Quote from: Deanna_Renee on September 14, 2009, 12:27:44 AM
I will (try) to stop dwelling, dreaming, wishing and hoping to change the past and be happy right now - because I am. 

That's what I'm trying to do, hehe. It's not working too well.

My impression, understanding (both personal as well as professional), and life experiences tell me that the people who accomplish the most are never better adjusted, but perhaps worse.  Nor are they happier - in fact, its discontent that keeps them pushing for more.

There's the old tortured genius cliche, but I don't believe it. I've spent some time around some extremely accomplished people, and as far as I can tell there is no correlation, positive or negative, between being highly accomplished and being happy. Consider Richard Feynmann versus Paul Dirac as a classic case in contrasts. Or Einstein versus Godel. And I've met scores upon scores of ordinary, mediocre people whom I could pair up similarly.

Someone once told me the difference between cops and fireman (and why one group tends to be d*cks, while the other group tends to be heroes) is that when something bad happens to a cop, he/she can take it out on the next person, and the next person, and the next person after that.  When something goes wrong at a fire, all they can do is try to be better next time.

Some things take a while to get right, you have to go back and do it again and again, and again.  All you can do is keep on that path and keep working on it. Some of my photos, like the Custom House lights, I kept going back to and shooting over and over again till I got the shot I liked.

But most of life is more like my job - one night only.  And if you don't get it right, you don't get to redo it.  All you can do is try to do better next time, and not sweat it in-between.

There are some things I did as a guy that I wouldn't trade for the world. The tears in folks eyes and sincere thank yous made some things worth while.

Other than that I wish I would have transitioned much earlier

Quote from: tekla on September 14, 2009, 12:57:30 AM
Someone once told me the difference between cops and fireman (and why one group tends to be d*cks, while the other group tends to be heroes) is that when something bad happens to a cop, he/she can take it out on the next person, and the next person, and the next person after that.  When something goes wrong at a fire, all they can do is try to be better next time.

I never was a cop or a fireman, but I was in both the Army (combat branch) and Coast Guard.  The difference in organizational attitude was amazing between being ready to defend yourself and kill a few bad guys versus risking your life to save others.

A cop deals with miscreants, angry people, and victims.  A fireman deals with things and trying to save people in distress.  There is a difference and that difference will affect the organizational and individual attitude.

Yeah, I've run into some cops who aren't handling the job very well, but I've also run into plenty who are doing an amazing job of being professional and personally balanced under difficult circumstances.  The same was true in the Army.  Some people didn't handle the stress well and did awful things, but there were many others who managed to make it through horrible circumstances without losing their humanity.

And now, back to the regularly scheduled thread....

- Kate

"How well had you been able to immerse
yourself into your societal role as a male?"

-Not very well at all. I was able to attain a well-respected job and I still have it as a female but all the stereotypical "guy" stuff was beyond me and very few guys would pal around with me. Fine, I had almost all GG friends anyway.

"Do you consider the lifestyle you choose (vocation,
personality...) to have been uber-masculine?"
- Network Admin, not really ultra masculine.

"Did you merely blend in or would you consider
your performance to have been "over the top"?"
- I guess I blended in but everything about being male felt scripted and fake, so maybe that is what put off other guys.

"Are there things which you were able to accomplish
as a male which you are proud of, things which
society might consider unladylike, which you found
satisfaction in being able to accomplish?"
- I was able to develop not a muscular but an extremely fit body though it was small. Tennis was maybe my ultimate accomplishment that may be categorized in those terms. I developed an extreme power game that looked strange coming from such a small person but was coveted by other males.

"Do you feel less of a woman because of the things you
were able to accomplish and perhaps may still enjoy doing?"
-Not at all. I hate that attitude that some have that would force them into a false compliance with stereotypical female behavior and preferences. My GG friends would never fit any of those stereotypes and I have a lot of GG friends. I still enjoy tennis though I am not able to use all of the power I had before because of the HRT (technique still produces a lot though). When I feel a little stronger I will climb mountains again.

"What do you feel the chances are that you may have become
involved with an activity which you now may enjoy if you had
been born female bodied or been allowed to transition early?"

"Given a choice would you trade your life experience to
have been able to transition in your teens or twenties?"
-That is hard to say, it would have avoided much anguish but chances are I would have none of the friends I now have and it would have been much harder since I would have had vastly fewer resources and wisdom. I do feel a sense of loss and waste however. And no denying the HRT would have been much more beneficial.