What "male privileges" have you lost in the process of transition?

I never considered any of my privileges as a male to really be privileges so to speak. About the only thing I can say that was a lose was the ability to be taken seriously in my male dominated career.

I seems that people, particularly men, just don't think that I am as smart as I was when I was on their side of the fence.  My intelligence nor my knowledge has not changed just the gender.  Go Figure.

Men who think just cause your a female your dumb and can't do anything.

I don't know if it's because they think of you as dumb but because they have this inbuilt instinct to what to help women as they see them as less physically able therefore just less able in general. I don't think they mean to be like that and it shouldn't be taken that way. Unless you stand up and correct them on something and they flip out and hate you for it.

Just the past few days I've begun to notice how I'm no longer considered part of the 'guys', yet not a part of the 'girls' just yet.. kinda in limbo. The guys are really accepting and supportive, I just don't get included on the guy stuff any more. I guess I've expressed a disinterest in typical guy stuff so it's cool *shrugs*.
Not really a privilege though is it
..hhmmm.... in limbo, sums up so much of my life right now.

Dunno.... Never considered having any... I suppose the usual 'more money' 'more respect' and being treated like I know what I'm doing... but to me, i never really gave it a second thought.


I don't think I ever experieneced much male privilage transitioning at the end of my teens, I didn't have the more money, or the respect in the work place, but as ive been living and growing, ive started to see that from this side of the fence... and while i have experienced misogny, and chauvanism, I shrug it off, or proove them wrong with my actions, not theoretical words... I get on with life, like so many other women because this is life... in so many things, its 4 times the effort, for half the respect, but we do it, and we proove we can do it, and we move on.

If male privilage is a factor in your transition... i suggest you reevaluate that one...

Quote from: The None Blonde on February 24, 2010, 10:28:14 PM
If male privilage is a factor in your transition... i suggest you reevaluate that one...

Well, I think that's a matter of when you transition. For those of us starting the process much later in life, who have therefore experienced more of the social benefits accorded to men, it's something that we are, at the very least aware of. That's particularly true if, like me, one has been blessed with multiple privileges: race, class, education, professional status, etc.

Right now - pre-transition, but just about to start the process after years and years of hesitation - I am almost always listened to with respect and taken seriously both personally and professionally. When I'm on the road, the nice woman behind the hotel/car hire/check-in desk will do her very best to get me what I want, if I ask her nicely and smile. I can walk down the street and not get hassled or threatened, nor do I ever feel vulnerable or exposed when travelling alone on a late night train, or eating alone in a restaurant/drinking in a bar. It takes me less than ten minutes to shower, shave, dress and get out of the house, wearing the clothes cleaned and ironed for me by my wife. All that stuff will go within the next two years. And of course it will be a loss.

BUT ... men's lives are increasingly much narrower, more limited and much less expressive than women's. Think of all the different ways a woman can live her life - as a professional person, a mother, a wife: yes, they can involve tough, painful choices, but they are choices men do not have. She can express herself much more freely in their clothes and cover a much wider range from tough one minute to girly the next; from denims and workboots to ballgowns and heels. She can display her vulnerabilities more freely and her emotions more openly. I long for those thing as I have done all my life.

For me, and for all of us who transition from male to female, the exchange is surely a positive one. If it weren't why would we go through the stress, cost, pain and constant potential for humiliation and even violence that transition entails?

But are there losses involved? Absolutely.

My "GID" was to the degree that I was barely functioning as a human being let alone as a "man".  Example, I couldn't date.  I knew I could never get married.  I was self-destructive and I never got a good education.  I didn't understand men and I was unable to climb the ladder at work.  People expected stuff from me but there were no benefits.  I suppose I could walk across town without fearing being raped.  But being female has a lot more benefits.  Being an attractive female who is relatively young has even more.  I am way better off, I have a lot more privilege as a woman.  It was impossible to date women before transition but I don't seem to have much trouble attracting men now that I have fixed my life.  I am able to socially interact with women now as a member of the female tribe.  Children don't have to fear me.  I make more money than I ever did before transition.  People do nice things for me.  Life is good.

As a dude I was able to project an aura of "GET OUT OF MY WAY!" and it worked even against very large men who could have easily stomped me, I got through crowds very easy.
As a chick I try that trick and most men seem to not even notice me its like being a strong wilful chick makes alot of people not want to notice me, and I often have issues geting through crowds. Weird.

Similar to several others' experiences, I apparently dropped a few IQ points with transition.  Inversely, I probably became more employable given my female-dominated field...

Lia

Quote from: jayjay on February 24, 2010, 08:14:19 PM
What "male privileges" have you lost in the process of transition?

Ceased to be a nazifeminist target not to mention the "honor" of dying for our country in unfair wars.

I would definitely agree with the apparently losing a few IQ points, and being treated like I don't know what I'm talking about by men in trade professions, even as a bank manager. I guess it's the blond hair. Other than a few instances like that, I can't really think of any situations where I feel that I lost privilege. I don't feel as safe as I used to, I feel like I am more of a target, seen as a weak woman rather than a strong man. That is an odd change, as in my previous profession I was a police officer. So, know I am more of a target, and no longer have the weapon to defend myself with. I just know that I think a lot more about personal safety than I did before.

Kat

security is one of the big ones.  As a guy, no one really messed with me and I didn't really worry about walking past a group of guys.  But now guys will come up to me and bother me and it makes me feel less safe.

 

Quote from: Carlita on February 25, 2010, 06:23:48 AM
When I'm on the road, the nice woman behind the hotel/car hire/check-in desk will do her very best to get me what I want, if I ask her nicely and smile.

I just drove 5500 miles alone across the country.  The nice girl/woman behind the desk was very nice to me because I was a woman like her and she didn't have to deal with some arrogant man.

Quote from: Carlita on February 25, 2010, 06:23:48 AM
I can walk down the street and not get hassled or threatened, nor do I ever feel vulnerable or exposed when travelling alone on a late night train, or eating alone in a restaurant/drinking in a bar.

I definitely feel more vulnerable, but I have taken steps to keep myself safe.

Quote from: Carlita on February 25, 2010, 06:23:48 AM
It takes me less than ten minutes to shower, shave, dress and get out of the house, wearing the clothes cleaned and ironed for me by my wife.

It takes me a lot longer to get ready in the morning, but I'm happy to do it.

I always did the household laundry and folded it, even when I was married.  We each ironed our own clothes, and she had other chores that she took care of.  Maybe you can get a valet or lady's maid.

- Kate

I definitely feel more vulnerable as a woman sometimes.
Men not taking me seriously on everyday issues, thinking my brains are in my boobs.
I had 3brothers, but my family was a bit old fashion, when I transition my parents treated me different to my brothers, I realized after transition it is a man's world, I love being a woman but paid a small price to be a woman.
When my Mother was ill my brothers where not expected to do anything, I was expected to do everything because I am a woman, thats the way things where.
p

Quote from: K8 on February 26, 2010, 11:47:53 AM

I just drove 5500 miles alone across the country.  The nice girl/woman behind the desk was very nice to me because I was a woman like her and she didn't have to deal with some arrogant man.

Well, I did say that I always ask nicely and smile ... which is, now I come to think about it, the traditionally feminine approach to getting what one wants. So maybe I've always had female privilege without even knowing it! 

I went from a white, presumed Christian, middle class, respected veteran, businessperson and student to the bottom of the food chain with that first swallowing of hormones. I had no idea how the rest of the world outside white  male priviledge lived before I experienced it firsthand. So ya Carlita, don't buy into the roses and ponies crap, it's more likely than not that you're going to fall...hard. Are you sure about this because it's a dramatic shift. The upsides are indescribable, but it's certainly different.

Quote from: Becca on February 27, 2010, 06:05:31 AM
I went from a white, presumed Christian, middle class, respected veteran, businessperson and student to the bottom of the food chain with that first swallowing of hormones. I had no idea how the rest of the world outside white  male priviledge lived before I experienced it firsthand. So ya Carlita, don't buy into the roses and ponies crap, it's more likely than not that you're going to fall...hard. Are you sure about this because it's a dramatic shift. The upsides are indescribable, but it's certainly different.

A therapist I was talking to last week - who is incredibly supportive of my situation and very sympathetic - told me that she had spent a lot of time working in India, where they have a strict 'caste' system, which is like the class system, only far, far more rigid. At the top are the Brahmins. At the bottom are the untouchables. 'You are going to go from Brahmin to untouchable,' she said. (I should add that she meant 'untouchable' in terms of the social prejudice against transsexuals. She despises that prejudice, so she wasn't suggesting that being female or TG was actually a bad thing).

So, yes, Becca, you're absolutely right ... and anyone who doesn't think that those of us who are seen by the world as white, male, educated and successful don't have a massive amount of automatic, unearned privilege clearly hasn't been paying attention to the past few hundred years of global history. As any feminist would surely agree ...

And yet, I feel (as I'm sure you do too) compelled to throw it all away in pursuit of a deep and unshakable instinct that my destiny lies elsewhere ...

Hmmmm

I'm seen as less intelligent....
I don't get  the discounts I used to at the junkyards for car parts
When I go to the autoparts store, they always roll there eyes at me when Im placing an order, then give me the wrong stuff (for a similar model of car)
I feel much less safe than I used to, to the point of being happy I'm in texas....
On job sites customers don't want to believe that A: I'm actually doing the work and B: I actually know what I'm doing...
Oh, and my employees have refered to me as an evil gold eyed bi***. Something that would have never happened period, let alone with in earshot....

Know what though
I'm still happier

It certainly can be tiresome, sometimes when you least expect it, you get a reminder on this '' lost male privilege stuff'' yes it happen today.
Myself and my boyfriend went shopping for a new printer for the computer, I wasn't sure on loading the ink cartridges, I asked the guy a simply question, he answered but explaining it to my boyfriend and ignoring me, I wasn't letting it go, normally I would, just the mood I was in, then he answered rolling his eyes to the heavens ''its ok hun Iv just explained everything to your husband'' I was really annoyed, then at the checkout he says to BF, women should stick to flower arranging and leave the electric complicated stuff to men who know what they are doing, they saw it as a joke, well I didn't, btw my boyfriend is not my husband YET!
Just my fiancé, sorry for ranting and thanks for listening.
p