i would tend to say that many people are suspicious but did not yet dare to bring it up directly. at least i get the feeling they know there is some thing different.

when people joking they bring the T word many times it mean it more than a random joke.

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Post Merge: November 19, 2009, 02:59:16 PM

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Quote from: interalia on November 18, 2009, 11:28:13 PM
I was called "gay" by many people growing up.

soo typical, it will be easier for me to count the number of people that did not call me gay "or other names like ->-bleeped-<-got" that those that did.

I found out when I came out to my mom that all my life she had thought I was a butch lesbian. Apparently it didn't dawn on her to ask me...maybe I'd not suffered in silence for so long. When she told my brother and dad it didn't surprise them from what I hear. Now I doubt any of them will ever treat me as a guy in which case I just keep distancing myself from them :/

I had 3brothers, but my next brother who I spent a lot of time with growing up always had suspicions, I always hated the rough, tumble and dirty games, he use to call me sissy and girly when he was annoyed.
He wasn't a bit surprised when I came out at 16, but my parents where but supported me, my Mam was just trill at gaining a daughter, I posted my story here a while back https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,20096.40.html
p

I know that a few knew something was up.

I was often treated a bit differently, even though no one really wanted to say much.

Funny actually.

My closer friends constantly joke around about me being ftm. Only one really kinda figured out that it's not as much of a joke as my life, but... Yeah I don't think most of 'em would be surprised.

the guys who sit in front of me in one of my classes are actually afraid of me. Actually, that's funny. Cause the teacher doesn't stop us from fighting in class (he encourages it, actually. ha)

When I (finally) came out to my photo teacher (who runs our school GSA), she was far from surprised.


Yeah. I suck at hiding, but i manage to look too feminine. Go figure.
(stupid boob things)

Quote from: insanitylives on November 19, 2009, 07:29:39 PM
(stupid boob things)

They are the bane of my existance >.<

"You're not like all the other girls." - Nameless friend.

"You're like one of the guys." - Other nameless friend.

"You're too manly." - Mother.

I don't know if anyone suspects anything (except my mom, she seems to think I "want to be a guy" but it seldom comes up.) Since the people I know already think of me as a female, I'm pretty sure they just think I'm a dyke now.

I haven't transitioned yet, but my closest friends and family members have always thought of me as a guy in a girl's body prior to my telling them.

Most of them are pretty open-minded, so it's not a big deal.

Well, here's my story:

I don't drive.  My eyesight is just bad enough that I shouldn't drive, so I rely on either public transportation or friends with cars.  I took the bus out to the bar one night about two years pre-surgery (and a good six months before I started replacing my wardrobe), and because the public transportation around here sucks so bad that the buses don't run after 10pm on weekdays and not after 6pm on weekends (yet this is a college town, where nearly everybody drinks), I had a friend drive me home.  He was driving a few others home, too, and all of us but the driving friend were drunk and being very silly.

At some point, the car conversation turned into talking about who had the bigger dick -- literally.  Save the driver's girlfriend, I was the only female in the car, but then I loudly proclaimed "My penis is bigger than the Internet!"

The whole car then went silent, save for some nervous giggles from the driver's girlfriend, and the driver's eyebrows perked up in the rear-view mirror and he said "You know, if anybody else in this car said that, I'd find that odd.  But since it was you, I can't say I'm surprised."

A few weeks later, I was on LiveJournal and having a really pissy day and decided that I *had to* start even the "dressing right" and "social cues" part of the transition process for my own sanity, so i made a poll asking my LJ friends which term they'd use to describe me -- their choices were "Girl, Boy, FTM Transsexual, Other".  About Half picked "FTM" with most of the rest pretty evenly divided between the other three.  One of the friends from the car ride clicked "other" and commented:  "Well, you look like a girl, but when people get to know you, it's apparent that, hrmm... well, when most girls claim to be 'just one of the guys', they're more just annoying girls who fart and don't pick up after themselves.  You're WAY more guy-like in personality, so you could say that and it wouldn't annoy me. :-)"


Also, my friend Aaron was fond of saying "R----'s not even bi-, but just talk to h-- long enough, and you'll see there's something queer upstairs."

Quote from: Kurzar on November 19, 2009, 07:34:15 PM
They are the bane of my existance >.<

I know, really.

Is there any way to donate them to the girls who want 'em?.. by any chance? Please?

I don't want to start the age-divide thing again, but I think that those of us who grew up in an earlier time were told it was a phase and might have believed it because there was little understanding of what this is.  And for that matter, little opportunity to do anything about it.

My experience with people now is that most understand this is something inherent and not a "life-style choice".  Or if they see at as a choice, they figure it's none of their business.

Years ago, people thought being gay was a phase or a choice.  Now most people recognize that it as inherent.  We as TSs aren't quite there yet in the public perception but we are getting there.

- Kate

Quote from: insanitylives on November 20, 2009, 05:49:15 AM
Is there any way to donate them

Yer being too charitable, hold out for a trade. 

Not many people have admitted to ever suspecting such a thing. I guess I did a good job of overmasculinizing myself.

One gal at work was the only person that was NOT surprised when I told her. I think it's because she noticed as I was crossdressing, my clear polish, long nails, long hair, earrings, women's flipflops, etc.

Quote from: heatherrose on November 20, 2009, 07:56:02 AM

I wonder how many people who didn't "grow up" to be "transgendered"
have ever heard this from a confidant, as opposed to those of us who
were fool enough to expose our inner most thoughts to someone. I believe
this was thought to be a "phase" because those who were told it, in the
past, were bullied into never expressing their Gender Disporia again.

The "just a phase" thing creates a lot of problems.  I agree with you.

Another issue is that, for some people, it really is a phase, and they won't know until they spend time talking to TG people, soul-searching, researching, etc.  I don't think there's anything wrong with it being a phase.

But when someone tells you, "It's just a phase," you're automatically put on the defensive and forced to choose sides.  And maybe you're not ready to choose sides.  And maybe you'll never want to. 

The whole situation of choosing sides presupposes some kind of fixed gender identity in accordance with the binary system, and that just doesn't apply to everyone.

Quote from: insanitylives on November 20, 2009, 05:49:15 AM
I know, really.

Is there any way to donate them to the girls who want 'em?.. by any chance? Please?

Yeah, I wish ftm's and mtf's could trade genitals.  It would make everything so much easier.

Quote from: K8 on November 20, 2009, 08:48:21 AM
I don't want to start the age-divide thing again, but I think that those of us who grew up in an earlier time were told it was a phase and might have believed it because there was little understanding of what this is.  And for that matter, little opportunity to do anything about it.

My experience with people now is that most understand this is something inherent and not a "life-style choice".  Or if they see at as a choice, they figure it's none of their business.

Years ago, people thought being gay was a phase or a choice.  Now most people recognize that it as inherent.  We as TSs aren't quite there yet in the public perception but we are getting there.

- Kate

Well as far as I know the younger transitioners spend a phase thinking it's a phase. Because kids these days are allowed to follow these temporary urges (I don't know, probably more frequently than before) and then "grow out of them" all of the time. Therefore it's sometimes hard to tell what's real.

Quote from: Becca on November 20, 2009, 10:17:13 AM
Yer being too charitable, hold out for a trade. 

Good point, actually
Are you offering?

Ohhhhh how I wish we could just trade stuff

Quote from: Becca on November 20, 2009, 10:17:13 AM
Yer being too charitable, hold out for a trade. 

Maybe in the far east they would pay me to have them ground up as medicine?

Sold mine for appetizers at Applebee's.



Janet