One of the things my therapist asked me when i told her i thought i was transgender, she asked about my sexual orientation.. And i told her i was straight, i think..

For my entire 20 years, i have considered myself heterosexual. I thought I was attracted to men, but what i recently realized is that im not actually attracted to them, but that is how i've always wanted to look, ie my hair, clothes, style.

And i know when i transition to a man i will want to date women, but im not sure i want to date them while i still present as female.. any one ever felt like this? or know why im so insane?? lol

Thanks
Mark

Feel pretty much the same way.

I'm sure it's pretty normal.

I have been straight, and even now I am straight.  Only now it is men, not woman. 


Huggles,
Janet

 

im glad im not the only one

Mark

I was always uncomfortable dating women pre-transition but that was because I didn't identify as a lesbian and hated feeling like I should have. But I was never interested in men.

Makes sense. I was always bi pre-transition but more comfortable around me than women.

ive definitely had relationships with guys because i thought i was attracted to them, but now that i think about it i was actually attracted to wanting to look like them
glad somone else shares the same feeling, its crazy how the mind works

Quote from: fdfge on December 20, 2009, 05:00:53 PM
ive definitely had relationships with guys because i thought i was attracted to them, but now that i think about it i was actually attracted to wanting to look like them
glad somone else shares the same feeling, its crazy how the mind works

I definitely feel much better knowing that some people share this feeling.

I also dated a few guys, but it never worked out because i was never comfortable with the relationship.  I did however have a successful (strictly) online relationship with a female who i told i was male.

Mark

Actually, my regular doctor asked that when i talked to her about transitioning - after she said she would get me a referral to an endocrinologist and therapist. I think it was pure curiosity on her part, though i didn't mind.

I told her that i wasn't sure - i'm not openly looking for a relationship until i'm comfortable with myself. But i probably wouldn't cut out half the population simply because of their genitals. Same as i think now, actually. I guess i'm on the fence with that until i fully transition in body (though i admit to liking the male body a LOT lmao.)

Quote from: Markster on December 20, 2009, 05:19:57 PM
I definitely feel much better knowing that some people share this feeling.

I also dated a few guys, but it never worked out because i was never comfortable with the relationship.  I did however have a successful (strictly) online relationship with a female who i told i was male.

Mark

o man you just reminded me, when i was much much younger (like 9) i would go onto aim and go into these chat rooms and pretend to be a 16 yr old guy, i actually formed a sort of relationship with this girl..but i was 9, so that obviously didn't last. damn now that i think about some of the strange things ive done it all makes sense. in preschool i would tell everyone that i was a boy, stuff like that.

Quote from: Kvall on December 20, 2009, 05:32:26 PM
Keep in mind that a minority of guys have noticed their sexuality changing when they go on T. Whether this is a direct hormonal change or simply a matter of allowing the guy to open up to his true feelings is unknown. I'm attracted to both, but I became significantly less attracted to women (especially very... developed ones, I guess I could say) on T.

thats very interesting i never thought about that

Quote
I told her that i wasn't sure - i'm not openly looking for a relationship until i'm comfortable with myself. But i probably wouldn't cut out half the population simply because of their genitals. Same as i think now, actually. I guess i'm on the fence with that until i fully transition in body (though i admit to liking the male body a LOT lmao.)

nothing wrong with that!! sometimes its better not to label yourself and just go with your gut feelings

Quote
o man you just reminded me, when i was much much younger (like 9) i would go onto aim and go into these chat rooms and pretend to be a 16 yr old guy, i actually formed a sort of relationship with this girl..but i was 9, so that obviously didn't last. damn now that i think about some of the strange things ive done it all makes sense. in preschool i would tell everyone that i was a boy, stuff like that.

story of my life haha  everythings starting to make sense now lol

Mark

I'm bi but am more attracted to women...Lately I've been studying men a whole lot more than I ever have (though in a non-sexual way, studying how they dress, walk, etc).

Quote from: Markster on December 20, 2009, 03:34:15 PM...im not actually attracted to them, but that is how i've always wanted to look, ie my hair, clothes, style.

Same here.

Quote from: Markster on December 20, 2009, 03:34:15 PMAnd i know when i transition to a man i will want to date women, but im not sure i want to date them while i still present as female.

I'm the same way. I never dated women because I would be seen as just a lesbian as well as the female lover. I despise the thought of being viewed as a lesbian because that's not what I am. I'm sure any guy would be mad being seen as and called a lesbian.

A few years ago I would have been really uncomfortable dating a guy, simply because I didn't want to be the "girl" in the relationship. Though I didn't ID as a lesbian, I dated a girl for 3 years and definitely assumed a more butch role.
But once I started to accept myself more as male, and began to come out to those around me, the idea of dating masculine people was much more appealing. I'm at the point now where I have almost no attraction to feminine females. I'm in a relationship with another FtM person, and I definitely lean more on the gay male side of the spectrum.
I'm interested to see where my attractions might fall when I start T.

I went through something similar.  I had my first crush (on a girl) when I was about seven.  I was attracted to girls until high school, which is when I decided to change my outward appearance.  I looked and dressed like a boy all through childhood but once puberty hit I started getting picked on.  I changed my appearance to survive in high school, and though I wasn't very girly looking, I definitely looked like a girl.  After awhile I started successfully integrating into the high school social scene (for the most part) and I convinced myself that my childhood was just a phase.  It was a decision - as if I had flipped a switch - that because I was "really" a girl, I should like boys, despite the fact that I had only been attracted to girls up to that point.  My attractions to girls didn't stop, but since I was relatively young I was successful at telling myself that I wanted the girls as best friends, and not sexually.  I'd say one of the main things that convinced me that my childhood was NOT a phase was a time in my life when I became attracted to a girl and a guy at the same time.  For the first time I could see a clear difference between the two.  I realized I was attracted to guys that I wanted to be like.  I have heard this is a common characteristic of gay men; in that respect it's almost like I made myself "gay" for awhile.  I think I was also attracted to guys because I am attracted to the idea of heterosexual sex.  But interestingly, I was always uncomfortable with the idea of my taking on female sexual roles.  I remember being particularly repulsed by the idea of wearing female lingerie.  Anyways, over time I realized that my attractions to girls weren't merely desires for a really good friend -- I realized that I wanted to be their boyfriend, and it killed me that I couldn't ask them out in the way I wanted.  Since that point I've only been attracted to women, though I do notice sometimes when guys are good-looking.  But it's only because I wish I looked like them.

Joseph

I identified as a butch lesbian for a while. I was attracted to women then, and am still attracted to them. But.. I guess I'm the minority here? D:

Quote from: Brynn on December 20, 2009, 07:46:20 PM
I identified as a butch lesbian for a while. I was attracted to women then, and am still attracted to them. But.. I guess I'm the minority here? D:

No, you're not in the minority. Lots of guys did time in the lesbian community.

Quote from: Markster on December 20, 2009, 03:34:15 PM
One of the things my therapist asked me when i told her i thought i was transgender, she asked about my sexual orientation.. And i told her i was straight, i think..

For my entire 20 years, i have considered myself heterosexual. I thought I was attracted to men, but what i recently realized is that im not actually attracted to them, but that is how i've always wanted to look, ie my hair, clothes, style.

And i know when i transition to a man i will want to date women, but im not sure i want to date them while i still present as female.. any one ever felt like this? or know why im so insane?? lol

Thanks
Mark

I felt the exact same way. I kept myself in denial for so long because I didn't want to believe I was trans. But I always knew how I felt inside.

All over the place!  LOL

Lived as a straight woman and dated men and only men.  Realized I was trans, and thought since I only dated men I must be gay.  But I was attracted to woman as a man, so thought I was just straight again. 

Now  I realize I'm probably bisexual, and genitalia doesn't matter too much, it's the person. Still leaning towards dating women but won't rule out men.  And trans-folk also welcome (pre or post op).

So it can change.  My therapist does say that sexual orientation can be fluid.


Jay

Always been attracted to women. Can't really see myself with a man as male or female, trust me, I've tried and I just didn't feel like myself.