Are you for real? You mean there wasn't a time earlyish in your transition when people would call you "sir" if you were dressed in a Metallica tee shirt, old ripped up blue jeans with lots of grease stains, and beat up work boots changing the oil in your car? Well, bully for you. But some of us didn't transition when we were twelve years old.

Me: Yesterday I went to the climbing gym in the afternoon with some friends and had a good workout. I picked up some beer at the liquor store afterwards to relax with, and got ID'ed. I looked like crap, hair afright, pants covered in chalk, sweaty tee shirt, etc. The clerk had a little scanner that popped up the information from the driver's license stored in a a bar-code on the back, and when he scanned mine, he informed me that I had "some guy's ID."

Quote from: Alyssa M. on August 24, 2009, 02:45:57 PM
I looked like crap, hair afright, pants covered in chalk, sweaty tee shirt, etc. The clerk had a little scanner that popped up the information from the driver's license stored in a a bar-code on the back, and when he scanned mine, he informed me that I had "some guy's ID."

  How wonderful!   

- Kate

Quote from: Alyssa M. on August 24, 2009, 02:45:57 PM
Are you for real? You mean there wasn't a time earlyish in your transition when people would call you "sir" if you were dressed in a Metallica tee shirt, old ripped up blue jeans with lots of grease stains, and beat up work boots changing the oil in your car? Well, bully for you. But some of us didn't transition when we were twelve years old.

Me: Yesterday I went to the climbing gym in the afternoon with some friends and had a good workout. I picked up some beer at the liquor store afterwards to relax with, and got ID'ed. I looked like crap, hair afright, pants covered in chalk, sweaty tee shirt, etc. The clerk had a little scanner that popped up the information from the driver's license stored in a a bar-code on the back, and when he scanned mine, he informed me that I had "some guy's ID."

Who was the reply aimed at, you didn't say?. Hopefully not me as I've never owned a Metallica T shirt or ever worked on cars!

NB, my comment was aimed at you, and I was a little snippy because you seemed to be belittling the experience that some of us have struggling to get people to see us as female.

Your post in another topic helps explain where you were coming from. You seem to have a fairly atypical experience, at least compared to a lot of people here, and I apologize for not recognizing that.

Quote from: Alyssa M. on August 24, 2009, 02:45:57 PM
Me: Yesterday I went to the climbing gym in the afternoon with some friends and had a good workout. I picked up some beer at the liquor store afterwards to relax with, and got ID'ed. I looked like crap, hair afright, pants covered in chalk, sweaty tee shirt, etc. The clerk had a little scanner that popped up the information from the driver's license stored in a a bar-code on the back, and when he scanned mine, he informed me that I had "some guy's ID."

I was wondering why you had a guys ID? I changed all my ID over years ago when I started my transition.

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Post Merge: August 25, 2009, 12:48:37 AM

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Quote from: Alyssa M. on August 24, 2009, 08:09:13 PM
NB, my comment was aimed at you, and I was a little snippy because you seemed to be belittling the experience that some of us have struggling to get people to see us as female.

Your post in another topic helps explain where you were coming from. You seem to have a fairly atypical experience, at least compared to a lot of people here, and I apologize for not recognizing that.

I don't think I've ever been belittling anyone. We all have different experiences through transition. The working on cars sinario was quite funny as I have never been able to do stuff like that and can't even put up a shelf properly. Also I've never listened to bands like Metallica and my musical taste is more what you call middle of the road. You certainly had a strange analogy of me being some kind of heavy rocker considering you know absolutely nothing about me. 

I don't think Alyssa was trying to describe you specifically as much as she was just describing a general state of not having made a specific attempt to appear feminine.

Laura, yes, you are correct. I was engaging in a bit of hyperbole based on NB's earlier comments about "not getting glammed for anything;" that was about as "un-glammed" an image as I could conjure up, that's all. But, NB, I understand you've had a different experience, and how that has affected your understanding of those of us who might identify with the idea in this thread. I just didn't understand before you explained it in recent posts.

The reason I have a male ID is that I'm only a little ways into transition, about half a year on hrt and nowhere near seeing any surgury as an option. I haven't yet changed my name. I have more important things to deal with. I'll probably change it around the beginning of next year, when my current license expires anyway. But the hassle of a legal name change isn't something I can deal with right now.

Quote from: Alyssa M. on August 25, 2009, 06:51:48 PM
Laura, yes, you are correct. I was engaging in a bit of hyperbole based on NB's earlier comments about "not getting glammed for anything;" that was about as "un-glammed" an image as I could conjure up, that's all. But, NB, I understand you've had a different experience, and how that has affected your understanding of those of us who might identify with the idea in this thread. I just didn't understand before you explained it in recent posts.

The reason I have a male ID is that I'm only a little ways into transition, about half a year on hrt and nowhere near seeing any surgury as an option. I haven't yet changed my name. I have more important things to deal with. I'll probably change it around the beginning of next year, when my current license expires anyway. But the hassle of a legal name change isn't something I can deal with right now.

For me personally changing my name was a priority and very important. I did get pulled up in supermarkets when I still had a male ID in 2002. If they looked at my card they would sometimes ask who's card was it as it was a guy's card. I said it was mine and they didn't believe me. One time I got arrested as they thought I had stolen it. So I changed my ID to avoid these problems but at that time I wasn't yet in transition and surprised by it. I thought at that time I probably looked more like Jon Bon Jovi than a female. 

As for 'glammed' I have never glammed up for anything and prefer casual clothes and very little make up and I always try and look natural.

I dislike going out and about without makeup, jewelry, and a cute top and shoes, lol.  But on the rare occasion that I just don't give a damn, I'm still referred to as ma'am or miss.  The natural look works for some women.  But I really enjoy putting makeup on in the morning, fixing my hair, deciding which earrings work for this outfit and what shoes would compliment the look without leaving blisters on my feet.  I never go overboard and look inappropriate.  But I feel very confident when I'm ready for the day.  It somehow feels lazy of me not to go through my little ritual.

I even remember in high school, I was the only girl who'd spiral curl her hair in the morning just for school.  It caught on and I noticed more girls coming in with the same hairstyle, haha.

Quote from: Maiden on August 26, 2009, 07:35:26 AM
I even remember in high school, I was the only girl who'd spiral curl her hair in the morning just for school.  It caught on and I noticed more girls coming in with the same hairstyle, haha.

So you were a really early transitioner?

Quote from: Naturally Blonde on August 26, 2009, 12:07:19 PM
So you were a really early transitioner?

I pushed the limits in HS.  I wore my hair long, wore girl clothes, very little bit of makeup, was "one of the girls" with the party chicks (woo! lol) though my name was not changed and people didn't refer to me as 'she' unless they didn't know me.  If by transition you mean HRT, no.  If by transition you mean openly embracing my inner female, yes.  I took baby steps rather than suddenly one day proclaiming to be a woman.

Quote from: Maiden on August 26, 2009, 03:50:45 PM
I pushed the limits in HS.  I wore my hair long, wore girl clothes, very little bit of makeup, was "one of the girls" with the party chicks (woo! lol) though my name was not changed and people didn't refer to me as 'she' unless they didn't know me.  If by transition you mean HRT, no.  If by transition you mean openly embracing my inner female, yes.  I took baby steps rather than suddenly one day proclaiming to be a woman.

Did your school administration support you in this?

Quote from: xsocialworker on August 26, 2009, 04:29:04 PM
Did your school administration support you in this?

I did what I wanted really... it's not like I'd be expelled for wearing pink.  It was never an issue for them.

Quote from: Maiden on August 26, 2009, 04:58:26 PM
I did what I wanted really... it's not like I'd be expelled for wearing pink.  It was never an issue for them.

can I ask what state or community

 

Today, I went shopping in town.   

Nothing too unusual in that except it was my first full public outing as Pippa.

I have gone out in female attire before but usually I tone things right down with jeans and a T shirt, flats and no jewellery.   Today it was the full me, make up, heels, jewellery, the whole nine yards.

I was extremely apprehensive going into the mall as it was extremely busy (today is a Monday holiday in the UK).   I was imagining lots of rude comments and the fixed stares of strangers.

I shouldn't have worried.   I am sure I didn't completely pass but I certainly wasn't the centre of attention and the world carried on around me as if I was there in drab.

As someone with little personal confidence, the whole experience was a great.    I had a good wander round several stores, made a couple of small purchases and generally enjoyed myself for a few hours.

This has been a great boost in my confidence to become the real me and I see it as a strong move towards my full transition.   It is going to happen again soon.

Pippa

Quote from: waistclincher on August 31, 2009, 11:00:41 AM
I was extremely apprehensive going into the mall as it was extremely busy (today is a Monday holiday in the UK).   I was imagining lots of rude comments and the fixed stares of strangers.

I shouldn't have worried.   I am sure I didn't completely pass but I certainly wasn't the centre of attention and the world carried on around me as if I was there in drab.

Good for you, Pippa.  My first time out I thought everyone would stare, alarms would go off, and the gender police would rush in and cart me off.  But everyone ignored me.  It was very disappointing.

------------------

Today I went to a Mexican restaurant in town that I had been going to for years.  I know most of the staff by name.  I had stopped going a couple of months ago because they still called me señor and amigo despite my appearance.  I was hardly glammed – a little eye makeup but otherwise bare-faced, with chinos, t-shirt, and a light jacket.  (Not like I'd just come from climbing, but not at my most lovely, either. )

The manager obviously recognized me but didn't use any gender-specific language.  The chip girl called me amiga but then gave me the hairy eyeball.  (She tends to look at people that way anyway, so it may not mean anything.)  The waitress, who had been very friendly with my spouse, called me amiga and evidently didn't recognize me.  Another waiter called me ma'am.

As I was leaving, one of the waiters I know better than the others, wished me a good day in a very friendly way, obviously recognizing me but avoiding any gender-specific language.

Not bad.  You've come a long way, baby.

- Kate

Stopped at the Salvation Army store yesterday and saw an old friend (she was my "girlfriend" in the sense two girls would have been when I was 19, 20 and we bump into each other occasionally over the years).

She said "I didn't recognize you"
I said "most don't now days"
"I see you got your hair done and stuff, what's up?"
"That might be more answer than you really want"
"Well, just go ahead and tell me it's alright"
"Do you know what a transsexual is?"
"Yeah"
"Well I was fighting against it before I ever met you and I just decided to stop fighting"
"cool"

If she was offended or put off, I certainly couldn't tell. I'm thinking about trying to get her e-mail and may renew the "girlfriend" relationship if she's willing.

Quote from: Alyssa M. on August 24, 2009, 08:09:13 PMI was a little snippy because you seemed to be belittling the experience that some of us have struggling to get people to see us as female.

Gee, I never had to struggle. I woke up one day and said I'm a woman and the world never saw me as male again. 

I have to go now.  Time to shave.  My five o'clock shadow is peeking through my makeup.   

Julie

Amazing, I'm looking forward to get ma'amed too, someday (next year after my FFS, maybe).
For the time being, I get the blue ("male") button pushed everytime I go to a convenience store...
I'm looking forward to the day when I see the pink button being pushed...

These stories are great im glad the world is becoming a more open minded place