I have some hesitation in me.
My partner is someone who accepts me as I am, respects me, and loves me deeply, and is honest enough with me and himself to say, straight out, that there's no way that we'll ever know exactly what testosterone will do to our relationship. We have every intention to stay together as well as we can, but if this change in me will lead either one of us to just not be attracted to the other any more... then we'll have to split up.
It's terrifying.
Top that off with a healthy serving of "What if my X decides (with plenty of help from his adopted mother) to use this as a way to to try and take my daughter away from me (and put her in the hands of his adopted mother who's already messed three people up so bad they can't manage their own lives)?"... well.. I'm sure you see what I'm getting at.
Then there's the simple fact that I do not know exactly what it'll do to me and my body. I have a pretty good idea, but no two people are affected exactly, 100%, the same by any medication, so I needed to be absolutely sure I wanted to chance that unknown before I sought help.
But I didn't "hesitate" per say, I sought information and chose to wait 'till I was sure.
The hesitation I have within my mind is outweighed about a thousand times over by my sheer need to do this. I'm pushing to get my T but even now that I'm dead certain that this is what I want to do. I'm dead certain I'm ready to make that step. I still have to face the fact that the Icelandic system tells me that I have to wait up to a year (usually it's a year, no ifs ands or buts, but I've been out amongst friends for a long time so there's a chance I can shave a couple of months off that), while I go about my business, same as usual (as real life experience), before they'll give me the prescription.