Oh my, I hate to be the wet blanket and the grammar nazi and all... But I really find it <i>very</i> difficult to understand what it is you're trying to say. I don't want to insult you or anything, and I want to help, but it might help me to help you if you break down that post into some sentences and stuff. It's just very difficult for me when the whole paragraph is one sentence -- I don't really get what's going on. Who's what, where it went, why it happened and who's mother?
From what I do understand is you're involved in a long distance relationship with a girl who's just recently come to be aware of your transsexuality. You want to spend time with her and the notion was mentioned, but cross-referencing will be needed between parents, and that would be bad because your mother still refers to you as female which is embarrassing for you...? Have I got that mostly right?
From a veteran of several long distance relationships that lasted years at a time, (The first one was two years, the latter was almost four) I can tell you that you should leap on any chance you get to see your significant other.
I never got to see either of those two people, and even though I don't call them lovers anymore they certainly are still prominent people in my life. I've never met them in person, and it still hurts sometimes.
You may need to swallow your pride in that circumstance so that you can see your girlfriend.