My parents (mostly my mom) have been plaguing me to get up off the computer and go out and "do something with some friends - or meet some new ones!" So i looked up the local GLBT community and found a meet-up scheduled at a local jazz bar/club this thursday.

Here's what happened:

Me: Mom, i'm going out this thursday.
Mom: Oh, that's nice - it's about time! Where? Are you going with Leslie?
Me: Oh, down town. And no, not with Leslie.
Mom: Amber?
Me: No.
Mom: Felicia? Oh, i haven't seen her in a long time....
Me: Not her either.
Mom: Then who? Someone we haven't met yet?
Me: Sort of.
Mom: *blank look* Well where are you going then?
Me: To the jazz bar/club thing near the dinner and a movie place.
Mom: *confused look*  Why on EARTH are you going there?
Me: To meet some people.
Mom: Who?
Me: Do you really want to know? *hint hint*
Mom: Yes! I want to know who my daughter is hanging out with!
Me: *rolls eyes* Point is i don't even know them yet......
Mom: Don't get smart with me!
Me: Sorry. You just keep saying you don't want to talk about "the issue"....
Mom: What does that have to do with anything?
Me: *sigh*
Mom: Erin.....
Me: Fine, fine - i'm going to a bar to meet up with the local GLBT community who has a meet up a few times a month so i can chat with some people in the community, hopefully with fellow transpeople to get a better idea of what i want and how things work.
Mom: *blank stare* ..... *stalks off*
Me: Told you, you didn't want to know. *calls after her* If it helps any my therapist said talking to other transmen was a good idea!

Hehehe..... The irony! She wants me to go out and meet people and now i am. ^_^

Moms eh??

All you can really do is love them.

I can only imagine coming out to my mom at your age.  Hard enough at mine!  LOL

When I came out as trans, she said at one point:  Well, this is easier to take than if you said you were gay.

Many months later:  It would have been easier if you said you were gay.

Last month I told her I was gay:  Oh, no!  I don't think I can handle that!


LOL

Jay

Jay

That response from you mum is one to remember.

Jay: ROFLMAO

My mom said she would rather me be gay and that they could accept THAT easier than THIS.... right off the bat. I think her exact words where... "Are you sure you're just not a butch lesbian? You could be, right? I mean... that would be so much easier for us."

I just roll my eyes and sigh - i'm leaving it up to the therapist to use the fancy words to explain it.

The newest thing is blaming it on the BC pills i'm on (only on them until i secure my T letter so i don't have to deal with red death every month). I'm like... yeah, okay, sure. It just HAS to be the pills....

I have confused my parents by saying I feel like a gay man for years     After years and years of confusion and depression I think my coming out as trans made sense for my parents and they seem happy that I am happier now. 

Hopefully your mum will come around in time.  Do go and meet other transmen, it certainly made me feel really good to know that others are around and how much transition can do for you. 

Quote from: FolkFanatic on February 16, 2010, 11:53:49 AM
The newest thing is blaming it on the BC pills i'm on (only on them until i secure my T letter so i don't have to deal with red death every month). I'm like... yeah, okay, sure. It just HAS to be the pills....

Actually that's adding more female hormones in your system, therefore decreasing your natural T levels. And we all know that filling your body with excess female hormones just makes you identify as a male and makes you act more masculine.

Radar - I think they're at the denial stage and looking for reasons i may be identifying as trans. Fix-able reasons. One by one they'll run out of things to try to blame and they'll either accept it or not. In the mean time i'm going to therapy (general therapist though soon to be going to gender specialist) and getting closer and closer to getting my carry and T letter.

I am having my hormones checked though, just to see what's what. It'll be interesting to see what the results are. I'm hoping to show low or regular levels of T for "female" so my parents can't blame that any more and move on.

They've also blamed the meds i'm on for acid reflux, the internet, TV..... I just grin and bear it for now.

Quote from: FolkFanatic on February 16, 2010, 06:41:04 PM
Radar - I think they're at the denial stage and looking for reasons i may be identifying as trans. Fix-able reasons. One by one they'll run out of things to try to blame and they'll either accept it or not.

Yeah, I know. I just had that "reason" thrown at me and everything else possible when I first told my husband. Even though I knew he was in denial it still really pissed me off. It's like he completely dismissed that fact of how I've felt all my life. If it helps you any he got through the denial stage quickly so hopefully your parents- who have known you all your life- will too.

I know it's hard living with people who aren't completely supportive of your transition. Trust me... I really know. It's hell. But you'll get through it.

LOL what a response. sounds pretty typical

on the note of BC, i have some pretty bad hormonal issues and i've told my mom that it would go away on T (lord i hope so) and she says "well THAT'S not a good reason to transition". again....because all "women" with hormonal issues want to be men. riiight 

Quote from: FolkFanatic on February 16, 2010, 06:41:04 PM
They've also blamed the meds i'm on for acid reflux, the internet, TV..... I just grin and bear it for now.

Hm... sounds like my mother. Blames my friends, blames the internet, blames TV... So yeah, I know how that is. Oh parents .
But you've got to love it when you can do something like that and just be like 'yeah, so I'm going to socialize more' but in doing so you're socializing more with 'those people'. It's like 'What? You wanted me to socialize...'

Lol, your parents sound irritating.

Quote from: VampyreAri on February 16, 2010, 09:16:52 PM
Hm... sounds like my mother. Blames my friends, blames the internet, blames TV... So yeah, I know how that is. Oh parents .

Ditto, although not with the GID thankfully.

Yes, they are irritating sometimes. But they're my parents - i think they ALL come with that little built-in trait.

In other news:

Mom: Erin, i thought we agreed no more buying stuff?
Me: Huh?
Mom: I found this up in the printer. *holds up printed receipt*
Me: Oh, that. I have to buy those.
Mom: What are they?
Me: Books.
Mom: Don't get smart with me!
Me: Well, they are!
Mom: What are they for? *reads the list* Trans.... Erin, why are you getting books about "that"?
Me: About what?
Mom: You KNOW.
Me: No i don't.
Mom: *sigh* Trans stuff. I thought we where doing baby steps?
Me: This is PART of "baby steps".... for me. it's called research.
Mom: I thought you DID research?
Me: I did. But Dr. P---o told me it would be a good idea to read a few books. Biographies and such.
Mom: *blank stare*
Me: To get a feel of what other people went through...?

I just LOVE pulling the "doctor told me" card! And in case it isn't noticeable yet my mom pulls the "don't get smart with me" thing and i've been trying HARD to get her to say "transsexual".... instead of "that".

I love the "I thought we agreed..." comment.  LOL

Baby steps to parents = ignoring the whole thing and sweeping it under the rug and pretending it doesn't exist

Baby steps to us: research, therapy, haircut, clothing changes

Actual steps:  Starting T, top surgery, name changes, etc.

Jay

Edited to add:  Your mom just needs to meet a real life transguy who is fully transitioned   And see that we are normal, stable, happy, productive people!

Quote from: VampyreAri on February 16, 2010, 09:16:52 PM


Hm... sounds like my mother. Blames my friends, blames the internet, blames TV... So yeah, I know how that is. Oh parents .

As though even the possibility of a reason behind it makes our trans feelings any less valid...

Quote from: sneakersjay on February 17, 2010, 09:19:34 AM
I love the "I thought we agreed..." comment.  LOL

Baby steps to parents = ignoring the whole thing and sweeping it under the rug and pretending it doesn't exist

Baby steps to us: research, therapy, haircut, clothing changes

Actual steps:  Starting T, top surgery, name changes, etc.

Jay

Edited to add:  Your mom just needs to meet a real life transguy who is fully transitioned   And see that we are normal, stable, happy, productive people!

Exactly!

My parents hate it when i "waste" money on stuff i don't need, so they tell me "don't buy any more" and think we had an agreement. I'm like.... nope. Sorry. Don't recall that one. ^_^

I'm hoping a gender specialist will be able to talk them out of the "baby steps" thing (they brush things off easily but usually some in-your-face proof will turn that around), and it would be GREAT to introduce them to a successful transguy as you said.

However it's hard to find anyone willing to do that when you're "new" to the community and don't have the resources.... I'm going to a meet up on Thursday and hope i can find someone to talk to about the transition and my parents. See if someone can help out with that issue.

I'm four of four on your baby steps list BTW (though i need to find and go to a gender specialist), will have the T by summer if all goes to plan and everything else will follow. ^_^ I'm far past the baby-steps though i don't turn down a good read (research).

Quote from: FolkFanatic on February 16, 2010, 11:53:49 AM
"that would be so much easier for us."

... Shouldn't it be about what makes you happy? not what's convenient for them?

Quote from: Miniar on February 17, 2010, 05:04:25 PM
... Shouldn't it be about what makes you happy? not what's convenient for them?

^This^

(Stop taking the words outta my mouth Min! lol)

You gotta love parents sometimes... when you do EXACTLY what they ask, to the letter, they don't know what to do with themselves 

Quote from: insanitylives on February 17, 2010, 05:56:40 PM
You gotta love parents sometimes... when you do EXACTLY what they ask, to the letter, they don't know what to do with themselves 

ROFLMAO!

Exactly!