Welp.
Bit the bullet, faced the music, etc etc.
Went to see my dad this afternoon. Told him I felt like even though I expected it to be a very difficult conversation, he was bound to hear something eventually - he told me (without details) he already had.
now, I won't get too gory here - my father is a very....strong personality. It is in his very nature to assume that he is absolutely right about pretty much everything he has a view on and trying to change his mind (about literally anything) is a massive undertaking.
And yes, he disapproves.
But I told him I didn't come there to make him understand, or to change his mind, or to win his support - rather just to be honorable enough to tell him to his face.
Now, he's learned over the many years that he makes a mistake when he approaches any issue with "let me tell you, son, just where you are wrong" - partly because I don't tend to take his advice and partly because a lot of the things he would criticize he has less standing to now (for reasons I need not tangent into here).
so he bit his tongue a bit (a LOT for him) because we both knew I knew what he wanted to sayand picked at the edges, so to speak.
it ended up being a remarkably civil conversation given the potential for much worse.
The fun part for me was when I made points he had to concede. One example:
He had told me, in the process of making a different point, that his testosterone level had dropped some months ago and he was now having to take shots to keep it up in the proper range.
A half hour or so later when we were talking about potential "treatments" he ask me if I had had my T level checked and couldn't it just be that it was off was why I felt that way?
I relied, "First of all, you and I both know that I exibit, physically, if anything too much testosterone - just look at the massive amounts of hair. but more to the point, when your T level dropped, did you suddenly get an urge to paint your nails?"
He said, "Well....you have a point"
He had to say that 4 or 5 times this afternoon and that's a hard sentence to draw out of my dad.
Still and all, I'm VERY relieved to have that BEHIND me. it was NOT something I'd much like to do again.
***
That just leaves my brother, among those I consider important enough to tell face to face...and I'm not worried about his reaction, it's just the logistics of getting together.
