I started because I wanted to be more powerful.
I don't like being cornered by masculinity. I am a slave to the hormones but then also to a gender identity that is not respected (therefore I am not respected). I felt even as a male I was outside of the male culture but I was still blamed for it.
As a male I often receive harsh attitudes. Tough guy ->-bleeped-<- -- like as if it were a piece of advice to grow on -- in reality it made no sense, and I was then blamed for the social irrationality.
It's what I have always wanted but was not willing to go half way. And sure testosterone is a sickness.
I my body was not what I would have liked it to be. While I am very attractive person, there is far too much ugly in mankind.
I continue to take them because my personality is far more acceptable than it was before. I can do things I was unable to do before. Even the look being deceiving it is even more divisive.
A problem I have as a male is that I am highly articulate but choke on my words some. This is usually identified as a *something* by some people and subjects me to (false) criticism to guard this opinion of me. As if it were the *key*.
As female I would hardly know the estrogen was their until I enter into a conversation with another person. I have more difficulty rendering accurately. Not that I couldn't invent something, I just don't My approach is not necessarily more gentle or less reactionary. It is much more fluid and feminine however, and this is controllable -- I can and usually do prop up a mutual conversation initially but then drop it once I feel comfortable. I will also diverge as if somehow am lost in myself or have to elevate myself to the conversation. It becomes almost impossible to pick a fight with me. Leaves people with a confused look. And I am then in control of situations. Because I now lie so low (naturally as a male, I barely stick up to far above the surface, now I'm just a fairy princess with really big forearms), retrograde straw man attacks are useless, never the less.
