I was confident. But after 7 years of being an infantry soldier very little really rattles me.

I go in during the first and so far worst snow storm of the year on December 7th, yeah, Pearl Harbor Day, (considering I was going to the VA, veterans administration, it was kind of appropriate) Make it down the hill with only one spin out, drove out of the ditch in 4x4 and continued down the hill albeit a tad slower.

Only hitch is, in the waiting room I am dressed very feminine but the receptionist continually refers to me as "Sir" after the fourth time I crook my finger at her, call her over and in my nicest voice tell her "Honey, I did not spend three hours on my hair, makeup and outfit to be called sir" I am immediately referred to afterward as "Ms Rilea"

So anyway my doctor called off because she couldn't make it in. They give me another shrink and I doubt the poor guy had ever seen a TG/TS in his entire life and if he had it probably would have scarred him for life. We talk, well, *I* talk for an hour and a half. Enjoying myself thoroughly except when I reveal certain things like my shame at not having had the courage to talk to my parents when they were alive etc. I have real deep feelings of love for my parents, both of whom are now deceased. And on further reflection realize they would have had a little problem at first but would have accepted it once they were assured I was happy, which is all they really wanted for me.

So he smiles and says he really doesn't know what he is supposed to do now. We part ways after he offers me stress classes (honey, you want to know stress, try waiting for your Manolos at the UPS center and they are two days late THAT'S stress sweetheart) I decline as I live a long way away and can usually handle my own stress.

I go away, go home and hear nothing more. I want to know what the recommendation is. I call the VA, get a hold of a family friendly call center person (He helps me a LOT at the VA) and he reads the Drs notes. Well, seems I am simply stressed and will not attend the stress class the Dr recommended. Ahem, yeah, case closed, no follow-up recommended.

I am stressed, thats why I wear heels and a dress and have done so since I was three years old off and on. Whoo hoo ! I am not a freak, I am just stressed. Well, lets add REALLY FREAKIN ANGRY to the list now. Okay, I call San Jose, get in touch with Dr Gary Miles at the SJVA and set up an appt after I told him what happened.

I will let you all know what happens on the 26th of January. Suffice to say I am NOT returning to the Reno VA.

Quote from: Alexie on December 30, 2009, 07:55:40 PM
To some like Naturally Blonde and Janet (according to her post so forgive me Janet if this is not the case), the decision is obvious and there is no need to discuss the situation with an expert.

You need to define expert Alexie ? because the psychiatrists I saw were most definitely not experts. A psychiatrist who has completed 6 months at the Royal College of psychiatry doesn't really cut it for me. I would love to see an expert who is qualified in the genuine expertise and knowledge of the condition known as gender dysphoria.

I wanted to pick, anxious, and confident

a weird mix I know.

I was scared as hell, i'm not much of a talker especially to stranger about a topic that i was there to discuss. After that all down hill with her. Her and my endo are the only ones that know what i'm going through!!!!!

First 'gender therapy' session. I put bored. I was anxious, because I didn't know what to expect, but mostly I was bored. What am I really supposed to say, anyway? I know what I want, for the most part; therapy is just a means to an end.

Quote from: Cody Oriole on January 07, 2010, 07:49:51 PM
What am I really supposed to say, anyway? I know what I want, for the most part; therapy is just a means to an end.

I couldnt have said that better myself.  Totally agree

Quote from: Cody Oriole on January 07, 2010, 07:49:51 PM
First 'gender therapy' session. I put bored. I was anxious, because I didn't know what to expect, but mostly I was bored. What am I really supposed to say, anyway? I know what I want, for the most part; therapy is just a means to an end.

I wish I was that clear, but for me I need therapy to sort out what I want. Heck, I don't even know what I am!

Scared going in, then anxious, then comfortable.

My first appointment was with a general therapist. Having never been to a therapist, I was pretty anxious as to how things would go down. However things were pretty anticlimactic when I opened with, "I'm a guy" and he replied that he hadn't done alot of research about transgenders and felt unequipped to help me.

He referred me to a specialist who I'm waiting to hear back from for my first appointment. I'm still pretty anxious, but moreso with anticipation then worry now more about how sessions go down (especially after reading threads on this forum). 

I just booked my first session with the only "real" gender therapist in the area (can write letters, an actual shrink).

Sadly, I have a 6 week wait . I've been saving for a few months to get the cash together for a few sessions (enough to get T letter, hopefully).

I'm really looking forward to seeing this guy  .

I was surprised at how nervous I was booking the appointment. It had me more stressed over a weekend than I thought I was. After the session was booked, I bounced off the walls for half an hour, then promptly fell asleep!

I'm feeling impatient more than anything. The wait is almost painful.

I'm also feeling pretty confident that it's going to go smoothly, and (hopefully) I won't need too many sessions before I get the T.
I've been out to family and friends and full time for just over 8 months, studied (so, functioned according to the SOC) as a male in "stealth" for more than 6 months, and my legal name change went through more than 3 months ago.

In short - I've transitioned socially and legally as far as possible without medical intervention for longer than the SOC requirements, and I've got paperwork to prove it.

I'm not too young (mid 20's), have identified as male for as long as I can remember, and I'm pretty damn binary conforming - so I don't think he's going to get the impression I'm in any way still questioning. I've also had enough RLE as my birth sex to know it's not for me (causes instability and lack of functioning).

I'm confident, but I think I've got some solid logical reasons to feel that way. I don't expect T in the first few sessions, but I also don't expect to have to wait longer than 3 months either (depending on number of sessions I can book, of course).

I've done my reasearch on this particular guy, and he was #1 on my "list" even when I lived in another region. He's damn good from what I hear. I'm just lucky he's local now! He has a genuine interest in GID, and from what I hear, keeps up with current developments in treatment.

Of course, I am a little nervous too - I do hope we get along, he uses the SOC as guidelines only, and he does ask lots of questions (to check for other issues - I don't want him to be too fast and loose with the T!).

To sum up - Very impatient, quite confident and a little bit nervous.

Just had my first.
I was anxious, with some of the questions-embarrised confused, not able to express myself fully to get my feelings accross.

My first session has left me very empty and depressed. I feel so unhappy with the no result outcome. I am so lost. I feel like I could not get accross what my brain is telling my what is right and what is wrong. How do you express that?

I go back in April unless there is a cancellation. So much time with nothing happening!

QuoteMy first session has left me very empty and depressed. I feel so unhappy with the no result outcome. I am so lost. I feel like I could not get accross what my brain is telling my what is right and what is wrong. How do you express that?

I go back in April unless there is a cancellation. So much time with nothing happening!

Hi nmason

That is a long time between visits - why can't you get another session sooner?

What you felt about your first visit I would think is pretty normal - you simply cannot do much more then scratch the surface in just one visit.

I was nervous for mine, but it went fine I guess. The therapy didn't do a thing for me tho.  I went 4 times, got my letter for HRT, and said goodbye.  I didn't go till I was 100% clear so that may have been part of it?  It just felt like each session was like, so yep...still need to be a woman, how was your weekend?  Do you want to talk about my childhood or something?

I'm not discounting its value for others by any means, or even that sometime in the future it will be something I even need myself.

I imagine this is American based? so what happens at a U.S gender therapy session?

Quote from: Naturally Blonde on March 23, 2010, 04:32:42 PM
I imagine this is American based? so what happens at a U.S gender therapy session?

It's much the same as what happens at the better UK GIC's only slightly less gladiatorial.

In our system the shrinks tend to play rough. From what I have seen of the US system many of the therapists there seem to adopt a less confrontational approach and try to work through the whole exploration of how their patients feel - the focus being on helping them to understand not just WHAT they want to do, but WHY they are doing it.

Here in South Australia they play hardball.You see a psychatrist for at least 3 months and then you see another for 1 session, then you might get your letter.

Quote from: Lesley-Ann on March 24, 2010, 03:27:59 AM
Here in South Australia they play hardball.You see a psychatrist for at least 3 months and then you see another for 1 session, then you might get your letter.

Wow... I'm really surprised by that. I thought our lot in general would be a little more chill about using the SOC as a guideline only (cultural love of insubordination and all ). In NSW, my experiance was the opposite of yours.

I went in to the guy I mentioned above and got my T letter pretty quickly (but I don't want to elaborate more than that on the specific timeframe).

It was amazingly painless - quite enjoyable actually, wish I had a reason to go back before I need a surgery letter! (I was offered it if I wanted to, but I thought I'd step aside and make room for other people that need it more than I do).

All in all, I got the distinct impression he was using the SOCs as a guideline, but also took my situation, history and progression of my transition into account (in other words, listened!).

I really feel for everyone here that's had (or having) a hard time with this stage of transition. You have my condolences. A good shrink has the ability to make your transition go a whole lot smoother and easier.

The first person I ever told was a psychology intern that I saw ever week for therapy (for depression). I was crying my eyes out, but she was really supportive. I learned to trust someone, which was really hard for me. If it wasn't for her I don't know if I would be as happy and hopeful as I am now. I saw a gender therapist later on, I was quite nervous, but I'm nervous in any new situation  . It went alright, although I was hoping to get a letter for HRT right away, (naive of me I know  ) so I was a bit distraught. My gender therapist pushed me to start a partial real-life experience and to tell a friend or family member. HRT was the carrot dangled in front of me. I'm glad he did that though, not sure if I would ever have told my family without some encourgement 

I was incredibly anxious. It went well though. She complemented my argyle socks.

I'm still seeing her and we're making progress.

Quote from: rejennyrated on March 23, 2010, 04:58:33 PM
It's much the same as what happens at the better UK GIC's only slightly less gladiatorial.

In our system the shrinks tend to play rough. From what I have seen of the US system many of the therapists there seem to adopt a less confrontational approach and try to work through the whole exploration of how their patients feel - the focus being on helping them to understand not just WHAT they want to do, but WHY they are doing it.

In other words in the U.S the psychiatrists actually have a positive attitude towards us instead of a negative one we have from the NHS!