Wow Melissa, you actually have some stuff!  When I left, I had some clothes and some records and that was it.  There was still lots of room left in the car.  So, from my perspective, you are doing well.  It seems that you are holding up okay.  And that is good enough for right now.

Cindi

Hehe, I have way more stuff than I thought I had.  I have to abandon some of it due to lack of space.  Anyways, I'm almost all moved in now.  I came back tot he house and logged in on my ex's computer to type this message.  I still have a bunch of shopping I need to do and I just grabbed my shoe collection.  I didn't realize I had so many shoes.

Amber helped me with moving a lot of the furniture as well as my ex and her son (teenager) because they wanted me out of the house.  Over the course of next week,  I will still be grabbing stuff.  Ok, I have to get going now.

Melissa

Congrats on finding a new place, Melissa!  I'm sorry I couldn't be there to help you move.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I am, if not more!

And if you want to get rid of one of those computers, let me know...

Chaunte

Congrats on the new place!  It'll be nice once you get your stuff all arranged.  Enjoy your new freedom

Congratulations Melissa!!
It's nice to see you  happy   again, happy and free like a bird. Wish you all the luck in the future!!!


* *
Michelle

I've been working so hard the entire weekend.  I am sore on every square inch of my body and feel like I've been in a fight.  Wearing makeup was an exercise in futility as I sweated right off and looked like something that belonged in a toilet, but still passed as female anyways.  I didn't really care either way with the way I felt, but was glad I did pass, even with a little stubble.

Chaunte, if you want a computer, you can have it minus the monitor keyboard, and mouse if I don't have to pay anything to get it to you.  I don't need all the computers, but I didn't have a great way to get rid of them.  I probably will be setting them up so that I can get rid of them.  The only computeres I want to keep are my good computer, laptop, server, and karaoke computer.  The rest I don't care about.

I'm still trying to scavenge around the house for certain useful, but missing items.  Slowly but surely.  Well, back to scavenging and the dinner.

Melissa

You sure sound happy Mellisa.

                        Marco

melissa has everything TO be happy for.

I am so delighted she is getting what she wants.........

I don't have everything.  I need to figure out how to get some more money quickly.  Otherwise, my deposit check will bounce and I'll be screwed.  I just looked over my bank records and my ex took out $450 from my account that I had been unaware of.  I am cutting her off completely until I have money I can pay to her.  She has financially sucked me dry and was still begging for more money last night--for cigarettes.  I told he I wasn't supporting that habit.  Lately she has done some things to royally piss me off and I let her know some of the things I was pissed about.  Anyway, I am going to try and figure out a way to get some money in this crunch.

Melissa
Posted on: September 25, 2006, 08:30:27 AM

---

I'm going to try and get a small consolidation loan of about $3500.  This would provide some relief to my immediate bills and allow me to actually start working on getting my finances in order.  Also, I'd be able to afford internet at home then.   If I can't get one through my bank, I know there are several places that have sent me "pre-qualified" loan notices for enough money.

Melissa

  I remember when I first started my transition.  I moved to a new city but I had several thousand dollars saved up for emergencies.  Unfortunatelly I didn't realize how many emergencies there were going to be.

  It can be a daunting task to move out and start from scratch on your own.  You may lose a lot of your self confidence in the process, I know I did.  I had to seriously wonder if was going to be able to survive financially.  The good news is these feelings are just that, feelings.  Once you get past them things begin to look a little brighter.

  Good luck with your consolidation loan Melissa .  Be careful when dealing with those "pre-qualified" places.  The offers they provide are enticing but often the small print and huge interest rates can put you farther in the hole than you were to start out with. 

  I'll keep my fingers crossed that things get better for you........

Thanks Brandi.  Out of necessity, I kind of got stuck in a rut with payday loans and part of this consolidation loan would get me out of this rut.  Then I should be able to afford payments.  Plus, my car is paid off now.   I have 2 days of spiro left, but I'll take it out of savings if necessary.  I'm already amazed at how I have financially juggled so far.  I'm sure I'll be able to pull this off one way or another.

Melissa
Posted on: September 25, 2006, 10:24:15 AM

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Well, the bank loan was declined.  They are going to send it on to some other department to see if they can still do something, but it doesn't look hopeful.  They're supposed to get back to me by the end of the week, but my phone will probably be shut off before then.  Maybe I can get a new phone.  My 2 year contract is up, so I wouldn't have any penalties for switching to a new provider.  It would result in my ex having her phone shut off, but it will probably be shut off anyways.

Melissa
Posted on: September 25, 2006, 12:47:02 PM

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Well, I just talked to the ex and briefed her on the situation and she agreed the phone thing sounded fine, so I'll go do that today.  I don't think she wanted me financially injured, she just doesn't communicate with me what she spends, so if I made her sound like she was evil, that was mostly out of anger.

Melissa

Melissa,
I'm sorry that I didn't get to respond to this  post sooner but I didn't see it
I too Melissa, am close to finding my own apartment.
My spouse and I are at each other's throat's and it's become increasingly difficult to live under the same roof with her.
I have  a feeling of excitment  and fright at the same time. I just hope I'll be ok.
Please let us know how your new place is working out for you!!

Do you have a 401k or life insurance policy that you can draw a loan on?  That is what I did to help stabilize my finances. 

For the 401k, you will need your spouse to approve the loan as well.  It's how the law works because the spouse is entitled to some of the funds upon retirement as well.

Chaunte

Quote from: Chaunte on September 30, 2006, 08:51:09 PM

Do you have a 401k or life insurance policy that you can draw a loan on?  That is what I did to help stabilize my finances. 

For the 401k, you will need your spouse to approve the loan as well.  It's how the law works because the spouse is entitled to some of the funds upon retirement as well.

Chaunte

No.  I had one a few years ago, but I had to do this very thing after I lost my job.

As far as finances, I am just playing it a little at a time.  I am talking to people I owe money to and explaining my situation (short of being TS) and am working it out a little at a time that way.  I am hoping that my apartments does not discover that the deposit check has bounced before my next paydate.  If they do discover that, I am hoping they are willing to work with me rather than kick me out--which most likely they will work with me.  I was able to get my last laser hair removal payment postponed until my next treatment, so that helped.  I still can't afford a bed, but as long as I keep enough air in my air mattress, it is OK.  I have plenty of food to get by as long as I keep making food for lunches.  I am living broke right now, but am able to keep myself occupied with plenty of stuff.  I will only be able to spend a minimal amount of money at the fest next weekend (i.e. No drinking) and I do have enough hormones for another month.

I think I have enough gas until the next payday and I imagine if there is anything I really need badly, I can borrow it from the house.  I did take a few items I had bought, but hadn't used and didn't need for a while (like spices) and was able to get enough money to buy a swimsuit for the pool (indoor), which I used yesterday.  It was nice being able to pass even in a swimsuit with wet hair and hardly any makeup on (just eyeliner) because there were several other people there.  My swimsuit has a little skirt and floral patterns so it hides any anomaly well enough.  I will probably wear underwear under it next time to help.  It's actually quite an ideal swimsuit for a pre-op and I got it for only $16.

For the most part, it feels pretty good to be single.  I did feel depressed last night for some reason and after talking to Marco on the phone last night, I felt a lot better.  I can't wait to be able to get internet back at my place (I'm using it from work only at the moment), so I can get on Susan's if necessary.  Also, having TV would be nice, but I did find the box where the cable is connected right outside my backdoor and the cover is off.  I'll have to examine that more carefully .  In a couple weeks, I'll probably be able to afford it and just pay then.  I know, I have a bad streak, but hey, it's not like I've never done that before.

Melissa