Please excuse me, Yvonne. I don't mean to pick on you. There are hundreds of examples of this on this forum and yours was the easiest for me to find. There are parts of your statement that I agree with, but I would like to talk a little about how I receive it because I think a lot of this "argument" is how various people receive the statements of others.
Quote from: Yvonne on November 18, 2009, 03:55:28 AM
The antipathy of the non stealth peeps towards the stealth people is so obvious that it makes me sick to my stomach. Its so disgusting that I want to throw up but lets not paint everybody with the same brush.
There are 2 kinds of non stealth people.
1st kind: The people that out themselves to genuinely help the community & dont make a big fuzz over people that choose to live stealth. To those people I applaud & theyve got my total respect.
2nd kind: The frustrated kind that wanna be stealth but cant because either they dont pass or transitioned old, so the only thing they do is spend their time insulting the people that live stealth by saying things like sneaky, in the closet, dishonest. To those folks I say.
No wonder stealth people dont like you and then youve got the nerve to play the victim & say they dont want to be near you? heh if your animosity towards them is that bad & so obvious on an internet website, of course they wouldnt want you to be near them in real life either. Ill tell you what. Keep up the bs & the few people that still appreciate you are going to throw you under the bus too & when that happens, its going to be your fault, no one elses. Shame on you! stop playing the victim & get over it. It doesnt work anymore!
I am one of the oldest people on this forum. I finally admitted to myself that I am transsexual at the age of 65. I have seen lots of criticism, both explicit and implied, of people like me who take a long time to work through our issues.
I was 9 when news of Christine Jorgensen hit the press. I was 23 when Harry Benjamin published his book "The Transsexual Phenomenon", in which he coined the word "transsexual". I was 26 when Stanley Biber performed his first sex-change operation.
With no internet, I finally found information on the process of becoming one's true gender when I was 40. Information was very hard to find and I was shy and repressed. I didn't have the inner or external resources needed for transition, and so I convinced myself I was just a cross-dresser. Finally, this year I began dealing with being TS.
It is true that younger people have to overcome less masculinization – both physical and social. Young people are growing up with more knowledge and understanding and acceptance of transsexualism. Younger people should have an easier time of assimilating (going stealth) than older people. All true.
However, as I see my body change from the hormones, as I unlearn how to be a man, as I peel away the layers and layers of socialization, I have hope that one day I will be complete and be able to live my life as I truly am.
I am not particularly feminine looking. My voice is recognized as male about half the time on the telephone. I have over 60 years of habits I am trying to shed. But gradually, incrementally, slowly, the people around me see me more and more as a woman – even those who knew me before.
I would be completely surprised if I ever achieve stealth, but statements that imply I have no chance are not helpful to me.
I'm sorry to be so touchy. I'm still early in my transition. This is something I've wanted since I was 3, so I'm probably too sensitive about it. I don't see myself as a victim but as someone who has been given many wonderful opportunities, including the chance to finally live as me. I ask only that as much as possible we are all somewhat sensitive to the fact that each of our situations is different.
- Kate
