Stealth is an illusion.


Dawn

Stealth is an illusion for those people that arent stealth, cannot be stealth & will never be stealth.

Quote from: Yvonne on October 18, 2009, 04:35:36 AM
Stealth is an illusion for those people that arent stealth, cannot be stealth & will never be stealth.

Quote from: Julie Marie on October 16, 2009, 02:34:43 PM
Do not challenge or try to debate the definition another posts here.  Each definition is specific to that person and not open for challenge or debate.  If you want to ask for clarification, feel free to do so.  But no one who posts their definition is wrong because it is theirs.  Do not, in your definition, refer to another definition with which you disagree.  "I disagree with so-and-so's definition....what it should be is..."  Simply state your own opinion without reference to anothers opinion

Stealth is when you can go a really long period of time without having any kind of conversation IRL about trans related stuff.

Or, in other words, the period wherin everyone in the world either doesn't know you are trans or doesn't care to a degree that it doesn't affect your relationship with them at all.

There, I win.

Quote from: Julie Marie on October 18, 2009, 11:23:01 AMDo not challenge or try to debate the definition another posts here.  Each definition is specific to that person and not open for challenge or debate.  If you want to ask for clarification, feel free to do so.  But no one who posts their definition is wrong because it is theirs.  Do not, in your definition, refer to another definition with which you disagree.  I disagree with so-and-sos definition....what it should be is...  Simply state your own opinion without reference to anothers opinion

Fair enough but when someone makes a broad generalisation and says [stealth is an illusion]. something needs to be said.  [stealth may be an illusion] for the person that says it, but it doesnt mean that its an [illusion] for everybody else.  I thought the thread had to do with what YOUR OWN definition of stealth was as applied to YOURSELF & not to others.  If stealth is an illusion for you, fine, say so but dont you ever speak for me, please.

Quote from: Yvonne on October 31, 2009, 02:17:19 AM
Fair enough but when someone makes a broad generalisation and says [stealth is an illusion]. something needs to be said.  [stealth may be an illusion] for the person that says it, but it doesnt mean that its an [illusion] for everybody else.  I thought the thread had to do with what YOUR OWN definition of stealth was as applied to YOURSELF & not to others.  If stealth is an illusion for you, fine, say so but dont you ever speak for me, please.

Read the title: "My Definition of stealth is..."  Read the original post.  There are no broad generalizations here, only personal definitions.  The thread is for your own definition, not using another's definition in redefining your own. 

No one is speaking for you.  I don't know why you feel they are. 

Julie

To me it means quietly blending into society.

I think that being stealth is the opposite of being 'out' or openly trans. Sure, you don't have to tell EVERYONE and their dog that your trans, that just isn't really necessary most of the time, but having a circle of people know you're trans, or being open about issues/amenities of life as a trans person would be, being open about it.

If you're not open about it, or you're 'stealth', to me, means that you're living a life where no one knows, or very very little people, even those close to you or even those romantically involved with you, know, and you work hard to keep it that way, keep being trans a secret. For me it was always hiding binding, denying/never bringing up 'periods', never talking in my comfort zone (always deepened my voice, always hurt at the end of the day) packing CONSTANTLY, always using the men's room, never letting ANYONE see me naked/even partially disrobed. If you're actively trying to thwart people from 'finding out' you're trans, to the point where you're keeping many things 'hidden' or 'to yourself' then I consider that stealth.

If your own partner and best friends don't know you're trans, then it's stealth, that's what I think it means.

Stealth = a wild, passionate weekend with a straight conservative male who doesn't know your medical background when you meet and still doesn't when you part!

(DAMN! That's the best "stealth" I have had in years! ROFLMAO! )

My definition of stealth is when you reach the point, as I did about two decades  ago (i'm now about 30 years post-op), where it no longer matters whether someone knows or not because you have been female for so long that even those who did know of your past seem to have forgotten.

Then one day I found myself in the ridiculous situation where to make a point I decided to tell someone, who who had known me for some while but didn't know, about my past, and they point blank refused to believe it and started accusing me of winding them up!

Their logic was that one of our mutual friends would have told them before now if what I was claiming was true and they hadn't so it couldn't be true. Eventually I got one of our mutual associates who did know to reluctantly confirm my story, but the person who questioned it still wouldn't accept it.

Quote from: heatherrose on October 31, 2009, 02:46:18 PM

People don't stop talking when you walk into
a room and they talk to as well as about you.

Accidentally sitting on a wet chair and
worrying what the guys will think as they
check out your butt when you walk by.

Having to explain to the nurse that it is
extremely unlikely that you are pregnant.

Worrying that someone, somewhere,
somehow is going to make your life
more complicated than it already is.

Definitely.

This happened during my last mammogram about three months back.  I was sitting on the exam table answering the nurses pre-lim questions (I was a new patient).  After the usual age, weight, medications I'm taking questions she asked:

"When did you have your first period?" - "I'm sorry I just can't remember, it's was so long ago."
"When did you have your last period?" - "I smiles and simply said Jeez I just can't remember, but it has been a while now"

That's my definition of stealth.

-={LR}=-

My definition of stealth is: to be a run of the mill woman in all situations as opposed to being or looking like a run of the mill bloke in a dress.

And I would consider "assimilation" to be like 15 years ago when rumours of my ancient medical history went through my community and most people dismissed it as poppycock - "A bit eccentric maybe but a woman for sure." 

I think that stealth isn't the same now as it was just a few years ago because of the rise of independent background databases which are totally unregulated. The best one can do is to pass in day to day life but in doing any activity where the background must be checked. That means getting a job, renting a house, buying a car or applying for credit anywhere, will out you.

So one can pass and be accepted as their preferred gender in public as strangers but eventually, in a small community, people will know.

Maggie

I think I consider my life to be deep stealth. I live in another country and have done for 15 years. All my work colleagues and friends and aquaintances have absolutely no idea about my past or suspect a thing. All my documentation (passport, driving license, birth certificate, my social security Id) all shows female. I have a brilliant job working for a large US multi-national and get to travel all over the place.
The only people who know my past is my family who still live in the UK and one very close friend who I've know since I transitioned and she always treated me like one of the girls anyway.
Even my doctor doesn't know anything as my medical records were never transferred from the UK.
It's great to live in stealth, to go about your everyday life and not be worried about being attacked because you look male, however I constantly have to be making stories up about my 'missing' years, lack of children etc. But this is a small price to pay

A dream that will never die.  Simlpy put, without anyone knowing. 

Quote100% stealth (period) means there is no difference between how those in your everyday world perceive your gender and how those same people perceive the gender of someone of the same gender as your identified gender.  In other words, no one knows your birth gender and never suspects it's anything but your identified gender.

Well, I don't know how that bar is ever achieved as it is impossible to know if anyone "suspects."

For me, stealth is having women with whom I having an intimate relationship ask me if I have stopped menstruating, or, if they assume I am post-menopausal. how long has it been since I had my last period.

When even 4'2"" inch Asians started calling me Ma'am or Miss, I knew I was on my way. Better yet was being called Madam in Thailand and Japan.

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Post Merge: July 30, 2010, 04:12:56 PM

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Quote from: Yvonne on October 31, 2009, 02:17:19 AM
Fair enough but when someone makes a broad generalisation and says [stealth is an illusion]. something needs to be said.  [stealth may be an illusion] for the person that says it, but it doesnt mean that its an [illusion] for everybody else.  I thought the thread had to do with what YOUR OWN definition of stealth was as applied to YOURSELF & not to others.  If stealth is an illusion for you, fine, say so but dont you ever speak for me, please.

It's pretty hard to have a discussion without some disagreement or debate. If everyone was of the same mind, there would be no reason for this discussion.