All of a sudden there were a few instances where my brain was like, "Oh btw... Dicks! LOL!"
And it kinda messed with me for a while, hahahaha...
But I've really learned that even though I call myself "Pansexual", its because I'm really attracted to a girl because of how they think... Yet I find it more and more appealing in my head... ANd really the only legitimate feeling thing to be penetrated. So... I'm not gay, straight, pan.... Its hard to explain cause I DO have specific tastes. People with a more mental gender need to be a freaking great exception (maybe an FtM or that singer from the PIllows).... But the point is that now my brain really really likes that whole phallic "Fill you up to be complete" BS, but I still connect with girls better or at least people who have experienced a full range of feelings. They have to be pretty domme too, or at least willing to be usually cause I've always been epic failure as a top my whole life. But now that I think about it, if I really loved and felt comfortable with the person I would top them just for fun...
Its like halloween. I want a BASE to work from that I'm comfortable with. That doesn't mean I'm not opposed to a different adventure sometimes... Its the whole point of deviating. I just need solid ground to bounce off of.
So I started getting these girly feelings like CRAZY about 8 months ago. They got more and more "Callibrated" and ingrained in me, and now body parts that are external FEEL like they're internal. Not to mention my body is attempting to morph itself best it can to turn my boyish parts into what they should be. The whole line on the back thing and whatnot. It looks and FEELS like the outer part of a vagina. I dk why I could know what one FEELS like but my brain sure believes it without me willing it to... So I just accept it now.
So basically... Progesterone gave me that too when I first started it. I'm thinking of cycling eventually with my hormones (Injected), cause that would seem more effective for this puberty and for the experiences I want before I die. I keep getting tastes of them for like... 30 seconds at a time, and wow...
Sometimes I do get tingly. It was more when I shifted dosage or was more healthy. I guess I'm less of a "get mushy in public" person now cause I'm just so tired and sleep deprived and hungry... But when my friend walks into my class and slaps my ass when the teacher isn't looking I do kind of yelp and my brain goes, "O_O" For a split second. Its part that I don't remember that I HAVE an ass to begin with cause I've always been so skinny and I think now though that its part what this thread describes. I like dominant girls, at least sexually, and WHOA does that distract me. My body is like me... It wants to do something thats freaking impossible, and it knows its impossible but its freaking doing it ANYWAY.

Like having babies....
Sometimes I feel all vulnerable and freaked out when I walk down the street though and places alone...
And then I remember... "Wait? ... I can't even get pregnant? And I carry art blades?"
These things are both my savior and downfall... I love curling up or cuddling... But then it will backfire and turn on me and I'll be the angsty stereotype hugging the pillow just to fall asleep thinking of the person I love.
So I guess I'm mentally 14 now. D:
Good thing I hate Twilight. That makes me feel a lot more confidenct in my control over this XD !