Who do you turn to for support when you need a shoulder to cry on?

Pillow

One of the reasons we all have to contain so much of our inner feelings is that so many people try to use them to assert themselves and justify their own inadequacies.

Personally, and I'm pretty sure that many here will say the same, some of the biggest mistakes of my life, perhaps all of the biggest mistakes have been trusting people.

I understand that some people have relationships with their parents, partners, even some friends where they can indeed let it all out.

If any here do, it will be interesting to hear if they do feel any better for it.

It depends on the kind of support.  In the days when the kind of support I needed was trans-related..e.g. ruminations before GRS, etc I used to come here & let it all out.  That's changed & nowadays my family & fiance can easily relate to what I feel when before GRS they didn't, so I bother them instead.

boyfriend.........! poor him

My wife, of course!

I have a surprising number of friends I can count on to listen to me whine and tell me to get over myself.  And I have been surprised at how many of them really understand, despite the fact that they never gave gender much thought before I raised the issue. 

I have been and continue to be exceedingly fortunate.  *hugs guys and gals*

- Kate

My friend Peggy.  And she cry's to me.  She is like a Mom to me and my ex surprisingly.

I have friends and family both that I can cry/whine to when needed although I tend to run to my friends more often.  I have a few ladies who have welcomed me wholeheartedly as one of the girls and are there for every single bump in the road.  Sometimes it may be to get a good smack on the back of the head, or a hug, or even welcome to the club hon (insert giggle)   

What has surprised me though has been a couple of my male friends who've stood by me through this whole trip.  My friend Matt shocked me big one day when I was having a really hard moment.  He grabbed me, pulled me in, and just held onto me as I just balled my eyes out.  It happened when my ex was being a real.....well you can guess what she was.      There was nothing intimate about it.  He just gave me his shoulder when I needed it and reassured me that everything was going to be ok.  It was just amazing to be treated that way.  Just the feeling of security was reassuring.

I don't think I've ever felt the ability to do so, I just feel so guilty of putting my crap onto someone else, so yeah my pillow.. but even that's a struggle. Knowing my luck I'll wake up in the middle of the night with it pouncing on my face calling me a bitch while trying to suffocate me "this is for all the crap you bestowed upon me and all those suffocating hugs I had to endure!!! rrarrr". aaahh but but but...you're a pillow? "oh you're just making it worse!!!!".
I guess sometimes my mum but she usually deflects it with a change of subject.
hhmmm >_>

Sometimes I visit the only woman I could ever love (Betty Crocker). If Betty can't help then there's my therapist, and if it gets really tough my bottle of Norcos. There's really nobody who cares enough about me to listen without being paid, but whatever they can all kiss my cute, pale white butt.

Mom or sis.  How pedestrian of me. =P

My sister in law.

Virginia Marie, Janet, Heather, LordKat, Nicky, lots of you on this site. Sorry to you all but thanks as well

Cindy

My partner, my therapist, my roommate, or failing those, almost anyone nearby at the time. I'm an equal opportunity cry baby.

Nobody.

Yep, Nobody. Over the years after being burned time and again by trusting friends, family, and even my wife i've found that nobody is worthy of my trust at the deepest level. It's just not worth having it turned back against me in the future. So I deal with things myself.

My soulmate of the last 22 years. That's her beside me in the picture.

Nobody, unfortunately.  It isn't how I want it to be, but every single time I do trust someone, I end up regretting it later in the most horrible fashion possible.    Family.  Friends.  (ex)Spouse.  Doesn't matter who...it always turns out the same way.
.
So from there, I usually go Becca's route.  Except usually I drown myself in chocolate...dark chocolate.  The darker the better.  Or brownies....or...some some other heavily carb laden food that I really should stay away from. 
.
mmmm...brownies.  Now where did I put that brownie pan?

Did I hear brownies?

PS , thats why i talk to a pillow, it doesn't turn traitor on me.

Quote from: Valentina on February 11, 2010, 05:28:23 AM
Who do you turn to for support when you need a shoulder to cry on?

My best friend, ie spouse.

After speaking to a therapist and coming out to my wife, I've never felt better.  To have someone you can trust is priceless.

Everyone has problems in life.  Finding a caring compassionate friend can really help.  The synergy in friendship makes our social nature a survival trait.

Throw a brownie on top of that and you're really talking!!!