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Ladies, were you passable when you went full time?

Started by Dana Lane, February 01, 2010, 04:29:25 AM

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0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Basically I would like to know what your appearance was like when you went full time. Did you look like a female? Not? A little?

Yes
16 (25.8%)
No
7 (11.3%)
A little
22 (35.5%)
A lot
10 (16.1%)
Other
7 (11.3%)

Total Members Voted: 34

Dana Lane

I have been thinking a lot about going full time lately as I feel I can't stand it anymore. When I first started going through transition I decided I would wait until having FFS before starting my RLE. But as we know, things change! While I think I look cute wearing makeup I have no doubts in my mind that I am not a passable female.

I am mainly trying to gauge to see what status other MTF ladies were in when they went full time. Were you passable? Were you obviously not passable?
============
Former TS Separatist who feels deep regret
http://www.transadvocate.com/category/dana-taylor
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Hannah

Yeah I had pretty much the same plan, but felt compelled to move it up. It was about 6 months of hrt and pretty much no I did not. It's been a drag too, no pun intended, but the ups definitely outweigh the downs. It's about 60/40 now, depending if it's a good voice day.
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Janet_Girl

I was 4 months into HRT when I went full time.  I had been part time when not at work and judge the reactions of people.  When it was obvious that no one cared I knew it was time.

And I never looked back.  It was strange when I had followups with his doctors, but everyone was very professional.
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spacial

I lived in a town that wouldn't have accepted such things at a time when such things were probably illegal.

Had no problems then at all.
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cynthialee

I will be going fulltime after my name change on the 8th. I do not pass unless I am completely dolled up and keep my mouth shut.   ;) So, no.
So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu 'The art of War'
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Sandy

When I moved out of my spouses house and in with Julie, I vowed to be out full time except at work.  A few months later I went full time at work as well.

The point I think I am making is that if *you* believe you are passable, most around you will not question you.

Check out my blog "Sandy's Transition" for some interesting stories about passing and being clocked (specifically "Put to the test... UPDATED" and "Look at him swish...").

Most people do not expect to see anything but a female (or a male) in public.  And if you have confidence about your presentation, people will accept you at face value.

So, if you think you are cute, Dana, then you *are* cute!

For a sample, here is a picture of me about three years prior to my full time and then a few weeks before FFS but being full time RLE:



I sometimes think that I was not very passable, but I could do nothing else but push on.  And actually I was rarely clocked.  Confidence is everything!

-Sandy
Out of the darkness, into the light.
Following my bliss.
I am complete...
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spacial

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Saskia

By the time I'd transitioned at work and was finally full time I did look feminine. Mind you I did have long permed blond hair and had been taking hormones for a while, which helped a lot.
I was never very masculine looking so was in good shape when my time came to go full time
Live your life for yourself and no one else
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flygirl82

I dont know with me I have always looked extremely feminine.  so when i was full time prior to starting hormones I passed (went to straight bars, got mamed on the airplanes.. i was a flight attendant)  Its weird with me there was no definate transition period i guess. . . 
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CharleneT

{have been full time for 30 days as of today :)  }

Hmm.... it's hard to say.  When I look at myself I think I would score 5 on a scale of 10 ( 10 being GG looks for sure).  Others disagree and I routinely get "mamed" etc... As in other threads, I also swim and use the women's locker rooms.  So, yah, I guess I'm passing pretty well.... but I don't see it - still.  This is hard question to answer.

I wish there had been a choice between "a lot" and "a little" ... while I can't say "YES", I felt "a lot" over states reality.

Sandy:  I think you are very right about confidence.  Also, you looked quite passable:  a knock out combination !!
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Hannah

It's going to be hard to really get a lock on this. As Sandy so cleverly pointed out we are our own harshest critics. I agree and disagree with the idea, but I'll stay on topic. Based on her post my question would be are YOU ready to live full time?   
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Dana Lane

I really appreciate those participating in the polls and those that offer stories about their own transition status. The numbers are very interesting and it is showing me a bit more what reality is for a lot of us that begin RLE. I thought the number of passable would be a lot higher than the other choices. I guess it is comforting to know that I wouldn't be the only one that went full time without passing (in appearance) as a female. I am not sure when I will end up making the switch but am thinking about it a lot and can't wait for that part to be behind me!
============
Former TS Separatist who feels deep regret
http://www.transadvocate.com/category/dana-taylor
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Dawn D.

I am typically very hesitant to answer these type questions. Mostly because the issue of whether you pass or not shouldn't really be the be all, end all answer as to when and/or if you come out full time. Be that as it may, I "think" I pass reasonably well. Yet, knowing that (in my own mind) did not actually enter much into the equation when I made that fateful decision about nine months ago. It was more about not being able to go on any longer without being "me". People would accept me or not. That was just the way it had to be.

I'll admit though, I do like it when I get compliments from the guy's that come into my business, lol!


Dawn 
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rejennyrated

In all honesty I had to tick "other" as I first went full time when I was about five years old. So I honestly have no idea.

I do recall that I was thought to be a bit odd, but quite fun, by my school friends. But it was a very posh private school (the sort where royalty send their kids) and no one would have dared to criticise.
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K8

I checked "other" too, but because when I started full time I just didn't care whether I passed or not.  (Good thing. :P

I started full time 19 days after starting hormones.  I just felt ready to take the leap.  I live in a small town, so almost everyone who saw me that day had seen me in the previous week.  I didn't care.  I had to do it.  And everything went fine - no problems other than a few raised eyebrows. :)

However, after digging up a picture from that day to show all of you, I'd like to change my response to "no".  Here's the evidence:



- Kate

Life is a pilgrimage.
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Ms.Behavin

Lets see, I went full time about 5 months into HRT.  Lets just be kind and say I did not pass real well then. I was out and proud, as it were.   But it takes time to unlearn all the old ways and to let HRT run it's course.  Passability (gee is that even a word)  increased as time went on. After 9-10 months I was just alot more relaxed.  Now a days I look at the before photo's sometime and go who was that person.....

When the time is right you'll know.

Beni
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mmelny

Quote from: Dana Lane on February 01, 2010, 04:29:25 AM
I am mainly trying to gauge to see what status other MTF ladies were in when they went full time. Were you passable? Were you obviously not passable?

Hi Dana,

RLE doesn't have to be absolutely black and white, it can be a graduated thing, which is how I approached it.  I was full time outside of work for almost a year, before having FFS, which was my (planned) catalyst for going full time at work.  I was 'mostly' passable before FFS (after 2 years on HRT), and could wander a supermarket, restaurant without stares, etc

However I felt I needed FFS for the confidence boost for the close interaction and for being taken seriously within the workplace, and so I chose that option, after I had gotten RLE from the previous year.   I found this to be a good balance, partial-RLE as a runner for full-RLE, lol, if that makes sense.  ::)

I couldn't have imagined not having completed "partial" RLE prior to going full time at work, then just having FFS and wandering into work, and being halfway presentable as a woman... IE, the year of doing RLE outside of work was critical for me.

Good Luck!
Melan
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Cindy

I worked with one TG before I started the path. We never really spoke. When I met her it was obviously early days. Hair was male ish, male pattern baldness, in the middle of electro. She was working as an electrician in the maintenace dept. She was as friendly as could be. Her male colleagues obviously respected and supported her. I got the distinct impression that if anyone gave her a hard time a rather large male colleague would visit. They were obviously protective of her. Fantastic. I watched her develop over; I think about five years. Skin changes, hair changes, she lost the MPB but I never asked how. Other women started to talk to her about all the stuff we seem to talk about. She became an obvious female shape and personality. She had obvious male characteritics when I first met her. Before she left it was totally obvious that none of my new students recognised her as anything but the woman she was.

I never got to say good bye.


She has given me a lot of hope.

Attitude, Attitude, Attitude.

Cindy

Post Merge: February 02, 2010, 01:30:54 AM

Oh,
I hadn't noticed :laugh:
What a great 2k to post on :-*
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Valentina

Other.  To be honest I dunno I never asked.  I went full time after 12 months on mones & it was a non-issue.  That tells me that peeps were perceiving me as female.
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sneakersjay

I know I wasn't (not a lady but gonna contribut anyway!).

The first few times I wrote a check, I had people look at me quizzically and ask for ID.  Also happened when I took my car in for an oil change and handed them my credit card.  Also asked for ID.  I know they are supposed to, but the look on their faces said they didn't believe the name on the check or credit card was me.  How nice to whip out my official driver's license. :)  Because surely the DMV had it right!  Right there next to my barely passing pic.  (Remember, where I live there is a large lesbian population, so I looked like one!).

Funny now nobody asks for that ID any more.  :D  Unless they are folllowing the rules, and it's more in a bored way.

Jay


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