I'm not sure if I 'belong' over here, but I'm basically a male who does strongly wish he was born female. However, I've never done anything like dress like one or anything like that. And please don't be offended, but that kind of stuff really scares me (I know there's nothing wrong with it; it's perfectly fine). I don't know for me it would have to be everything or nothing. If surgery could be done so well that no one would ever be able to tell who I used to be, I think I would strongly consider it. But that doesn't seem to be the case, is it? I'd rather stay as a guy than be something that's not completely the opposite. Also, I'm actually straight, but what you might call a 'male lesbian'. I wish I was a girl that was into girls, and that is both sexually and culturally. I don't even really have the desire for normal sex with women. I'm pretty curious if there's anyone else that would call themselves 'male lesbian' here. Also, if anyone has any tips, please help me out. Thanks 

EDIT: After reading another thread, I feel that 'male lesbian' is a bad term to use. Well I'll try to describe it a little more without using a label for now. I hate being male, I love feminism (but hate when a guy acts that way which is a catch 22), and am attracted only to women, but not in a normal relationship. I'd really wish I was female, and even the more passive one in a relationship.

Hi Nightwish,

Welcome to our little family. Over 3200 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

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Blessed Be.
Janet

Hi Nightwish,

Welcome to Susan's !

There is nothing wrong with the way you feel about all this, in fact I think you will find that a good proportion of the people here have fought the way they feel for a good part of their lives, and have been more than a little scared by it.... to the point of risking their lives.

This way of life is not a choice, so you need to discover if this is just a passing sexual fantasy, or if the feelings run deeper than you may have thought.....we are here to help in any way we can. 

Chrissty

Thanks for the welcome, Chrissty. Well, I am becoming more and more certain that it is more than just some fantasy. I've always conformed to society and acted like a regular guy, albeit very timid and nervous. I've always felt much different on the inside, and I wasn't sure what it was until recently. I'm very afraid to act the way I really am, except sometimes online. I feel that I've repressed my personality, and had to just go along with what all the other guys were doing my whole life. Only people that know me really well have pointed out that I have a ton of feminine traits. I told a couple of people what I thought I was, and one or two actually weren't even surprised at all; which tells me that there probably is a lot of truth to it. One friend even talks to me hypothetically on the subject of if I ever actually changed genders. I feel that I've enjoyed talking about it a little too much like coming up with a new name for one thing 

Just see how it goes honey..

..and most importantly....don't try to rush things



Chrissty

Welcome to Susan's.  It's a good place to explore what you are feeling.

I was a closeted cross-dresser much of my life.  Since I was obviously male I didn't think I could ever be female.  I even wore a full beard much of my adult life because I knew I could never pass as a woman.  Today, five months into transition, an older woman stranger told me a story while we were both waiting, patting my forearm as she talked (as women of our age do ), and a deputy asked if my last name was my maiden name.   I thought: Well, I guess I do pass sometimes.

I resonate with much of your story.  That doesn't mean you want to do what I'm doing.  It just means that your story isn't all that unusual here.  It is unique to you, but it is similar to that of many of us.

Look around.  Explore.  There are nice people here who may be able to help you discover who you really are.

- Kate