Well, I've been living with my ex and most of the time we can't stand to be near each other.  We had discussed a number of options to resolve the problem including moving to a different room of the house--which never worked out.  We had discussed me moving out sometime next year.  She now has a boyfriend that she has fallen in love with and him likewise to her.  She had changed the date when she thought I should move out to "in a few months", because he was going to move in with her after that.  Now, she says I should look for a new place right away.

How do I feel about this?  Actually pretty good.  I'll get to have my own place where I can easily manage it's cleanliness, not have stuff move on me, not have to find out something I liked a lot got broken, etc.  I'll get to organize my place so that it works well for me in moving about.  I'll be able to keep only healthy food to remove the temptation to eat junk.  I'll be taking my dog with me, who will now be able to get more attention and I'll finally have a place where I can invite friends over.

So, starting tomorrow (Monday), I'm going to be doing some apartment hunting.  I have a couple places I want to look at.  I need to find places that accept pets--even with an extra deposit.  I'm going to do some searching online today for places that best meet my personal criteria and maybe I'll even be able to move out by the end of the month.  After moving, I will be living in an extremely limited way until I can afford to buy more things like a bed, more dishes, or whatever.  My ex says she is fine with me taking almost anything, so I do have some freedom.  So, now I have something to look forward to in the near future.  Change is nice.

Melissa

Congratulations, chica.  Relish your new freedom   Having a place of your very own where you are the one and only boss is great, I only did that for a few months before moving in with my Justin, but I did the whole too-poor-for-furniture thing for a while...  It was fun, it really makes you feel inencumbered by material crap.  I had this very sweet old Chinese landlady who, upon finding out I had no furniture later, gave me a matress, sheets, dishes, and a chair.  And my mom sent me a gift certificate to get a tiny little tv/vcr thingie.

Of course, I like lounging around on the floor so I guess if you're not half cat or have all hardwood floors it might not be as fun

Melissa,

      This is a very good thing for you. First of all now you have breathing room. I bet you won't be so streesed all the time. Well, I know you will be busy over the next few weeks getting that all put together. Good luck

                                       Marco   

Melissa I just want to say how happy I am for you. It will be a good thing for you. I wish you the best of luck. Happy apartment hunting.


Owen

Love being female

Melissa, I'm really happy for you. You needed to be on your own. Now that you have come to that spot you need to now look for a lawyer and try to end this in an equitable manner. There are things that will come up and don't let anyone try and talk you out of doing it with a lawyer. It won't work, believe me, I have had so many friends here lately that said at first they were going to divide everything up 50/50 and the child support would be at a minimum. Well, one friend now has to pay 60% of her take home to her ex who has a boyfriend and live in a different state. This is alimony and child support. The ex doesn't work only lives off the boyfriend and alimony/support checks. My friend is working two jobs as to keep her a afloat. I have another friend and bacically the same thing happened. They said they were going to divorce cheaply and with no lawyer. Well, all of a sudden the ex has a lawyer and a list of things. They try and use the TS into the courts. So find a lawyer and consult with him/her.
Sheila

Quote from: Sheila on September 17, 2006, 12:09:58 PM
So find a lawyer and consult with him/her.

Of course.

Melissa

Good luck, Melissa!

Good luck Melissa. In a situation like the one you describe yourself as being in you are moving onto better. I'm glad to see you are a smart lady in hiring a lawyer. 

Good luck with this Melissa,

I hope things work out when you move out and wind up your marrige.

Alice

Melissa,
I'm really happy for you.  I hope everything works out just the way you want!!  Good luck with everything!

Hello Melissa.

That's really great news.  A new home for your new life.  Nothing like starting with a clean slate so to speak.  It's good that you are looking at the positive side to this as even with some hiccups along the way this is going to be good for you no matter what.

New beginnings are always exciting.  Good luck and keep us posted on your progress.
'
Steph

melissa,  good luck in your house/apartment hunting.  glad your looking forward to it.  and you will have your one true loyal friend (your dog will like it too).  if you need any help moving anything , let me know as i could help.

hugs and     amber

Yes good luck in finding your new place!

Now you can really make it your own.

The outer also reflects the inner!

Love, Sky X

Melissa,

It's a mixed bag of emotions.  You want to make it work, and yet you want the stress to be over.  I am glad that the stress is ending for you.

For me, the first few days were the hardest.  Not because I missed her, but because I missed the kids.  This is something that you don't have to worry about, and that will make the transition for you much easier.  Now, when I get home from work, I can be myself in both body and soul.  My latest picture is of me in my apartment.

This is a good thing.

Good luck apartment hunting!

Chaunte

I agree...probably the best thing for you physically and emotionally.   You deserve your own private space and with it you will only continue to grow

We'll be looking for the "House Warming Party" invites soon

Congrats Melissa!  I'm sure it'll be better for you this way!

tinkerbell

Good luck, Melissa!  Don't hurt yourself lifting stuff that's too heavy!

And, whatever else you take - make sure you keep your computer!


helen

hey uh?

ya got my blessings.
and ya got my support.
and ya got my pride in you.
it takes courage to face the unknown in life.
I am proud of you.
not a LOT of folks HAVE the backbone TO face the unknowns in life.
many people are so scared.....and many set themselves up for failure.

go for it!!!!!!!!!!!!


and GOOD LUCK!!!

I believe that this is a harder decision to make than some of the other things we face on our path.

You'll be able to live without furniture.  If you need some creative ideas for something you can't afford, let us know.  I saw a kid build all of his furniture out of cardboard.  I set the line when he showed the comforter he made out of Apple containers.  That was a bit too much.

Food, as you mention, is a huge change.  You'll be surprised at how well you'll be able to manage your weight.  You are correct.  If you don't have it in the house, it won't end up on your waist.

After initial elation, you will face an extreme case of loneliness.  You have had a lot of attention thrown your way lately.  It hasn't been healthy perhaps, but there's not been a dull moment I suspect.  Don't let it get you down.

Go girl.

Cindi

 I set the line when he showed the comforter he made out of Apple containers.  That was a bit too much.
===============

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
sniffle

you mean you don't like my 60's table I made out of a wire spool the phone company left?

or my stereo stand out of bricks and plywood?
i'm gonna go cry

(wink wink)