I know guys aren't supposed to talk about their feelings (*joking! ) but I was wondering how T affects how you feel.  Do you feel more "manly"?  Some of the things I've read, a few people have said they felt angrier or more aggressive or hornier or more confident. 

My anger turned to irritation only. i have only been on it a short while tho. Only other thing is, it just feels 'right' somehow.

very horny but not 'more manly' Never been an angry dude either. it takes a lot 2 piss me off. 

i feel a lot more confident and im happier with my appearance than ive ever been.  ive always been pretty short tempered, but in my moms words, im "a lot less bitchy now".  i dont feel more manly at all.  infact, ive realized that im a lot less manly than i initially thought.

i noticed when i first started taking T my anger was quick and short lived...but i've been a lot more aware of it now and i have learned to control it before it happens...i can express anger a lot easier...im far less "emotional"...i cant cry but i suppose before T/my transition i was miserable so getting emotionally upset was a common occurance...my confidence and overall happiness has sky-rocketed...and yea im horny all the time too...which is good and bad...but i've never felt better and more "whole" in my entirety of my life

Quote from: jmaxley on December 13, 2009, 09:36:17 PM
I know guys aren't supposed to talk about their feelings (*joking! ) but I was wondering how T affects how you feel.  Do you feel more "manly"?  Some of the things I've read, a few people have said they felt angrier or more aggressive or hornier or more confident.

True story:

Before HRT, everything by Army of Lovers and Marc Almond's disco / dance-oriented albums were "too gay" for me.  Now?  It's like I understand it.  Well, OK, maybe not "understand", but suddenly it got good and stopped scaring me.


Another true story:

I'm in a band.  I'm a singer in said band.  When the band first formed, I was still pre-everything and figured that, being a singer (and having tits the size of my head), it might be best to let the other guys know what was in the works for the next year.  The boys were fine, my guitarist has even become one of my greatest allies in this (even though sometimes I have to explain things slowly -- but he's like Mexican Skwissgaar), but I've had fifteen years of voice training and they all remembered puberty, so knew it was no big deal, as long as I maintained breathing exercises and knew how to channel the new voice.

Nearly a year had passed before I finally got my first testosterone shot, and by that time, the band was back to just me and Skwissgaar.  The day I got the shot at my doctor's office (which is a funny and true story, in and of itself), I called up my guitarist after I got home, thinking "yeah, I should call him, too, so he can get an idea on how to gauge this."  The convo went as thus:

"So, Rod, I got my first testosterone shot today."

"Huh?  Oh yeah!  Wow!  You really did it, huh?"

"Yeah, just like surgery four months ago.  So, yeah, just figured you should know I might be squeakin in the next few months."

"Can you feel it?"

"Well...  the injection area feels like I got punched in the thigh, but that's the nature of IM's."

"Well, I mean can you feel it working?"

o_O  "OK, Rod...  Do you remember puberty?  Hormones work like that, not like cocaine."

"Oh yeah!  HAHAHA!!!  You're going through puberty again!"

"Well, glad we got that all sorted out.  See you at practise this Sunday?"



As to "more aggressive"?  I think that's a crock.  I'm another person to add to the currently-forming list of people who can report a personal notice of decreased anger (mine has always been short-lived -- serious, and if nothing else, this may have kept fights with friends and others going far longer cos I just can't figure out why I'm the only person i know, male or female, who is almost never actively angry for more than an hour at a time, nor do i hold grudges; never have)

"More confident" has almost nothing to do with the very presence of testosterone, and more to do with a person's satisfaction with finally taking it.  After all, men are the "suicide sex", and that's typically not a trait of demographic groups that have significantly higher confidence -- men, on average, are three to ten times more likely than women to actually commit suicide:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_rate

I can safely report "hornier", but science has also proved a link between testosterone and libido, so I was expecting that.  What i wasn't expecting was spending an entire weekend "looking at photos by myself".  I had a pretty high libido previously, along with a pretty regular schedule of "alone time", just never to that extent.

Yes. But like many, I've actually noted a huge decrease in anger and aggression. I was an ->-bleeped-<- on estrogen. It brought out the worst in me. Now, I'm calm and level headed. And nicer.  T has only made me feel more 'manly' in terms that hairier limbs and stubble makes me feel more manly. There really is a certain physicality factor for me. Testosterone has gotten a bad rap. Men are scarier under the influence of estrogen, I believe.

I am far calmer, more zen, relaxed, not as irritable or angry, no anxiety (well a whole lot less anxiety so it's barely noticeable), no depression.  I finally feel NORMAL.  No mood swings, more confident, and oh yeah horny as hell.  But I was very horny pre-T anyway.


Jay

Quote from: sneakersjay on December 14, 2009, 08:56:12 AM
I am far calmer, more zen, relaxed, not as irritable or angry, no anxiety (well a whole lot less anxiety so it's barely noticeable), no depression.  I finally feel NORMAL.  No mood swings, more confident, and oh yeah horny as hell.  But I was very horny pre-T anyway.


Jay

Yeah for me, the horniness hasn't really increased but changed. Balanced out. Before, I would get crazy periods where I was like an animal in heat and literally had to get off about 10x a day or more. I usually masturbated about 3x a day on estrogen. It was extreme. Then there would be periods where I didn't need to for several days. Now it's about once a day and balanced. The female reproductive cycle is gone and no longer drives me sexually. On estrogen I had a crazy, unruly cycling demand; now on T, I'm in control. Maybe it's different for cismales, I don't know. T is supposed to make you insatiable sexually, but it's actually put me in check.

Quote from: Nero on December 14, 2009, 09:09:41 AM
Yeah for me, the horniness hasn't really increased but changed. Balanced out. Before, I would get crazy periods where I was like an animal in heat and literally had to get off about 10x a day or more. I usually masturbated about 3x a day on estrogen. It was extreme. Then there would be periods where I didn't need to for several days. Now it's about once a day and balanced. The female reproductive cycle is gone and no longer drives me sexually. On estrogen I had a crazy, unruly cycling demand; now on T, I'm in control. Maybe it's different for cismales, I don't know. T is supposed to make you insatiable sexually, but it's actually put me in check.

Well, it would make sense, considering that cisgender women do get spikes of T every so often. Not sure if an MTF on estrogen would experience that, but it's a possibility they probably do. I hear right before a period you get a spike of testosterone, which would make sense because before I had my last one I felt less stressed out and my sex drive came back.

I feel way hornier and less emotional.  Happier overall but I think that's more related to the fact that people just see me as a guy now and not because of the actual hormone.  I'm not more or less angry but how I express anger is different.  It's the only emotion I really let people see, and I let everyone know how pissed off I am.  I'm much more comfortable with my body now too

Thanks for the replies, guys.  I'm a bit worried about the horniness, I stay horny a lot as it is, lol.  I stay moody a LOT too, I wonder if it would help that.

I finally mentioned to my therapist and pdoc about my gender issues, so here's to hoping I can get on T.

Quote from: jmaxley on December 14, 2009, 07:14:40 PMThanks for the replies, guys.  I'm a bit worried about the horniness, I stay horny a lot as it is, lol.

Six weeks into HRT, I managed to sprain my wrist doing "that" -- you know, "alone with photos".  My doctor laughed, then realised I was serious and laughed harder (she's been my doctor since I was fifteen, at this point, she's practically "the blunt aunt" or something, in function).

Serious, fear the libido.

Other than that, don't sweat it.

QuoteI feel way hornier and less emotional.  Happier overall but I think that's more related to the fact that people just see me as a guy now and not because of the actual hormone

Ditto.
I think I feel more confident and less emotional but only because ppl are now seeing me as the guy I am

I have another T question...how does it affect weight loss?  I've read it's easier to gain muscle (I've been working out for several months and have gained some muscle but...darn it, I can't tell just by looking!  Must have more muscle mass!)  Is it easier to lose fat?  I'm overweight by quite a bit and the working out and calorie cutting doesn't really seem to have any effect.   At least my weight is carried more around the stomach than the hips, thighs, and butt (though there's still more there than I'd like).

Quote from: jmaxley on December 15, 2009, 06:52:47 PM
I have another T question...how does it affect weight loss?  I've read it's easier to gain muscle (I've been working out for several months and have gained some muscle but...darn it, I can't tell just by looking!  Must have more muscle mass!)  Is it easier to lose fat?  I'm overweight by quite a bit and the working out and calorie cutting doesn't really seem to have any effect.   At least my weight is carried more around the stomach than the hips, thighs, and butt (though there's still more there than I'd like).

Yes, testosterone increases muscle mass and therefore weight gain as well. Your muscles passively burn energy off.

Quote from: jmaxley on December 15, 2009, 06:52:47 PM
I have another T question...how does it affect weight loss?  I've read it's easier to gain muscle (I've been working out for several months and have gained some muscle but...darn it, I can't tell just by looking!  Must have more muscle mass!)  Is it easier to lose fat?  I'm overweight by quite a bit and the working out and calorie cutting doesn't really seem to have any effect.   At least my weight is carried more around the stomach than the hips, thighs, and butt (though there's still more there than I'd like).

I think the question to fat loss has a little more to do with one's family history than testosterone on its own.

Testosterone will definitely shift fat around (from hips, butt and thighs to belly, mostly), but it won't suddenly raise one's metabolism where they can eat any quantity of anything and watch the pounds just melt away.

The last time I was at the doctor before this last Thursday (my most recent appointment) was in early August, and my doctor noticed a drop of ten pounds since then with minimum effort on my part -- I've just started walking a little more and cut out most non-diet sodas.  I've been on testosterone a little over a year and honestly, I have no recollection of how hard it was to drop ten pounds before, because my efforts tended to make absolutely no progress; I do know that even prior, I was considered pretty muscular for somebody biologically female.

Quote from: jmaxley on December 15, 2009, 06:52:47 PM
I have another T question...how does it affect weight loss?  I've read it's easier to gain muscle (I've been working out for several months and have gained some muscle but...darn it, I can't tell just by looking!  Must have more muscle mass!)  Is it easier to lose fat?  I'm overweight by quite a bit and the working out and calorie cutting doesn't really seem to have any effect.   At least my weight is carried more around the stomach than the hips, thighs, and butt (though there's still more there than I'd like).

yeah it's waaay easier to gain muscle.  before T, I couldn't get above 115 pounds no matter how hard I tried.  a few months on T and I was up to 125 and it's pretty much all muscle.  I've heard it's easier to lose fat as well

2 months on T now.

Agression...not decreased, but different. Before I would go completely flying off the wall at someone, over-the-top emotional, and then brood about it for a good day at least. Now, instead of getting hit with insult/sadness/hysteria/anger/etc all at once, I generally only just feel strong annoyance or brief anger. I find I'm less likely to brood over things, and while I do get angry, I find that I'm MUCH more likely to handle it civilly. It also seems to have given me a thicker skin of sorts...it's a bit harder to hit a nerve now.

Sensitivity...I can't cry. At all. The most emotional, heart-wrenching moment of the whole two months (which at the time was also with me sleep deprived, overworked, and in-the-gutter depressed) only managed to urk out two "pseudo-tears", which was about enough to moisten my eyes. Then, gone. This is a HUGE change as I was always a very melodramatic, crybaby person, whether I wanted to be or not.

Confidence...as others said, I would chalk this less up to the T itself and more as a side effect of passing more as the correct sex. I didn't notice any real confidence boosts up 'til my voice started cracking and I started getting "sir'd" more often. I've also noticed some slight body fat distro, mostly facially, that helps with me being read better.

Libido...dear lord help me. So....horny...



As for other questions...I've gained 12 pounds in 2 months while on T, up to about 150 lbs at 5'4". My appetite has gone up, a lot, and generally I'm more active so I find I need to eat more. Problem is my metabolism hasn't spiked near as much. I have noticed some ~slight~ muscle build-up in my arms. I'm also starting to go to the gym in hopes I can get in shape and drop the pounds before top surgery.

Oh--and a small note. I actually had my endo try to make sure I couldn't get my T script renewed last week, because he realized my therapist isn't local to me (I don't have ready transportation to a local one, so opted for online as it's easier to access), citing that Testosterone could send me into a blind rage and fury like hell hath no other, and he would prefer I have someone local to talk to in case I fly off the handle. Never mind I have been on T for 2 months with no ill effects. Unfortunately he is the only endo in the area that I can get an appt. with...so if you guys have any links to medical crap citing the whole "roid rage" for FtMs is myth, please post em up or shoot me links.

Quote from: Chamillion on December 15, 2009, 10:16:07 PM
yeah it's waaay easier to gain muscle.  before T, I couldn't get above 115 pounds no matter how hard I tried.  a few months on T and I was up to 125 and it's pretty much all muscle.  I've heard it's easier to lose fat as well

That gives me some hope then as I can't get passed 115 lbs either.