only my family and some close friends know about my past, Im 52 now, started transition at 16, had srs at 28, so work it out.
Im now living as a typical woman, some men who had no idea saw me as a ''lovely lady'' which is a complement, but it comes back to haunt me again and again, I was engaged to my BF, but this is now off for the moment till he gets his mind together since I came out to him a few months ago, sometimes I regret I tolded him Im trans, well now at least he knows, bloody hell, we're still an item, but he hasnt tolded his family, thats the whole God dam thing being stealth, he was first attracted to me and saw me as a ''beautiful woman'' his words, not mine, Im still all woman, just with a pass that people ether except or don't, just my 2cents.
p

That sucks, Pauline.

I take your story as a lesson.  I should change my vote to "out and proud" because at this point – only three months as Kate – I don't care who knows I'm trans.  Most people I see daily know anyway.  My stance when I go out of town, where people don't know, is sort of "I am what I am and so what?"

I don't wear a big red T on my forehead, but otherwise it is no big deal.  Perhaps it boils down to being comfortable with yourself.

And then I think that it would be so nice to always be treated as the woman I am becoming.  It would be wonderful to never have to worry about having lived all those years pretending to be a man.

*sigh*
Kate

Somewhat, I'm stealth except for work, close friends, and partner.

I am just coming out to all the people in my 2 bowling leagues  and they all will know in 4 weeks if they don't already know, those i already have told are spreading the word and others have seen for themselves, the city i live in i know allot of people so stealth is not an option.

Those that see me all the time still see him, those that don't know me see Paula. If people ask I'm more than willing to talk to them as long as they aren't a jerk about it.

By the time i retire in 8 or so years my surgeries should be complete and i will retire somewhere warm year around and be as stealth as possible.

Paula

Quote from: Kevin on July 27, 2009, 06:01:36 AM
I would consider myself stealth... and I was born/live in Ohio. No one knows except the people who knew me before that I still talk to and my family.

I can't think of the last time I needed to show anyone my birth certificate other than when I had to use it for my name change and when I signed up to play ball when I was 9. It is a pain that Ohio won't even change your NAME on your BC, let alone the sex, but I think it can be worked around. They will change your ID info here, and I eventually plan on getting a passport to use in place of my BC.

(I actually haven't yet been able to change the sex legally on my ID here because I don't have the money for surgery yet, but as far as I know no one notices/cares and if someone ever does notice it's a funny typo that I never noticed before. So my answer doesn't change.)

Once in a while I'll hear something about Ohio or one of the other 2 or 3 states like it, and about how it's "impossible" here. Like I said, it is a huge pain compared to most states, I'm pretty sure I've heard of people being able to get married here after getting their IDs changed and all of that taken care of, despite the BC not being able to be changed. But I can't believe they won't let us change anything on the BC...

You can change name on an Ohio birth certificate, although you get an amended birth certificate that shows your old name as well, so it wouldn't help with stealth.

Cloaking Shields at full power, but there seems to be a slight fluctuation in power, failure is likely inevitable.

I have only just seen myself for what, I think, I really am. So other than (to use a southern slang) all y'alls, myself, and the therapist I going to for the first time tomorrow, no one knows. Though I think there may be some out there that have known before me. 

Just a couple of years ago I would have said sure I was stealth, but the truth is that I pretty much got clocked every day of my life. Everybody knew I was trans except of course me. My grandmother of all people was bitching at me the other day about losing weight. She actually had the gall to tell me to put my weight back on because I look to much like a girl. Unfortunately, I fear that when I do begin transitioning I won't be passable that way either. Kind of naturally stuck in the middle I guess. Probably will never really be "stealth".

Quote from: Mr. Fox on July 30, 2009, 12:36:06 PM
You can change name on an Ohio birth certificate, although you get an amended birth certificate that shows your old name as well, so it wouldn't help with stealth.

Yeah, as far as I know they just attach your name change papers officially to your birth certificate, or something like that... do you know what they do exactly?

I've never even bothered sending my papers to get my BC amended because I don't see the point if they're going to have my old name on it... if I really need my BC I can show them name change papers with it, I don't see the point of bothering in contacting Vital Statistics.

I'm at a tipping point.  Not really "out", not really "in" either.  Definitely transitioning ;-)  I live and work and dress feminine every day.  Haven't worn men's clothes in years. BUT most days I do not wear the three red flags when out and about during the day:  dresses, skirts, obvious/heavy makeup.  I do go out at night in my normal mode or dressed to impress... in my town etc.  I am making a slow turn for the world, so when they do see me in dresses/skirts etc, they will think "yeah, he was pretty girly for the last few months..."

I do not like this phase and all its wardrobe changes, or the worry about when I'm going to far with the other clothes.  Still, because of business ( I'm self employeed ) I need to be careful in how I present to the world in general.

At first, I thought that was the only way to be able to live this life. Then as time went on and I eventually had to let myself out to the world, amazingly, I found it unecessary to be completely "stealth". I own my own retail business and have for 15 years. So stealth is almost out of the question when it comes to existing customers. It's centered around mostly male dominated material. So, yeah, I had concerns when I wanted to go full time. Turns out though, that fear of losing business was unfounded and my customers relate to Dawn just as well (actually better) than they did to Don. I really think they like me more now than they did as a male. Go figure! So now I'm just a women living in a man's world and trying to take it over! And, loving every minute of it. If they don't ask, I don't tell. If they ask with respect I answer in kind.



Dawn

I can't be stealth because I just came out last month and Im totally pre op. But if  I decide to transition, by the time I'm done if I move far away I will never tell anyone I was born female except for a serious partner.

I'm still in the middle of things.

Family and friends know the deal.

People at my place of study do not. Small town and a class full of young nerds? We nerds aren't the most observant of people, so I get taken at face value  . The staff have been respectful enough so far not to out me.

I wasn't sure if I'd feel the need to tell anyone or not. I haven't so far, and I don't think I'm going to - I'm enjoying things how they are too much to even consider it. So I suppose for now, I'm "socially stealth".

Yup I'm stealth.  GRS changes a lot of things, your mindset & outlook on life amongst them.

stealth and in the closet...I am terrified.  can i transition without telling my family?