I had a hard time with this one. I ended up answering "neither", which isn't really right but is the closest.

When I was growing up, I had been told that I was a boy, dressed like a boy, treated like a boy, given boy's toys, and all of that stuff. I never felt right being a boy and always looked at the girls and wanted to be one of them, but they never really accepted me (Ewww! a Boy! icky). I had been convinced that I was supposed to be a boy, but could never figure out how I was supposed to act, or what the deal was with so many of the things that 'boys' are 'supposed' to be interested in or act like.

As I got older and started to realize that there were distinct differences between boys and girls in what they did and how they acted, I wanted even more to be one of the girls, still not accepted, though I did have more friends that were girls than boys. Because of this, I never was allowed to learn how to be a girl or feminine and being masculine was also a very foreign concept. I did try to play the part of a boy and managed to succeed to some extent.

When I started approaching puberty, I really started to realize the physical differences between boys and girls. I was in my teens before I had ever seen what was under the girls clothes (I was rather clueless). It was around that time that I really started noticing how a girls pants, bathing suits, leotards, etc fit so snuggly in the crotch and didn't have that ugly, stupid, disgusting bulge down there. That was the time that I guess I really started to hate my body and really wished that I could have been born a girl. But I always knew that I was supposed to be a boy/man and continued to act the part and restrained that female part of me and the male still didn't fit.

I would love to be more feminine and feel more girly - lots of practice. Now, I don't really have any GG friends who I am close enough to that I can come out to and hope to become a girl friend and learn all of those girly things I have always wanted to learn. Maybe soon, maybe soon.

Deanna

When I was younger (5-11) I didn't really have an identity. I just took myself as female because that's how everyone saw me. I tried to be girly, and maybe I even believed it but when puberty happened and the changes started to take place I realized something was horribly, horribly wrong.

So now I identify as masculine. Masculine what? Don't know. I'm inclined to think I'm a guy but teens are frequently delusional so I am trying to be wary of stupid decisions. I still look like a woman and I'm treated like one and there's no changing that until I can find a therapist and work this mess out.

I grew up masculine, but with an somewhat private feminine streak. I was never very sporty, preferring to read, and I remember playing with my sister's toys (she also played with my toys as well, although by the time my younger brothers were born she stopped doing so). I considered myself a boy, and I still consider myself a man - I'm just not the stereotypical, gender role serving kind.

Quote from: childofwinter on October 13, 2009, 01:15:44 PM
I grew up masculine, but with an somewhat private feminine streak. I was never very sporty.

Yeah. This.