Hi Michelle

Welcone to Susans..

Being an "emotional mess" is something a lot of us have in common, and "going through this" is something that we all do at some time, some for a longer period than others..
If you have only experienced this for a year so far, and you are already thinking in terms of changing your body, there is a possibility that the feelings will get stronger with time.
The only way to achieve what you are looking for will be with medication, so I suggest you consider finding a gender therapist as a starting point. This will enable you to discuss your emotions with someone who understands what you are going through, and ultimately they will be able to recommend you for the medication your are considering.
Don't hold you breath though, these issues are not "cured" overnight, and international standards of care will require that you undertake therapy for a 3 month period before any recommendations can be made.
Due to the serious health risks, and the difficulty in controlling results, we do not condone self medication or discuss dosage on this site.

Chrissty