Gays and lesbians get the inverse of that from ignorant folks too: "he just wants to be a woman" or, "she just wants to be a man". Equally irritating for them.

Dennis

There's 2 things that are implied that really irritate me about the above statement.
1. A transsexual is not really the gender they identify as and never will be
2. Transition is done purely for the sexual motivation and benefit of being with a man.

My thoughts on that regarding myself are "I guess you're right, I do love being with women", which shoots down both assumptions.

Melissa

It's simple..I wanna be a man...and not just for sexual reasons..I want to have a child one day that will not suffer because of my past...that's why I could never think of myself as a lesbian. I respect them but I don't belong there...I respect women with (socially assigned)male behavioural characteristics...(army,police..etc.) ..most often it's not strength but strategy that matters..
Ok I'm a bit offtopic..will shut up now

buddy Andre

Think of that statement first.... Transexuals are just Gay.....  that comes from a person that obviously doesn't understand ....period.   they don't know what a transexual is so they are trying to put a Lable on it for identification purposes...
its better to let them know that a transexual is not a gay person but a person of one sex in the body of the other sex....   it has nothing to do with sexual fanticies or preferance, likes or dislikes.... its something completely seperate.
Now with THAT ground rule layed out you can proceede... some may well go off to be gay, and some may not ... but it is a seperate thing to be Transexual and to be gay
....I think its a natural secqueance of events for a Transexual to become BI  in their transision.  once fully transisioned it would also be natural to become completely GAY from the outsiders view point.  another words transisioning to female you would like males and transisioning to male you would like females....
  thats only natural,  weather or not it happens or not depends completely upon the person. and a great deal of time .

..."Transexuals are just Gay" sounds like a statement from the 1950's   all brawn and no brains, Macho all the way.... the world is black and white and no shades of grey...
.... geez sounds like my father ! <blush>  hehehehehhe
Not a statement of Extream inteligance... so when you hear it "laugh out loud" because it is a silly statement !   and only denotes the persons ignerance who says something like that.
  .....

My 2 coppers!

Bob.....

It may be ignorance Bob, but that doesn't mean it still isn't hurtful.

Melissa

Meh. I see no reason why I should be hurt from other people's ignorance.

The point is if you know they are wrong and they do not why be hurt?
What part did you have in their education?
WHY be hurt for their point of view?

^*shrug* Perhaps I am missing something...

While it's easy to look at it objectively from a logical point of view, there can be some unrealized hurt that may be dealt.

It's like somebody calling you a name.  You know the name is unbefitting, but just by itself the fact that you were called a name may be hurtful.  You may begin to question yourself.

I'm not talking about myself, but more emphatically towards others.

Melissa

Quote from: Kimberly on September 06, 2006, 04:45:09 PM
Meh. I see no reason why I should be hurt from other people's ignorance.

The point is if you know they are wrong and they do not why be hurt?
What part did you have in their education?
WHY be hurt for their point of view?

^*shrug* Perhaps I am missing something...

Very true Kimberly but while we can often ignore and tolerate the ignorance, it's the words that are sometimes hurtful especially if they are directed at a person.  Obviously this is not in all cases, as being thought of as gay or lesbian is not the end of the world.  However, change the word "gay" to pedophile, pervert, sex maniac, pathetic, lowlife, and you get the drift.  Ignorance can have devastating consequences.

Steph

Yeah, I know. But the above is what runs though my head.
I REFUSE to be held hostage by them.
An THAT is what I always end up with.
An yes, I hash the situation out a thousand times to justify who was right.
An you can always feel the hurt. I do not think there is such a thing as unrealized hurt, unacknowledged, yes.
Meh. Don't mind me. Sand in the wind and all that.
Posted on: September 06, 2006, 03:04:21 PM

---

Quote from: Steph on September 06, 2006, 05:01:07 PM...
However, change the word "gay" to pedophile, pervert, sex maniac, pathetic, lowlife, and you get the drift.
...

^*sigh* No, for me, the word used changes nothing.
Chock it up to a difference of opinion.

Look, to me the whole thing is just people that know me, should know me. Know that all these years of being trans through conversations of when I lived as a man the first time, knowing everything about me and that I have been with only straight women and never identified as lesbian, needs to count. I don't have this problem with outsiders. Not now. When I was married to a man and outsiders found this out and also that I had kids they were very surprised, asumming I was gay because of my physical appearance. It didn't bother me so much then because I was not transitioning then. This is here, and now. And I expect everyone around me to see me for who I am. The only ones who will be cut any slack are my kids. Period.
               
                                                 Marco

Quote from: Kimberly on September 06, 2006, 05:06:50 PM
Yeah, I know. But the above is what runs though my head.
I REFUSE to be held hostage by them.
An THAT is what I always end up with.
An yes, I hash the situation out a thousand times to justify who was right.
An you can always feel the hurt. I do not think there is such a thing as unrealized hurt, unacknowledged, yes.
Meh. Don't mind me. Sand in the wind and all that.
Posted on: September 06, 2006, 03:04:21 PM

---

Quote from: Steph on September 06, 2006, 05:01:07 PM...
However, change the word "gay" to pedophile, pervert, sex maniac, pathetic, lowlife, and you get the drift.
...

^*sigh* No, for me, the word used changes nothing.
Chock it up to a difference of opinion.

I guess

Steph

Very true Milissa !
so toughen yourself up and let that sort of thing roll off.... like water on a ducks back!

very little about my fellow man is GOOD   sad but true... so we must arm ourselves with a thick hide  and a strong back.

you could alwayse just punch some guy out for saying that Milissa but I doubt that would cure a thing but give you alot of sadisifaction... and to be quite frank it doesn't matter what sexual perswasion you are.... its none of their business anyway...
Handleing the day to day life Normially... is hard enough to add transexuality to the equasion makes it even harder....  its a wonder any of you come out of it with all of your oats in your feed bag ! ....
   I had it easy in comparison to what you have to put up with ... I dunno how you can do it.... but I do know you have to be strong, and tough to put up with it !

  While i was working for a liveing i had a saying... " Life is a Joke ... don't take it too seriously ,because you can't get out of it alive ! "
but i have sense changed my tune to one of a diferent color... one without sayings...
one of actions instead of words... i don't alwayse do it but i try...
....


this just popped into my head..


" help where help is needed, sympthy where due,
Love in ALL cornors, and compashion for you...
  Never be discouraged, till the battle is done.
there is alwayse tomarrow for the race to be won.
  Put on your best armor and take up your sharp sword,
for life is a crossing thats not easy to ford.
  For arrows will asail you, your armor to pearce,
your determination be steadfast, and your countinence fearce.
  Life isn't easy I'm sorry to say,
it will hurt and torment you to the end of your day
  but giveing up.... is no answer true !
be strong and stout harted, is the answer for you!
  You can be stronger than you'll ever know
to brave the wilds and push through the snow.
  take pride in your being, your hopes to full fill
you are one in a million, let your doubts be still.



( I'm a Poet and I knowit, My feet showit their Longfellows.... <wiggles his toes> )

Remember , If you Think you are worthy of critisizems YOU WILL GET Critisizem!
   if you think  of your self as less of a person than most you will be treeted as such ... the socioty we live in is a very unforgiveing place...  aproach it like the warrior it is.... take no chances, show no weakness... face it as an equil that carries a big stick.

  You are what you make yourself to be....Inspite of life...

more coppers!<grin>
Bob........


Posted on: September 06, 2006, 05:31:19 PM

---

geez I type slow  in the time it took me to respond 5 other people posted ! HAHAHHAHAHA

What Kimberly Is saying is correct. right down to the wire,  You must alow someone to hurt your feelings....  its a Permission given sort of thing....
  IF you care nothing for the individual it is easy to say so what to his comments right ?
its those that are close to you that you have given "Permission " to that realy hurt the most.... 
   the cure is tighten up the noose on the permission ! 

Kimberly can be as detached as a doctor at times... and uses this detachment for her benifit... a nessarry skill in life I think.
I wish I could master it so well ! <GRIN>

....
someone yelling "Hay Freek" out the window of a speeding car should not hurt your feelings in the least.   just an aframation of mans total deparvity !. thats all.
if Your feelings are constantly being hurt  YOU are at fault... not for the coments but for them bothering you in the first place.   understand ?
   it takes a thick skin to survive... 
Bob........

Marco,

Dude really need not worry, if your life goes as I suspect it will, only a idiot would even bother calling you a lesbian, because quite simply the world goes with what they see, and those who are doing this BS will look like total fools in the eyes of people in very short order!!  And they will feel like fools themselves. Get the fools out of your life, period.  You owe no one but yourself and your kids and your true friends anything.

Peace,
Taylor

Quote from: KarenTink, I second your shrink's advice.  Cultivate the people who support you, and stay as far away from the toxics as possible.

Karen

Thanks so much, Karen.  I started doing that about two years ago; it is not easy to tell you the truth, but in the long run it will definetely be.

Thanks very much you for your concern!

tinkerbell

Hello, Everyone,

Last week was the first time that I posted on here and in my eagerness to share something I made two huge errors and broke at least two rules.

1.  I posted a link in the wrong place and in the wrong way;

2.  I did a quick cut-and-paste of an article.  Although I gave the source I did not have written permission.

I did wrong.

I hope that I am doing this right.

TS Roadmap has a page that deals with being gender dysphoric, TS, wrongbodied and homosexuality.  The notion of autogynophyllia, the basis for calling transsexuality gay, is discussed there.

This was the article that I cut and pasted.  Since being duly advised by our moderator I went to the owner of TS Roadmap.  She wrote to me advising that I should have taken an excerpt and told where the rest of the article was.

There is also an organization that advocates fair legal treatment and medical help for gender dysphoric people, transsexual people called TS Symposium.  Some might find it informative.

How did I do?  I hope that I broke no rules.

Thanks.

PK

Ah, this was confusing to me for a long time.   I've always known I was gay, but I just couldn't express how being attracted to men meant I was gay if I had a woman's body...  So for me it's the reverse, when someone says I must just be gay, they're right, but not the way they think they are.

PK, you did fine.

Mikko, I think it would have been easier figuring out what was wrong with me  if I had been attracted to guys growing up.  Oh well.

Melissa

Quote from: Melissa on September 09, 2006, 11:15:26 AM

LOL I am beginning to love this little character here!  cute and funny!

tinkerbell
Posted on: September 09, 2006, 01:10:20 PM

---

Quote from: Melissa on September 09, 2006, 11:15:26 AM
I think it would have been easier figuring out what was wrong with me  if I had been attracted to guys growing up.
Melissa

It is never too late to start!

tinkerbell

Quote from: Tinkerbell on September 09, 2006, 01:12:27 PM

Quote from: Melissa on September 09, 2006, 11:15:26 AM
I think it would have been easier figuring out what was wrong with me  if I had been attracted to guys growing up.
Melissa

It is never too late to start!

I assume you we're referring to figuring out what was wrong with me.

Melissa

Quote from: Melissa on September 09, 2006, 03:43:55 PM
I assume you we're referring to figuring out what was wrong with me.

Melissa

No, I was actually referring to "your always there" ability to like men!

tinkerbell