QuoteCould you love (romantic love) a transperson who hasn't had genital surgery?
Could you make love with a transperson who hasn't had genital surgery?
Why or why not?
And would whether they had plans for SRS or not make any difference to you?

My answer would be no for all.. sorry for the honestly. But I have a massive hang up with no having a penis even after lower surgery I still wouldn't feel like I could compare..

I do find trans women attractive don't get me wrong. But if they didn't have the bottom surgery I just couldn't. Own personal reasons.

(Ready for the firing squad)

Nero I know exactly how you feel I keep asking my friends about this and alot of them say its down to the person them selfs not what they have in there underwear. I can see where they are coming from.. just I couldn't get past that.

Jay

Quote from: Leslie on August 02, 2009, 06:54:35 AM
Why are you calling other transmen "women"? 

Uh, I'm not. I simply said I'm not attracted to women, period. And that I would have a problem with a pre-op transman AS WELL. I could have been clearer, but you could have asked for clarification first before moving in for the perceived kill.

Not everyone here knows that I'm gay, you know, so I tried to cover all the bases for the newcomers.

Sheesh.

Edited to add: Sorry, didn't mean to get all huffy over a simple misunderstanding. It's the T!! I swear!!!!! It's turned me into a raving maniac!!!!!   

Guns don't kill people; emoticons with guns kill people.

Yes, without question.


Jay,
There is no reason for a firing squad, everyone has preferences and hang ups. There is nothing wrong with that. Thank you for being brave enough to even say it. 

Yes, I can and would love anyone, regardless of their genital configuration, and would happily have sex with them in any way that was comfortable for both of us (if I didn't have so many hang-ups about sex to begin with  ).  The personality of someone, who they are inside, is so much more important than their physical makeup.  But there would have to be chemistry between us first, i.e. shared interests, sense of humor, intelligence, etc.

I have no idea.  I'm committed (legally married) to someone and my eyes have not strayed for years. 

Cindi

Good answer, Fae!

Quote from: finewine on August 03, 2009, 12:03:33 AM
Good answer, Fae!

Thank you.  I'm not in a position to judge anyone, and if I love them, then it shouldn't matter what their genitals are.

I think I'd have issues pre-op or post-op, simply because I think our issues would clash and make us incompatible.

Quote from: Monty on August 03, 2009, 12:19:13 AM
I think I'd have issues pre-op or post-op, simply because I think our issues would clash and make us incompatible.

If you truly love someone enough, those "issues" won't matter, and you'll find ways to work around them.

Nope, no way.  Not even something I'd consider.  I'm attracted only to women. I have absolutely no desire to have a 2nd penis in my bed nor am I a fan of anal sex. 

Yes.

What's between the ears is far more important than what's between the legs. 

W~

QuoteWhat's between the ears is far more important than what's between the legs.

Sounds like the right answer...but I challenge whether this is truly an honest answer for most people.

Finding a person physically attractive, sexually fulfilling and so on is not inferior to mental compatibility....and visa versa.  I'm unconvinced that there are many people out there who would disregard looks, sex, etc. and love just "the mind" of a partner.

It sounds lofty to assert that one is only interested in the intellectual because we fear sounding shallow if we say "actually I want to find my partner attractive too".  It's an irrational fear, in my opinion...and it leads us to hypocrisy.

Come on, seriously ... how many people here are genuinely saying they'd enjoy an intimate relationship with someone who they find hideously ugly?  If we're being honest with ourselves, I imagine most of us would admit that we want to look at our partner and not be repelled.

Similarly, you are either ok with a prospective partners genitalia or you're not...I doubt very much anyone would be able to ignore them just because the partner had a great mind or personality.  Especially genitalia, in fact, as bad-sex tension is hugely destructive in relationships.

Good question - is it possible to have romantic love without physical attraction?

How do blind people fall in love?

"Ooh I love the juxtaposition of your features, it's sooo sexy"  face-fondling ensues

I don't really understand visually based physical attraction.
I don't really even understand being physically attracted to a physical attribute, to be honest.
I just don't get it.

I am capable of loving a person regardless of their physical attributes.
Yes, I want my partner/playmate/whatever you want to call it, to be physically healthy, but it's not a seller. I can get frustrated with people I care about causing themselves severe harm by eating utter rubbish all the time, and tell them off for it, bluntly pointing out, for instance, their weight, but that doesn't mean I love 'em any less. If anything, it's proof of how much I care about them.

Quote from: finewine on August 04, 2009, 03:21:13 PM
Sounds like the right answer...but I challenge whether this is truly an honest answer for most people.

Finding a person physically attractive, sexually fulfilling and so on is not inferior to mental compatibility....and visa versa.  I'm unconvinced that there are many people out there who would disregard looks, sex, etc. and love just "the mind" of a partner.

It sounds lofty to assert that one is only interested in the intellectual because we fear sounding shallow if we say "actually I want to find my partner attractive too".  It's an irrational fear, in my opinion...and it leads us to hypocrisy.

Come on, seriously ... how many people here are genuinely saying they'd enjoy an intimate relationship with someone who they find hideously ugly?  If we're being honest with ourselves, I imagine most of us would admit that we want to look at our partner and not be repelled.

Similarly, you are either ok with a prospective partners genitalia or you're not...I doubt very much anyone would be able to ignore them just because the partner had a great mind or personality.  Especially genitalia, in fact, as bad-sex tension is hugely destructive in relationships.

I think I only fall for the mind after I fall for the body. 

Yeah I would, i'm pansexual so i don't care whats in your pants.

Quote from: Miniar on August 04, 2009, 03:43:22 PM
I don't really understand visually based physical attraction.
I don't really even understand being physically attracted to a physical attribute, to be honest.
I just don't get it.
[...]

So you believe you can be romantically in love with a brain in a jar (which, by extension, defines romance for you as purely intellectual in scope)?

If this is incorrect, how does it differ from your quoted statement?

This isn't an attack on your point of view, I'm genuinely interested because I clearly work very differently from you, dear boy

Quote from: Natasha on January 30, 2009, 04:01:13 PM
is it really shallow to want to go out with someone that you are physically attracted to? being able to sustain passion in a relationship is important. i don't think that's shallow. it's even worse when people deny it and pretend not to be, but they really are.

I don't think that I could, I love pussy too much lol

I find it goes the other way.  If there is no mental attraction, there's only a certain amount of time before they start bothering me.  To me passion streams from emotion, and if I can't make that connection, then the odds of us having enjoyable sex are slim slash none.