This is a good thread.

I was freaked out the first time a MTF showed interest in me, let's just say I was NOT interested and remain NOT interested, fairly recently 6-8 months ago) I've had MTFs show interest in me and well, my reaction is Eww. But, seeing how many of my FTM brothers are interested in other FTMs and in bio-males, I guess it makes sense. Somehow there's a difference between opposite genders relating, and same genders. I'm a plain old straight guy who got stuck with a female body, now doing something about it, and I like girls! Especially streight girls. I'm very simple that way. But at least I think I can understand the idea of wanting to become male and be with males, or become female and be with females.

There's something to be said about the percentages ... as a lesbian you're "hunting ground" is something like 5% of the population, as a gay male probably 20% of males since they're generally more flexible "No I'm not gay I just poke guys once in a while" lol. I'm gonna love being on the fat end of the percentages myself, I've seen straight girls look at me interestedly so many times then get disappointed when they saw I was another chick, Oh darn I can almost hear them saying.

Just understand in your case that a lot of lesbians will NOT understand and most will not be interested, and no amount of body mods and training will earn you an automatic in.

I'm currently in a very amazing relationship, with a very amazing lesbian.  Who is very much nuts about me.  And vice versa.

So I'm not sure I agree with Alex_C's assessment.  Everything just depends on the people involved.

We actually don't disagree as much as you think, if at all, you're lucky to find someone so compatible.

Sadly, I"m gonna get some slings and arrows for this, but with me I think this is the case.

Frankly when they're a foot taller than me and want to sweep me up in their arms, me no like.

Err, no, that's the simple truth. I"m 5'4", and no matter how hard I hit the T and free weights I'll never have anything like a real peepee. To many I won't be a real man.

Do I expect ALL women to consider me desirable? Heck no! Do I hope that SOME will? I think that's a realistic expectation. And likewise, a given MTF can expect SOME lesbians to find them hot, just not ALL lesbians.

This is all so basic I can't believe it has to be explained.

Quote from: Alex_C on September 06, 2009, 05:09:23 PM
This is all so basic I can't believe it has to be explained.

You don't have to be rude.  Everyone is entitled to their preferences, but if someone, for example, said how they didn't want to date the Irish, "ewww", that would be offensive to Irish people because "eww" implies an immense disgust.  It's also rather childish.  No one is forcing you to like MtF.  But show some respect.

Quote from: Alex_C on September 06, 2009, 05:09:23 PM
Err, no, that's the simple truth. I"m 5'4", and no matter how hard I hit the T and free weights I'll never have anything like a real peepee. To many I won't be a real man.

Do I expect ALL women to consider me desirable? Heck no! Do I hope that SOME will? I think that's a realistic expectation. And likewise, a given MTF can expect SOME lesbians to find them hot, just not ALL lesbians.

This is all so basic I can't believe it has to be explained.

Well initially you said a lot of lesbians won't find a MTF woman attractive.  Which I thought was quite negative to say to a forum with a lot of MTFers.  And since anecdotally I haven't found that to be true at all.  I wanted to provide a counter point so people could have a more full idea.  Because honestly what is a FTM going to know about the dating chances of a MTF?

I mean if we're just going to make rash generalizations, I would imagine it's much harder for straight FTMs than straight MTFs.  It's much more competitive in terms of if you hit on me, you're probably one of maybe 10-15 guys that night.  Whereas if a girl hits on you, it's maybe one of one.  You have to initiate anything you want on that end.  And since you're shorter than a lot of the women you're hitting on, it's a bit of an uphill battle I would imagine.

I don't see any issue here, being lesbian means you prefer women, and that is not in contradiction with the fact that you prefer having a female body as well.

By a lot I mean just that, a lot won't find an MTF attractive. But that still leaves a number, perhaps a substantial number, who will.

I notice there are not a lot of straight bio-guys who are with women taller than they are, bigger stronger etc and no one criticizes their tastes or preferences.

Now that I am transitioning I'm noticing more and more biomen who are my haight or even shorter, and they seem to be with gals roughly their size or a bit shorter. There's quite a variety of people out there and sheesh some gals are 6' tall or taller and guess what? They're with tall guys.

And why am I shorter than "a lot of the girls I'm hitting on"?? Are you dreaming about me again? The truth is, I really don't hit on girls taller than I am.

And Eww goes all ways. Tons of women look at me and go Eww. Deal with it.

If you don't deal with it, you end up like one tall, large, MTF who used to go to the same bar I used to, and felt that she had gone through all this stuff and become female-bodied, I had an obligation to be interested in her. That's getting into crazy-stalker territory my friends. Her attitude that she had a RIGHT to my attention which made her a very EWW person to me. I actually stopped going to the bar because of this person pursuing me (and I think probably a few others).

No amount of surgery and no amount of political maneuvering and justification and postering can MAKE a person like you. You really can't make a person like you, they like you or they don't.

When someone says, "a lot of guys just don't find black chicks attractive," that's just plain old racist, aside from being totally irrelevant, since just as many don't find white chicks hot.

When you say, "a lot of lesbians won't find MtF's* attractive," first off, how the heck should you know? Second, is your problem with tall women (because you're short) or with women who look masculine (because you are into feminine women) or is it just plain old transphobia? Because it has to be one. If it's any of the first two, so be it. I'm happy being half a foot taller than you, and my girlfriend is only an inch shorter, and I like that we pretty much the same height, and she thinks I'm cute and I think she's cute, so everyone else can shove it

But if you say that because of your transphobia, get over it: Quit internalizing the negative images of trans people from the larger society and try to change those images.

What on earth does any of that have to do with this topic anyway? How does that have any bearing on whether someone is a lesbian or straight? Wouldn't the same argument apply if the topic were. "why am I a m2f straight girl?" Do you just have a problem with lesbians in general?

Also, based on my sample size of the handful of trans lesbians I've known or am, we seem to be getting plenty of action. I've had plenty more romantic possibilities opening up in the short time since I started living as a woman than I ever had before. You are totally wrong about those percentages too, and the notion that men are more likely to be "flexible," as you put it. Quite the contrary. I know lots more women who like to "taste the rainbow" than men. Lots and lots and lots more. As to the "body mod" statement, girls I know who have dated trans women have been rather pleased with the "permanent strap-on."

But thanks for playing. Better luck next time.




* Allow me to express my hatred for that terminology, "MtF" or "M2F" or whatever; I'm not an acronym, thank you. I'm a woman. If you must specify that I'm trans, you can say I'm a trans woman.

I do agree that m2f or mtf is inelegant.  But I suppose it's okay when discussing specific transgender issues within the trans community.

Quote from: SarahFaceDoom on September 08, 2009, 01:39:59 AM
I do agree that m2f or mtf is inelegant.  But I suppose it's okay when discussing specific transgender issues within the trans community.

Sure, it's just a term you use when you want to be specific, there is no need to be particularly upset about it.
For example "I'm a lesbian MTF" is shorter than "I am a lesbian woman born in a male body, transitioning to female".

But of course, I agree that, unless specifically required, once the transition is over, "MTF" can be dropped for "woman", because transition is only a transitory state after all.

"taste the rainbow" lol 

The actuality is that if I met a PERSON, who was attractive to me, then I'd want to be with that PERSON. That's on a person-to-person basis. Theoretically there's some 5'2" MTF out there who'd bowl me over. But the mentality that I'm obligated to date a person because because because... BEEEEP you lose!

Quote from: Alex_C on September 08, 2009, 04:08:56 AM
But the mentality that I'm obligated to date a person because because because... BEEEEP you lose!

No one is saying that.

Quote from: Alyssa M. on September 08, 2009, 12:32:52 AM
When someone says, "a lot of guys just don't find black chicks attractive," that's just plain old racist, aside from being totally irrelevant, since just as many don't find white chicks hot.

It depends on their reasoning. It may or may not be racist.
It can be a preference. Some people like BBW's some don't. Some like tan girls, some don't. Some like tall, some like small. if you don't like redheads, you simply don't like redheads.

Quote from: Leslie Ann on September 08, 2009, 04:46:28 AM
It depends on their reasoning. It may or may not be racist.
It can be a preference. Some people like BBW's some don't. Some like tan girls, some don't. Some like tall, some like small. if you don't like redheads, you simply don't like redheads.

Exactly.  I prefer Arab men.  But I'm not wrinkling my nose and going "ewwww" if a white man or a Latino man or an Asian man is interested in me.  I wouldn't be dating if that were the case, lol.